Disobedience to authority figure (does aspie aredisbandment)

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pawelk1986
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22 Sep 2014, 9:54 am

I wonder how many aspies are disobedience to their authority figures (parents, bosses, commander, (husbands in case of girls :D a joke of cores)


But i often read on forums that some people considers aspies as dissident and rude to others.


At one forum i read that one mom complying about her son (presumably non aspie NT boy) disobiedant behavior on user asked that woman that she when he was young was respectful for her parents? Because if she has not she had no moral right to demand respect for herself :D

In Poland we have proverb "Traktuj innych tak, jak Ty byś chciał być traktowany - Treat others as you would want to be treated" This principle is probably rooted in the Scriptures.



Charloz
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22 Sep 2014, 9:59 am

I obey those I respect, when what they tell me to do seems reasonable to me and not detrimental towards my own personal interests. If these criteria are not met I will question such a person's task or opinion in a civilized manner, explaining the issue I have with what they are telling me to do. If this does not persuade them I will refuse to do what they tell me to do, whatever the cost, so as not to harm my own integrity as a human being.

I've always considered it to be a very admirable quality to be able to stand up for yourself and not follow a rule if that rule is unfair to you or to someone else. It takes some strength to follow your heart in these things and stick to your principles, and too many people are weak-minded sheep who follow orders no matter what or do things simply "because its the rules". A mentality I have always hated with a burning passion.

Ever since a child I would sometimes do things that are against the rules... usually without a figure of authority present as I'm not stupid. Some do-gooder teacher's pet would tell me I cannot do this or that because "its against the rules", and I would reply: "why?". They'd say something like "just, because" and threaten to tell on me, and I'd flip them off and do it anyway. Because f**k unreasonable and unfair or impractical rules, that's why! :roll:


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dilanger
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22 Sep 2014, 11:58 am

I despise authority. I don't like being told what to do at all. This is not something to brag about or to be proud of. There are time I wish I would just go with the flow and not fight all the time.

This is bad for personal relationships. I say this now due the fact that I had to learn the hard way.

For work, "I do the job and then I get paid" I signed up to be a commodity. Orders are orders. I do not like surprises and I do not like inspections. I have to deal with it due to logic stating that if it was fun and free it would not be called work.

Parents are always right. I do not like that. Their experiences are very negative when it comes to interacting with other people. This makes me always on my guard. Every time I defy them, it shows that they were right all along.

I still have a problem with authority nonetheless because it was mean bosses/ co-workers making my ex aspie GF upset all the time.



LokiofSassgard
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22 Sep 2014, 1:57 pm

I have a bit of a fear of authority figures, including police. It's not as bad as it used to be, but it was at one time. I'm usually a very cautious person when I'm around them though.

There came a time when I had severe meltdowns over the police coming. However, I somewhat overcame this because a cop had to come to our house. It was a civil matter that the person couldn't deal with and called them. It all started because he did a piss poor job cleaning our rugs at our old house before we moved. Anyway, I started melting down so badly. The cop must have felt bad for me because he asked if I was okay. I think it was that realization that made me see that not all bad.


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Sweetleaf
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22 Sep 2014, 2:07 pm

To me it would depend on the authority figure and what exactly it is they want me to obey....I am not into just going along with something just because an authority figure says to, especially if I disagree. Though if the 'authority' figure is like a cop or someone else who's armed and could harm/kill me if I disobey then I might be a little more careful about how much disobedience I openly express unless I am feeling particularly suicidal.

As for the bit of your post about people considering us rude, well I have had times I say something that comes off as rude on accident but I make an effort not to be rude to people, but can sometimes come off that way by accident.


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Last edited by Sweetleaf on 23 Sep 2014, 11:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

jbw
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23 Sep 2014, 5:36 am

pawelk1986 wrote:
Treat others as you would want to be treated

A literal interpretation of this principle captures the way I think and operate. The same is probably true for many if not most autistics. If so-called authorities don't consistently adhere to this principle or try to apply a far fetched interpretation of this principle, autistics may easily react in terms of disobedience, and may no longer respect the authority.

I am also not inclined to follow rules if the person demanding compliance is not able to produce a good rationale for the rule. Autistics are experts at repeatedly asking "why?" until a satisfactory answer is provided.

In general the neurotypical population is much more inclined to follow requests by authorities simply out of convenience, regardless of whether the rules make any sense in the specific context at hand.

Yesterday I started a poll to explore to what extent autistics and neurotypicals differ in their attitudes to hierarchical social organisational structures http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt267435.html. The results so far are quite interesting.



Hi_Im_B0B
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23 Sep 2014, 9:36 am

pawelk1986 wrote:
In Poland we have proverb "Traktuj innych tak, jak Ty byś chciał być traktowany - Treat others as you would want to be treated" This principle is probably rooted in the Scriptures.
actually, it is the fundamental point of all religions, the one point they all have in common.

if the authority is knowledgeable, thoughtful, fair, etc. - all that good stuff - then i don't have a problem. but i am by nature an iconoclast, so if the authority shows that it is unworthy of respect, then it may have some problems with me, yah.



L_Holmes
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23 Sep 2014, 3:27 pm

I don't have much respect for authority, at least not solely based on the fact that they supposedly have some kind of authority over me. They have to earn my respect for me to listen to them, and what they are saying has to have a good reason.

I often had difficulty with my parents, because I always felt like their rules were very restrictive and had no real function other than to be a rule. So I would question them about it, and even if it was in a civilized manner they would blow up at me for being so "disrespectful". How dare I ask them why they made a rule? It seemed like they thought I was trying to overthrow their dominion or something, that's how upset it made them. When all I wanted to know was why I wasn't allowed to watch Phineas and Ferb (yes, Phineas and Ferb. And I was 17). They still have not explained this to me, other than my step mom saying "it's stupid." I told her she doesn't have to watch it with me, but apparently if she dislikes a show it means it's evil.

I generally give authority respect at first, but it is more just the benefit of the doubt. Once they do something to lose that, I have very little inclination to listen to them unless it is solely based on what they are saying and nothing to do with the fact that they are an authority figure. I despise being told what to do, especially if I feel like that person is trying to put me in my place in some way. If they are wrong, they are wrong, regardless of how others esteem them.


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little_blue_jay
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23 Sep 2014, 11:21 pm

L_Holmes wrote:
I don't have much respect for authority, at least not solely based on the fact that they supposedly have some kind of authority over me. They have to earn my respect for me to listen to them, and what they are saying has to have a good reason.

I generally give authority respect at first, but it is more just the benefit of the doubt. Once they do something to lose that, I have very little inclination to listen to them unless it is solely based on what they are saying and nothing to do with the fact that they are an authority figure. I despise being told what to do, especially if I feel like that person is trying to put me in my place in some way. If they are wrong, they are wrong, regardless of how others esteem them.


When I worked at the coffee shop, one day a film crew came in to film a training video. Fortunately for me I was not on duty that day but I heard all about it the next day when I was. They filmed and then every person who was there that day, whether they appeared in the video or not, had to say "I Promise". I asked a co-worker what it is that they promised. She said absolutely no explanation was given as to what they were promising, just that everyone was made to say it. I said "what would have happened if someone had refused to say it?" She hemmed & hawed but basically implied that the person would have been fired :o That wasn't from 'the horse's mouth' now, but still!

Well da*n if I'm gonna say "I Promise" to something without a clue as to what the heck it is I'm promising! I doubt it would be anything like "I Promise not to reveal what the ingredients are in the Tim's sauce" because any customer who would ask about ingredients would be shown the actual labels, because who knows who needs to avoid allergens or whatever, and besides you can phone a number and be told that anyway! I don't understand the whole secrecy about it - why not tell people what you're making them promise? Anyways if I had been there that day I wouldn't have promised nothin' without an explanation - just because they think they have some teensy bit of authority over me?? Ha!

Guess I'd have been fired that day! I would have said "you do what you think is right, and I'll do the same"!


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