Have people said you look angry (when you're not)?

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Jayo
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25 Sep 2014, 7:48 pm

This must be a pretty common thing for people with Aspergers and other autistic conditions...and it sure as heck frustrated me for a while (making it somewhat of an ironic comment, in a way! :P ) It's rare that I get it now b/c of the improvements I've made and awareness that I've consciously practiced...once in a blue moon from my wife I hear it...but usually when I do feel a bit of anger over something. However, when I was about 14-16 years old especially, I got this comment regularly and couldn't for the life of me comprehend why. :? This was just before the Aspergers diagnosis became published, and nearly a decade before my diagnosis. In hindsight, I think it had to do with a certain intense but glazed look with hunched shoulders, which made me look like a repressed serial killer or something ready to explode (as per the stereotypical ignorant perception of such a demeanour).

I suppose my tendency to respond by looking away (avoiding eye contact) and saying in a low monotone "no, I'm not angry" probably didn't help things. :o

Things got better though when I took drama lessons at 16 and watched several movies - I was on to something even before my diagnosis. I remember telling my stepmom when she called me on an "anger" look that I responded "well, in future I'll just tell people in advance that I sometimes appear angry when I'm not" - she accused me of being sarcastic, but I was dead-effin serious 8O



little_blue_jay
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25 Sep 2014, 8:00 pm

I've had people over the years tell me stuff like "Smile!" which only pizzes me off, even if I wasn't pizzed off to begin with, because I just want to say something snarky like "I'll smile when I have a good reason to!" :lol: I can't help it that if I'm thinking hard about something and I don't realize what my face looks like, that I look like I'm sour even if I'm really not! :? :lol: I feel like saying "Don't tell me what expression to have on my face, I don't go around telling you and everyone else what their faces should look like!" :x


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"Everyone inside the circle is normal. Everyone outside the circle should be beaten, broken, and reset, so they can be brought inside the circle. Failing that, they should be institutionalized, or worse, pitied. Why would you feel sorry for someone who gets to opt out of the inane courteous formalities, which are utterly meaningless, insincere, and therefore degrading? Can you imagine how liberating it would be to live a life free of all the mind-numbing social niceties? I don't pity this kid. I envy him." Dr. Gregory House, speaking of a boy with autism, House M.D.


Raleigh
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25 Sep 2014, 8:06 pm

People either think I'm

a) upset when I'm not
b) calm when I am most definitely not

At other times people have observed that I look stoned 8O

When they think I look angry they're normally spot on


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LokiofSassgard
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25 Sep 2014, 8:07 pm

Sometimes. I've also noticed when I look at myself in the mirror, that I have this angry look on my face. D: I always thought it was just me though. I had no idea it was an autism thing. O_O


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neobluex
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25 Sep 2014, 8:14 pm

Yes.



WeeYank
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25 Sep 2014, 8:33 pm

little_blue_jay wrote:
I've had people over the years tell me stuff like "Smile!" which only pizzes me off, even if I wasn't pizzed off to begin with, because I just want to say something snarky like "I'll smile when I have a good reason to!" x


Me too! I cannot fake a smile; besides people who walk around smiling for no apparent reason look creepy.


I often squint which is frequently mistaken for a scowl of anger.


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chris500
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25 Sep 2014, 8:44 pm

people say I look sad



little_blue_jay
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25 Sep 2014, 8:50 pm

chris500 wrote:
people say I look sad


I've gotten that the odd time too!
I feel like saying "I"m not sad, I"m tired! I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, bonehead!"


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Diagnosed "Asperger's to a moderate degree" April 7, 2015.
Aspie score 145 of 200
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AQ score: 47
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"Everyone inside the circle is normal. Everyone outside the circle should be beaten, broken, and reset, so they can be brought inside the circle. Failing that, they should be institutionalized, or worse, pitied. Why would you feel sorry for someone who gets to opt out of the inane courteous formalities, which are utterly meaningless, insincere, and therefore degrading? Can you imagine how liberating it would be to live a life free of all the mind-numbing social niceties? I don't pity this kid. I envy him." Dr. Gregory House, speaking of a boy with autism, House M.D.


animaster
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25 Sep 2014, 9:06 pm

Yes, I am constantly told that I am upset or angry. Whenever I respond, my voice seems to confirm their suspicions, but I'm not upset. If I am upset, I don't realize it.

And a lot of people in my freshman class think I am perpetually stoned. They ask me for weed. When I say I don't have any, they either assume that I am lying or that I'm on something a bit harder.

People also think I am cool and collected when I'm not. This is early in the school year, but a lot of people think I'm a natural leader because of that when being forced to lead a group I am filled with a lot of anxiety.



ajpd1989
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25 Sep 2014, 9:13 pm

Not angry, but people often think I look sad/depressed.
Nope, it's just my 'neutral' expression which rarely changes.



FireyInspiration
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25 Sep 2014, 9:25 pm

Pretty often



Lumi
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25 Sep 2014, 9:35 pm

Several who did not understand my expressions.


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L_Holmes
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25 Sep 2014, 9:38 pm

I've had people say, "What's wrong?" when nothing is. And then when I am right on the verge of having a meltdown but barely holding together, I apparently look pretty calm, as no one ever says anything then. My brother also one time thought I was angry when I wasn't, I was apparently glaring at the TV while watching Finding Nemo which I was not aware of.

It doesn't happen too often, but it does occasionally.


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Narrator
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25 Sep 2014, 9:44 pm

Occasionally they say I look angry, when I'm not. More often they say I look sad. Perhaps it's because, when around people, I've often got this unconscious half smile thing going on and when it's not there they think I'm sad.


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olympiadis
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25 Sep 2014, 9:48 pm

Yes. Sometimes I just say "this is my happy face."

I have noticed that NTs generally behave as if they are performing for a camera, and so they are conditioned to emote in certain ways almost all of the time.