Why do some people pick on strangers?

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Joe90
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28 Sep 2014, 2:41 pm

I've had random strangers I have never seen before, making it obvious that they are laughing at me, and I've had people staring at me for no reason (I could tell they were staring by sensing it and seeing in my periphery). I don't know how people have the guts to just stare at a stranger for ages. I always thought it was socially considered rude to stare at people. But anyway, yes, I look, act and dress normal, if I didn't then I wouldn't be this self-conscious or this aware of what's going on around me, and plus I ENJOY conforming and blending in, so there.

But I don't see why people would pick on a random stranger for no reason. Usually the feedback I get when I tell people is ''people who feel insecure about themselves like to harass others to make themselves feel better''.

I don't know if that's just a common cliche just to give me peace of mind when I'm out, or if it's really true or not. I used to feel very insecure about myself, but harassing other people would not make me feel any better about myself. Smiling at those that look vulnerable or nervous has always made me feel good, and holding doors open for people, particularly elderly people and disabled people, and doing other kind gestures to people who look quite vulnerable were things that made me feel better about myself. I thought one of the hidden social things would be to ''make others smile, you make yourself smile''.

I'd thought NTs would know better, but here I am on the spectrum talking about this and I bet other Aspies here will know what I'm talking about right away. Thankfully I'm not talking about ALL NTs, since there are some generous NTs out there, and those are the ones I hang about with. But I'm just talking about all those random strangers me and you have had point and stare and laugh in the past. They should grow up and get a life, and they say that people on the spectrum are immature.


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kraftiekortie
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28 Sep 2014, 2:58 pm

Hi Joe90

Yes, what was stated is a common cliche--but I have found that it's frequently true. People do have their own problems--and might be taking them out on you. Or: they might not even notice that they're staring.

I just don't let schmucks aggravate me ("schmuck" is a yiddish term for a certain part of the male anatomy, frequently used amongst Jewish people, and among many non-Jewish people in the Northeastern cities of the US). It is often used as a dismissive term--as in "he was just a schmuck--don't let him bother you."

I hope things are going well with your boyfriend.



olympiadis
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28 Sep 2014, 8:29 pm

Shadenfreude

They actually experience pleasure from performing those behaviors due to a chemical reward pathway in the brain that is triggered subconsciously.

When I was a kid I tried to get this reward for myself several times, but it was a failure.



jk1
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29 Sep 2014, 12:08 am

When a good person senses vulnerability in someone, they will want to be kind and protective. When a nasty person senses vulnerability in someone, they will want to bully them. You (like me) must be sending off some vulnerable vibes, which can be picked up by nasty people. You are not doing anything wrong, but predators (nasty people) are merciless.