Deliberately Avoiding Contact with Others

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crystalc1973
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28 Sep 2014, 1:27 pm

Do you find that if you have a choice, you simply go out of your way to avoid running into other people? If you must be in a situation where it's possible you will see someone else, do you find yourself rehearsing in your head what might happen and what you might say? Example; I live in a house split up into apartments, there is a line outback where everyone hangs their laundry to dry, as we don't use dryers in Jamaica. I am the only white person living here, so I do draw some stares to begin with, but I find that if I hear people outside in the backyard I will not go to pick up my laundry until it seems quiet and there is no one around. I don't want them to stare at me, and some of them do just that, they don't say anything, just look at me like I landed in a UFO or something. Two little kids here are even terrified of me and act like I'm the big bad wolf when they see me! I have left my clothes to get rained on before simply because I did not want to go around there and have people act strangely to me. Whenever I do run into people and they are not friendly, I always over-analyze the situation and try to determine why, which I know is silly and futile but I tend to do it anyhow. Can anyone relate to avoiding people for no reason other than the fear of whatever possible outcome may result from your contact with them?


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QuiversWhiskers
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28 Sep 2014, 1:37 pm

Yes, oh, yes, but not so much anymore.



starkid
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28 Sep 2014, 2:05 pm

Yes, definitely. It's as if people are ALWAYS expecting me to look or act differently than I do. And they sometimes want to chat, which makes the situation more akward because

A. I never want to chat
B. I have difficulty speaking loudly enough and have to repeat myself
C. I know they get confused or weired out because I don't look at them
D. they assume stuff that's not true, ask me about it, then I have to make a big explanation to correct them and it tires me out



catalina
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28 Sep 2014, 2:13 pm

have you consider changing out of there? i mean, if people aren´t hospitable and make you feel uncomfortable, maybe you could find a better place. If it is not possible, try to ignore them, listen music with earphones.



babyheart
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28 Sep 2014, 3:37 pm

Yes. I like Catalina's suggestion. Stick on some headphones and pretend you didn't hear/notice anyone. Btw, I dry my clothes inside on a retractable washing line over the upstairs banister.


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Raleigh
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28 Sep 2014, 3:41 pm

Your 'hanging the washing on the line' scenario made me smile because I'm exactly the same. I ended up getting my SO to install a folding washing line in our outdoor area so I can avoid the attention of the neighbours.


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ASPartOfMe
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28 Sep 2014, 4:31 pm

I might see somebody I know in a neighborhood store and just don't feel like chit chatting with them or I am buying item I do not want them to see, so I try to wait until they leave the store.


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Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 29 Sep 2014, 3:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

babyheart
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28 Sep 2014, 4:32 pm

^ Wow! :D

Edit: My wow was to Raleigh


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Last edited by babyheart on 28 Sep 2014, 7:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

mr_bigmouth_502
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28 Sep 2014, 5:52 pm

I do this a lot, and I feel kind of terrible for it. Give me a basement, and a computer with internet access, and you can guarantee that I'll waste hours there, browsing and posting on forums, while ingesting copious amounts of pop, coffee, and chips. I feel quite uncomfortable when there are lots of other people around, especially if they're moving around and doing things. I often feel like I'm getting in the way or being a nuisance when I'm around them, and when I'm not around them I feel like they're expecting me to be up there with them socializing or helping them with things. I like it when I have the house to myself, since I can do whatever and not feel self-conscious about it.



L_Holmes
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28 Sep 2014, 5:56 pm

I do that in the store, I will wait to get my stuff in a certain aisle if there are others in the aisle. I don't like when they are there, I always feel like they are watching me and I don't like it.


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NicholasName
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28 Sep 2014, 6:13 pm

I do that quite a lot. I'd rather be inconvenienced by having to wait for people to leave than harassed/stared at/bullied if I go when they're there!

In supermarkets, I avoid aisles with people in them for an entirely different reason: I'm downright dangerous with a shopping cart and don't want to injure anyone. :oops: :lol:


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justkillingtime
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28 Sep 2014, 7:00 pm

I was in a big grocery store. In an aisle that was empty of people except me a rat ran across. i thought "I know how you feel", avoiding people.


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Dillogic
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28 Sep 2014, 7:02 pm

Well yeah, it's the choice I make, and it's a perfectly valid and reasonable one, no matter an ASD or not.



MjrMajorMajor
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28 Sep 2014, 7:44 pm

I go into hermit mode, where I don't want to see/talk to anyone, or even anyone to look at me. I'm okay after some downtime.



jrjones9933
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28 Sep 2014, 9:16 pm

If I feel good, I'll just let 'em stare. I can't stand that feeling, though, when I get depressed or anxious. I do what I have to do, and get away. I hardly ever felt it in the city like I do here in the sticks.



babyheart
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28 Sep 2014, 9:52 pm

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
I go into hermit mode, where I don't want to see/talk to anyone, or even anyone to look at me. I'm okay after some downtime.

Me too! I don't even answer phone/door but I do tell my family and best friend that, 'I want a few days off.' I used to just avoid everyone but it lead them to think I'm lying dead inside my house.


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