I'm a domestic failure

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Now I'm on holidays I can't help but be confronted with the state of my house and how incompetent I am as a housewife:
1) There are vegetables in my fridge that I fully intended to eat that have now moved on to another life.
2) I picked some strawberries from the garden and left them on the bench where they turned into a primordial soup (really, there were new life forms coming out of there)
3) My washing has been on the line for days and has had a few extra rinses courtesy of the rain.
4) The level of dust is epic.
5) I actually can't remember the last time I cleaned the bath. Should there be things growing in there?
Is this what they call executive functioning deficits? Whenever I go somewhere else I'm always critical of the cleanliness and order yet my own home is a disaster.
I don't know why it's so difficult, but it is. I don't know where to start. I can't organise myself. It's hit and miss - mostly miss. Does anyone have any suggestions how I can become more competent and (maybe - not likely) become a domestic goddess?

I wish I could help you. I am having the same issues. It's awful and my father in law is coming to spend the night in a few days and I'm in a panic over cleaning up the house so it actually looks liveable and I hate the mess myself too so it's driving ME insane!

I wouldn't define incompetence as leaving stale vegetables in the fridge, but hey, if it worries you, draw up the following domestic chores list that you robotically check each morning after you dress and have breakfast:
1) Wash dishes
2) Clean kitchen bench top
3) Dust around furniture and windows
4) Make up beds and change dirty linen
5) Take any washing out and hang up on the line
6) Check refrigerator for state of food and remove any stale vegetables
6) Check bathroom for mould
9) Vacuum carpets once a week
10) Bring the washing in off the line in the afternoon

Attach the domestic chores list to the refrigerator door so that whenever you go to the frig you are reminded what you need to do. You could also set up reminders on your mobile phone calendar to trig your memory that you have chores to do.

Can't we just blame it on the ASD?
It's times like this I wish I was more OCD.

I need to dress and have breakfast as well??

Sorry. Thanks for the list. It will give me somewhere to start. I know I've made lists like this before which I've conveniently screened out after a few days. The trouble is I know I have to do things like dust, but I really need a step-by-step list how to do it properly or I can't start. My SO does this for me sometimes and it's a big help.
The mobile phone idea is a good one.

I guess I should be glad I'm homeless - no dishes to wash, no living room to sweep, no curtains to dust and no lawn to mow.

{{{hugs}}}
I just realised how insignificant my problems are. Thank you for that. May today be your 'one day'.

Yup, I'm the exact same way. Simple chores take me forever. I always get distracted by something random and then forget everything else. Making lists on my own can be overwhelming unless I really have a lot of energy and am in the right state of mind. I need every step of every chore laid out in front of me because my short-term memory is quite poor.

That's exactly why there is no way I could manage kids. How other people like us manage having children is absolutely daunting to me and I'm always curious to hear about it.

I have two children who turned out amazingly well - one AS, one NT - I think because I neglected the housework and focused on the kids instead. Loved playing with them, reading stories, sewing clothes for them, making toys, building cubby houses and swing sets etc. I let the house fall apart and don't remember the kids ever complaining - unless they couldn't find their socks or anything clean to wear.

Hmm, what about the feeding, cleaning them, changing their diapers when they were younger, buying them the stuff to read, gathering the materials for toys, etc.? Just the cooking I find really difficult as there are a lot of steps involved, including getting the ingredients. Also, there's getting them organized for school, doing forms and going to meetings for school, keeping track of their health, etc. Seems pretty crazy to me on top of taking care of yourself.

As far as cleaning the bath goes, I find that it helps me to clean it before I get in it not after I done. I am get undressed, clean the tub and then take a shower. It stays much cleaner that way. And it's clean for me ever single time I get in it.

Yes, I guess it was pretty chaotic now I think of it:
Feeding - always tried to cook something for dinner, otherwise 'catch and kill' was the general way of things. The kids learnt to fend for themselves pretty quickly.
Changing nappies - when they smell you change them.
Cleaning of children - hmmm. I tried.
Materials for toys - mostly stuff lying around. Cardboard boxes for castles or car-parks. Painted roads on an old sheet for my son to use with his cars. Old tyres and ropes for obstacle course, digging in the garden and making mud pies etc.
Reading books - They brought them home from school. The neighbours had kids slightly older than mine and they would give us used books.
School - by school they could pretty much organise themselves. They had to. I never went to school meetings. I'm not too bad at filling out forms.
I guess I would have been considered a bad parent by other parents. I don't really care because I'm proud of my kids and we have a great relationship. Not every parent can say that.

With kids it's all about the love and it sounds like you had a lot of it Raleigh. I am sure those old painted sheets, cardboard boxes, used books and mud pies mean more to them than you could ever know. Those are the memories the will cherish. And that makes you a wonderful parent.

Aww, thank you. They were the best days - I hope the kids think so too. Makes me sad when I see kids who do nothing but watch TV or play games all day which seems to be the norm now.
Thanks for your tip on the bath too. Cleaning the bath is my least favourite job.

Hi fellow housewife

I classify my cleaning shortcomings as executive function deficits, for sure. I have trouble seeing the steps in the right order and often start one thing but then get distracted by another. I think I'm going to make a visual flip book for each chore I want to do. Put that flip book on a key ring or something and carry it around with me while I do it. Now, to get the EF up enough to do that whole shebang. *sigh*

I often ask my husband if he minds how crappy of a housewife I am. His answers always surprise me. He says I do a great job greeting him with warmth (in my own way lol), making little crafty items around the house, dancing with happiness...

The things I think he cares about (clean laundry, perfect dinners) he really doesn't care. He said he can do those things if they're so important to him. What he can't do is give himself the love I give him.

This is hard to put into words and it's late- hope that made sense