Random people being kind-fixations afterward?

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LtlPinkCoupe
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02 Oct 2014, 10:29 pm

Has anyone ever had this happen to them - like when they were little kids? It's one of those things where it's all awkward and "why are they doing this they don't even know me" at first, but when it's all over (or maybe some time after the event) you're glad it happened.

One time when I was about 5 and a half, my special ed kindergarten class went to a local indie theater to see a musical, family-friendly (cuz a lot of the different adaptations I've seen of the story in later years tend to be scary af 8O) version of A Christmas Carol. After the performance, some of the actors were milling around the audience and chatting people up, answering questions and visiting with family members and stuff, and my class was lining up to go home. I had my favorite little pink zip-up jacket on, and my teacher said cheerfully, "Better zip up that little pink jacket, Coupe, it's cold outside!" So, I tried to do so, but the zipper was stuck, and wouldn't zip properly. I was kind of vulnerable to begin with (for some reason I freaked out when we went on field trips, even if it was to places I liked, such as the zoo, simply because it was a change in routine) that particular day, and started crying and berating myself, calling myself a numbskull (I have no idea where I got that from) and was well on my way to a lite meltdown when the actor who was Scrooge in the play scooped me up in his arms, gave me a big hug, and murmured, "Oh, sweetie, you are NOT a numbskull." I just remember being surprised that this guy just started comforting me out of nowhere. I don't know if it was because the actors had been briefed that a special ed group was coming or if Scrooge just didn't want to see a little kid cry. I was so taken aback, I think, that I completely forgot to cry and have a meltdown, and just enjoyed the hug (I liked being held gently yet securely when I was upset as a kid - I still like that, but I'm too big for it now :?).

If I recall correctly, the event sort of gave way to something of a fixation with "Scrooge" (which I've heard can happen with AS) and I remember asking my parents and teachers over and over again, "Do you know where Scrooge lives?" "Does he live close by?" "Can we go to Scrooge's house?" "Can you drop me off at his house so we can play?" People who overheard my requests must have been very confused, because in the play, Scrooge lived somewhere in the UK and wasn't normally the type of character one associates with warmth, nurturing and young children. :lol: All I wanted to do was thank him for being so kind to me, what can I say? :roll:

But, yeah....has anything like that ever happened to anyone here?


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Kiprobalhato
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03 Oct 2014, 12:30 am

thanks for sharing your story. 8)

i get some rather strong fixations on people who preform random acts of kindness for me too, cannot remember any specific ones right now but usually they fade after a few days. i just feel struck why anyone would do that, especially if they sense i am upset and i believe i'm putting them off with my demeanor, or aura.


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bungleton
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03 Oct 2014, 2:33 am

Yes. Mainly girls. :lol:

A good example of this being this New Years' Eve, where a friend gave me a cuddle because I was cold (it started raining and I was ill-prepared being the middle of summer.)
I pretty much fell in love with her right there and then.
In my defence, it was like a half-hour long cuddle and she's pretty damn cute. Thankfully we're still on good terms, though we broke contact for about 3 months when she told me she wasn't interested. When I got back in touch with her she accepted my apology and we've gone out for dinner to talk it over. I'm looking forward to explaining why I'm so clueless in that regard, I think she'll get a kick out of it.

I had previously had pretty much the same thing happen with another girl about 8 months prior; when she said she wasn't interested I replied with something witty along the lines of, 'so, are we gonna f**k now or what?'
I explained later, before deleting her number etc so I wouldn't try and contact her again, that I sometimes say terrible things like that when I am overwhelmed by emotion. She didn't appreciate this, which is understandable. One key thing she said, which was part of a cascade of information pointing towards ASD/AS for me, was 'You mustn't be very good at reading body language because...'
I saw her down the street about 6 months later as I was sitting in a car cramming an ice-cream into my face. Very dignified. She gave me the finger. I thought that fair enough. If I ever do see her again, I'll thank her (from a safe distance so she doesn't claw my eyes out,) because that statement about not being able to read body language was crucial for me once I started to put other pieces together like my tendancy to make weird grimacing facial expressions when stressed and the hand wringing, the constant movement, rocking etc...

TL;DR, YES!! Yes, I develop fixations on people, particularly women, who are nice to me.
EDIT: Also, at least this shows I am learning. After the fiasco with the girl mentioned above I resolved not to destroy any more friendships just because they weren't interested in me romantically. I'm getting... Slightly... Better. Though I am still fixated on a girl at the moment, but that to me seems to be because of a genuine and mutual understanding of each others' perceptions. This is causing a bit of confusion but *shrug* what can I do but just be her friend. Better to have a friend who understands me right?


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