RANT! untractable bipolar and AS is VERY bad combination.

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So basically I HATE CHANGES. and have LOTS of it in my life. Being forced to move to different towns and schools and COUNTRIES (forced by my parents) all happend and werecked me completely.

But what's the ULTIMATE change? everchanging mood and personality! I have bipolar and nothing in common with my "yesterday-fucking-self"! (manic right now)

Dude I hate changes. And my mood changes so much and so rapidly I can't even form an image of my self and my interests and anything. this sucks BIG TIME.

I think having bipolar + AS is the worst thing possible (at least for me). If I had just depression or some f*****g personality disorder I at least be the same person all the f*****g time and could have some peace of mind but NO I have to change all the time. screw this I'm going to take all mood stabilizers that exist in combination. already on Zyprexa which doesn't do s**t for me. even just took some extra Zyprexa PRN. no difference at all. Took all of them one at a time so I think I maybe should take 2 or 3 at a time......

screw it. I'm just wondering why on hell I'm not suicidal. I have all reason to be....maybe that's not programmed in my god damn brain just like most of regular human behaviour. (sort of thank god)

Wow. I dunno what to say.
At least you're coherent and passionate =)

Omid,

So, even with the hyperreflexivity some researchers said you exhibited, your schizophrenia diagnosis was changed to bipolar disorder?

I was diagnosd as followed:
1. doc: Asperger's and bipolar (this doc was a college of simon baron cohen and is now the head of a researche team on autism in some very high profile researche center)
2. some doc: bipolar
3. doc: diagnosis desn't matter
4. doc after a 40 min interview: undifferenciated Schizophrenia (one reason being that I somehow told something that made her believe I'm saying that I'm a high profile inventor. I said I have ideas and maybe I should patent them)
5. docs Narcissistic and schizoid personality disorder and they insisted the it is absolutely nothing else. totally no AS no bipolar and no schizophrenia in particular. the hospital was very clear about it and they were very upset about me believing I have aspergers or schizophrenia and actually verbaly and psychologically abused me for that reason.
6. docS: undifferentiated schizophrenia because of hyperreflexivity. Put me on Clozaril and it basically did absoiutely nothing, even no side effects)
7. doc just looked at my schizoprenia diagnosis and would in no way doubt it without even asking me about my symptoms.
8. docS: we don't know what you have but it's not AS.
9. doc: he sais: "I have never seen you psychotic, but those reports say you are psychotic and they who wrote them are the ones with the doctor title" (literally)

I just have free choice and I choose that the first doc was right. makes better sense than the others.

I see. You've been moved along to a lot of doctors. I have had similar issues.