Meltdown of sort. :-(

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My mom just had her 50th Birthday party yesterday. I was kept out of the loop so just found out that day it was at a local place with 18+ people!! ! 10 is family family IMO = fine but the other 8+ were strangers to me. I tried to compose myself in the shower before I left but didn't. When we got there there were papers with 3 menu items WHAT?! I was told this was so they didn't have to cook so many different things. I started crying then walked outside in tears. WAY too many people were coming! I decided to compose myself and went to the bar. Mom's friend Robin was there (bar was crowded with people). She say hi I broke down again and went outside to compose myself. a 4th time going back in worked (original 2 breakdown 3 breakdown 4 successful). The bar was empty YA! I don't know what a bar has outside of fiction so I looked at a menu and got an ICKY red wine! It calmed my nerves enough to where I could join the party quietly. Food came fine. Started reading a book on violent crime someone asked what I was reading and as always people are tossed aback when you mention the C word. LOL! Had a second glass with dinner meal was fine cake fine.

I just HATE I have to have a glass of wine or some form of alcohol to handle being around people!! !! It didn't help NO ONE let me know on the plans! Decorating (which I assumed = decorating my sisters house) turned into go the the restaurant and decorate it. Tables with people NO! One of those back in the back "party rooms" UGH!

AWFUL EXPERIENCE (Food not withstanding.) Luckily I don't have to be around people in a social capacity much. Any tips for the future outside of have alcohol before hand??? And no I didn't have anyone to socialize with games/crime my interest so that didn't help people sounded like wa wa wa from Charlie Brown!! !!

That sounds awful. I just outright refuse to go to such things and people have to deal with me not going, because if I did go, I would be screaming and trashing the place.