Are you too trusting of others? I sure am

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I'm mostly posting this because I just need to rant. I'm pretty angry, because 1.5 months ago I bought a used car, and now it is too much to be worth fixing. I researched the model and found lots of good reviews, especially about the motor and how long it lasts. The people at the dealership told me it ran really well, pointed out some of the things wrong with (but not all), and it seemed like it was a good deal. I even had some co-workers who used to work as mechanics look it over and they told me it looked really good.

Well as it turns out, even though I changed the oil and filter as soon as I bought it, the idiot who used to own it probably only changed the oil a few times, definitely not every 3000 miles like you are supposed to. I guess the damage was already done, because after it stalled last week, my grandpa and I towed it to a shop, and the mechanic says it's not worth fixing because it needs an entirely new motor. Now I still owe $2500 on it and it's basically worthless. I'd probably be lucky to get anything close to $1000 for it, the necessary repairs would be 3 or 4 thousand alone.

I just don't understand why someone would knowingly sell something that they knew wasn't going to work. They could have fixed it and then sold it, but it looks like they literally just turned around and sold exactly what they got for like $3000 more than it was worth.

I thought I would have learned not to trust people after somebody tricked me and basically stole almost $100 from me in Salt Lake City, but I keep assuming that people tell the truth. This is why people keep taking advantage of me, and I'm sick of it. It makes me want to just go live alone in the woods.

I'm not sure what the laws are where you are, but shouldn't there be some sort of buyer protection for you?
I'd be tempted to tow it back to them and leave it right in front of their doors...

Then you would responsible for abandoning your vehicle on the road and probably have to pay a fine. There is no simple way to retaliate for a thing like this.

I am often too trusting of other people, so I tend to trust no one, if that makes any sense.

Car dealers are notorious liars. They are incentivized to deceive. The best thing you can do when you go in for something like that is to hire an outside expert opinion, for example a mechanic, and have that person check out the car before you buy.

Sadly yes. Tempting, but in no way a good course of action...

It's actions like this, that the used car lot did, that make me very untrusting. I have bad trust issues, and yet I still find myself trusting people. People that should be trustworthy, like doctors or cops... but all humans are fallible.

I am going to dread getting a new car when the time comes because I don't think I could afford a brand new car and I am too leery of getting a used car fearing of getting ripped off. A friend told me you should always take it to the mechanic first before buying it and ask for papers on it to show it has been taken in and what needs to be done or what work had been done on it. But this is pretty hard to do when you get nervous in these situations.

Yes, I hated the whole experience of looking for a car, so part of my mistake was that I rushed to get it over with. I did have the thought of taking it to a mechanic, but I didn't have the extra money at the time, and I was staying to get really anxious about it. And it was hard for me to think of all the things I should check and ask the dealer for in writing and such. The biggest reason I was anxious is because my grandpa told me that he wanted me out in a month, with an apartment and car and everything, and that made everything that much harder.

The annoying thing is that as soon as I tell my grandpa about this, which I will have to because I will need to borrow his vehicle now, I know he is going to tell me, "So what did you learn from this experience? Maybe you should have taken my advice and not bought the first thing you saw."

No, maybe I shouldn't have come to live here in the first place. The only reason I started looking at cars was because I had to have one in less than a month or I'd be homeless and without even a car, which would make me jobless as well. In fact, right after buying the car he kicked me out, and I had to sleep in it for over a week before they told me that I could come back, presumably because they felt obligated as they never apologized for what they did that made me have a meltdown in the first place. I freaking hate living here.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Do you know anybody who is a mechanic? Maybe he/she could fix it so it runs for at least a few months.

Next time, I'd go to an auction, take down the VIN number of the car, and research it using the VIN on Carfax. This is especially useful if you have a phone or tablet with at least 3G (I wouldn't imagine that car dealerships have free WiFi).

Yep...your grandfather is probably going to say what you think he's going to say. It's true, it's a "life lesson." Everybody struggles in life at first, even the most NT of NT's (unless they have a rich family or something---even then, one is not immune from having problems).

Thing is, I knew at the time that buying a car without being cautious was a bad choice, but I felt didn't have an option, because I was getting kicked out in less than a month (which in reality ended up being only a couple days, all because I had a problem with my grandpa grabbing me by the neck and ramming me into a closet; not to mention the fact that a large portion of my family heard what was going on but didn't see it, and now they think I'm a psycho because of how badly I freaked out).

Now I'm gonna be stuck here even longer, because now I have to pay another $2500 for a piece of junk, plus added costs for labor that helped me to find out it was a piece of junk, and the now useless insurance costs that are due.

And as the nice little cherry on top of this exciting fun-filled adventure, I get to hear all about this "lesson" from everyone who thinks they know better than me just because they have more years of life, living as themselves, not me. Because obviously I'm too stupid to figure out that buying that car was a bad decision at this point, and need a "mature adult" to inform me. Never mind the fact that a "mature adult" was the one who all but forced me to get one in the first place.

I didn't have the time or money to be taking car after car to a mechanic trying to find one that was actually worth what they were selling it for, I had to find the one that looked like the best option, and then pray it was. I still had to find an apartment as well, not to mention buy everything else I'd need to live on my own, and do it all with a little over a thousand dollars to my name.

(Sorry kraftiekortie, I'm not trying to sound like I am disregarding your advice. I'm just extremely frustrated, and angry at my "family" for how they think I deserve to be treated in situations like this. I'm getting really sick of my life being failure after failure, and all anyone that knows me does to help is say, "Told you so.")

It seems when it comes to cars lots of people get ripped off either buying them or getting them fixed.

I'm very leery of people. When I'm in a situation where I need to trust someone, I always ask my dad or cousin to look into it for me.

I have this constant vigilance about me. I find it very hard to know who to trust and who not to trust. I decide to keep my distance until I feel I can trust someone.

I am too trusting at times which has gotten me into trouble various times but other times I'm very skeptical & may seem like a hardass or paranoid.

It seems I am. I try to speak out to help others, and get my past used to intimidate me to prove I'm a victim player. I don't know why I try anymore. I can't understand how a victim of bullying and harassment is a victim player. I am a victim, I didn't do anything wrong I just existed. How can the actions of others be my fault?

I would get a second and more practical opinion.

Also, depending on what type of internal part failure it was, it is not reasonable to expect anyone to have been able to predict the failure. Not even mechanics can see the conditions inside an engine. They are challenged enough just trouble-shooting after the parts failure to figure out what happened.

Additionally, do not discount the option of purchasing another engine and having it installed. A good mechanic may be able to source one for you. Talk to some more people, unless you are resigned to dumping the problem and starting over.

It wasn't only the motor, but that was the main thing. The cradle under the motor was also banged up pretty badly from the previous owner, which I did know about, but that wasn't really a big deal. It didn't actually damage anything else badly, but it did crack a lot of plastic on the radiator (which still works) and bent some other metal pieces that would need replacement if the motor is to be replaced, as they wouldn't fit, which means that whole cradle needs to be fixed too. So it would seem that half of the things under the hood need replacement, not to mention the tires (which I also knew about, but I didn't figure that would be too difficult to do alone. Now it's just another added cost.)

Perhaps it is still worth fixing, but I still think I was ripped off considering the visible damage already done. They should have probably at least replaced that cracked up radiator, or else sold it at a cheaper price, but since it seemed to be all in working order regardless I took it. I also think it is extremely annoying that my grandparents immediately think to say, "You should have taken it to a mechanic." Especially when, like you say, it isn't entirely likely that a mechanic would have figured that out. From what I gather, the mechanic who called me about it today had to basically take the engine apart to figure it out.

Even if it is worth fixing though, I don't really know where I'll get the money for it. I still have to pay off $2500. The total repair along with that and the other things I owe (like the credit card charges I have from when I was living in the car) totals to at least $5000-$6000. Luckily I just got a new job with slightly better pay, but even with that it will probably take a while. Especially because my grandpa keeps telling me he still wants me to find my own apartment. If they didn't want me here, I don't understand why they offered.

I never asked them to come here. I barely survived in my college dorm, and my dad was telling me he didn't want me coming back, that I just needed to get an apartment and get a full-time job there instead. I was trying to explain that I wasn't ready for that, because after my experience at college I felt like I was literally going insane, but he was telling me I was just making excuses. I tried talking to my older brother about it, but he did the exact same thing, and then started ignoring me. Then my grandma offered out of the blue, and that seemed better than dying on the streets, so I took the offer, but I never felt welcome here. Turns out, their offer was really so that I could come here and be "straightened out" by them. I hate it here, and I wish I had a way to get to my sister's, but that way was my car, which is now unfit to drive

Hey Man.

I read you. Your situation sucks right now.

But it's not failure after failure. You've just turned 19. You have a LONG LONG life to live. Do you happen to know any mechanics? Maybe, like Olympiadis stated, you could get a "second opinion." Maybe this mechanic might know where to get a motor in a junkyard (many people, it so happens, successfully obtain auto parts in junkyards--but don't do it without knowledge of it--mechanics frequently have that knowledge)

But in most cases, I would just chalk it up to experience. I'd move on. It's not a "failure;" a better word would be a "mistake." I'm not merely talking semantics--I'm talking fact.

It's inevitable that you'll have to learn lessons in life; that's what life is all about. "I told you so" sucks to the hilt! I know that!

Your grandfather did an inferior thing by taking you by the neck. In some aspects, he hasn't learned from life-experience. I think you do have the presence of mind to learn from life-experience, however.

To tell you the truth, at age 19, I wasn't great at taking advice. To a certain extent, I'm still pretty stubborn.

But I believe what I stated will resonate when you're ready, if you're not ready already.

Think of it this way: this is how Wisdom is acquired. This is how you become respected in the world. You could tell this story to future 19-year-olds who will inevitably make the same mistake. You've earned some stripes in the "school of hard knocks." You could tell this story to your buddies. Your buddies will probably have similar stories. That's how friends are made in many cases: through shared hard experience.

It's going to be difficult. But you will prevail. You're a smart guy. I see that you've had some college already. I'd pursue that avenue.

Thanks. I know that it is something I can and will learn from.

Really, I think most of the reason I am angry is actually because of the way I am treated by people like my grandparents when things like this happen, rather than the event itself. I'm sick of them acting like they are done learning and now it is their job to make me learn their lessons. They don't apply to me, I am not them. It seems obvious but they seem to assume I am exactly as they were at my age. It is seriously frustrating.

But I will call the mechanic and ask about those options and see what he says. Hopefully this will not turn out as bad as it could.