Most frustrating thing about having autism...

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kirayng
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25 Oct 2014, 4:12 pm

To me, the most frustrating thing about having autism is the fact that I have certain qualities that I can't seem to fully develop to be successful in life. How many of you are possibly gifted, have a talent or have a lot of knowledge on a topic, that you also can't do anything practical in life to make money with it? I mean, I love that I can do some things very well though I feel like society only values what you can sell.... rather than create enough art to be materially successful, I settle for indulging whatever whim strikes me and my work at those times is exceptional. I am not being a braggart. Okay that aside, I would like to know if anyone else goes through this.

I am aware that to be a "professional" anything requires daily practice and rigor. I am not saying I lack the discipline, I just have a hard time with motivation to do something I find very energizing and fulfilling when it comes up from my passion for art, when I won't get that feeling, I will just be say drawing a face 100 times to get the proportion right or whatever professional artists do on a daily basis.

The other aspect of this is I'm really good with pastry and baking yet have not been able to land a job in a bakery though I also haven't applied to many due to a lack of confidence having zero working experience (only classes) in baking.

Also would like to hear from people if they've overcome their "delivery shortcomings" to be able to profit or enhance the lives of others with their art, talent or skill.



kirayng
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25 Oct 2014, 4:26 pm

Also executive function issues when trying to pursue interests, etc. are frustrating.

Okay there is a thread just like this. didn't realize it til now. :)



LupaLuna
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25 Oct 2014, 5:10 pm

The fact that NT people see autism as nothing more then an excuse for bad behavior. feeling trapped in your own body/mind. You're screaming in pain and nobody around you can hear you cries for help.



goldfish21
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25 Oct 2014, 5:55 pm

I graduated from business school when I was 19 & then spun my wheels in autistic frustration for more than a decade. It was ridiculously frustrating to know stuff I couldn't apply to create value for myself/others.

Then I met the right people in my life and learned the right things and figured out how to successfully treat my symptoms. I've done so over the last couple of years. I shared it hear on WP, but the thread was recently blackholed because apparently it's taboo to discuss successfully treating your own autism symptoms.

~ 13 months ago my bankruptcy discharged after a failed business partnership & I had a few hundred dollars to my name. I've since been able to work (construction & now service industry) better than I ever have in my life, which has put me up $27K in cash & stocks and I'm going nowhere but Up. 8) Currently saving & investing towards future business plans I intend to make a reality, and now it seems entirely achievable vs. frustratingly impossible.


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LucySnowe
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25 Oct 2014, 6:08 pm

LupaLuna wrote:
The fact that NT people see autism as nothing more then an excuse for bad behavior. feeling trapped in your own body/mind. You're screaming in pain and nobody around you can hear you cries for help.


So true. Or they just see you as an unfriendly jerk--how you are on the surface, rather than actually getting to know why.



B19
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25 Oct 2014, 6:18 pm

The most frustrating thing is the false stereotypes spread by the normocentric population and the largely ignorant media.

The second most frustrating thing, for me, is the tendency in a minority of autistic people and many NTs to describe ASD people as powerless and helpless to make any change or different choices in their lives - as if we lack the capacity to become adults, lacking any ability to be self-determining in our lives.

And the third is the poisonous hate speech about ASD parents and ASD partners - it is vicious and the perpetrators feel so secure in their superiority that they feel perfectly safe to say the foulest things without attracting any censure from their own normocentric population. Their behaviour is as hateful as race hate speech is hateful.

I am not a stereotype.
I am not powerless.
I was not a hopeless parent.

There, I've said it, and got that off my chest...



NiceCupOfTea
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25 Oct 2014, 6:31 pm

I guess you nailed it. Not being able to achieve the basic milestones of life despite normal intelligence and a couple of talents. (Nothing earth-shattering, but something I could probably at least made a living out of, if I'd been so inclined.)

The social side has been incredibly frustrating as well. I managed to make a small number of friends at school, but in general I felt excluded. At family gatherings, my cousins would be talking animatedly with one another, including my brothers if they were there. Any one-to-one conversations I had with them evaporated faster than an ice cube on a hot day. So awkward. And that pattern has generally been repeated throughout my life.



NiceCupOfTea
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25 Oct 2014, 6:35 pm

B19 wrote:
The most frustrating thing is the false stereotypes spread by the normocentric population and the largely ignorant media.

The second most frustrating thing, for me, is the tendency in a minority of autistic people and many NTs to describe ASD people as powerless and helpless to make any change or different choices in their lives - as if we lack the capacity to become adults, lacking any ability to be self-determining in our lives.

And the third is the poisonous hate speech about ASD parents and ASD partners - it is vicious and the perpetrators feel so secure in their superiority that they feel perfectly safe to say the foulest things without attracting any censure from their own normocentric population. Their behaviour is as hateful as race hate speech is hateful.

I am not a stereotype.
I am not powerless.
I was not a hopeless parent.

There, I've said it, and got that off my chest...


You could try telling some here this as well.

Prejudice, stereotypes, and superiority feelings go both ways. Personally none of my problems have stemmed from prejudice against autism, because nobody even knew I had it until 3-4 months ago - including me.



JitakuKeibiinB
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26 Oct 2014, 2:10 am

Lacking the social skills necessary to pass a job interview.



Moviefan2k4
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26 Oct 2014, 5:51 am

I've only known Asperger's was the source of my being so "different" in life for about a year, but the most frustrating thing in total (not just that time) has been struggling to make people believe me about things. I've lost count of how many times I've been unable to understand a phrase or reaction from someone, and they look at me with this incredulous expression. The message comes through loud and clear, every time: "Are you really that dense?"

Now granted, I've had the same reaction to others sometimes...but to the best of my knowledge, none of them were making an honest attempt to understand anything.


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