How do you function in public?

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When I am going out in public I need to create a character for myself in order to interact. I think "for this store trip I will be friendly and approachable" or "I will be more confident seeming and smiley" or any number of things. If I do not think about this first, and get into my "acting mode" I will be caught off guard and likely not able to talk when I would like to. Like.. someone will say hello and i'll say hi but it'll be low and meek and inaudible. Same for if I am in a store and say thank you.

I do the same thing. If I'm just going to the grocery store, I tend to just be myself and if someone talks to me, it's like they doused me in ice water and takes me a minute to react properly. When I'm out and about doing my errands, I'm very goal oriented and focused solely on that goal. Get it done as quick as possible with as little interaction as possible.
But sometimes I'll put on a mask, so to speak, depending on how I want people to react to me. I've done experiments based on clothing and demeanor to see how people react to me and have found I get a lot more respect and attention if I'm dressed nicely, like in business clothes. However, if I'm wearing an old t-shirt and baggy pants with my hair messy, I get dirty looks and the store clerks don't want to deal with me. There is a lot that goes into a persona I put on and it takes a lot out of me, gives me a headache if I'm out for too long. I much prefer just being myself and not interacting unless necessary...

Pretty well...there are some small things I do out of anxiety, in crowds or with people I don't know, or feel comfortable around. I might pick at my fingernails or play with my Tangle toy. Last week I even rocked back and forth a little bit in one of my classes when I got anxious, but I don't think anyone noticed.

I don't like going out in public very often, mostly because it tends to be emotionally exhausting; having to pretend I actually like being around bunches of people, when I really don't. When I do go out, I take a bunch of comfort items with me, like small plushies, my Tangle, my stones, and my favorite hoodie. I like to tie it around my waist when I'm not actually wearing it - it feels like a hug.

In public, I am seen as 9 years old or early teens.

I'm withdrawn, awkward and stim in public. And I don't talk. But I have gotten good at smiling, giving a little wave and saying "hi" to some people who greet me.

Barely. When in public, I go into half-shutdown mode and say as little as possible. People can tell there's something wrong or at least "different" about me, because I go to the same places over and over and I'm always alone. If someone I have to deal with temporarily (like a cashier) is pleasant, I can relax around them a bit, but I'm always on guard. I feel as if I'm in danger and have to get the errand over with ASAP. Every time I leave the house or even my room, there's the risk of hearing or seeing something I don't like or just seeing a person who disturbs me in some way.

Sometimes I'll run into someone I know and act happy to see them, but an act is all it is usually. What I really want to do is get out of there. Rush home and eat and then hide under the covers with my plushie. I wish I could take her everywhere with me, not just in the car, but then people would really look at me weird and scare me even more.

I'm withdrawn but I can interact when I want or need to.

I'm not too bad in public. I am good at hiding my anxiety and will smile and talk when needed. Luckily I never have to go anywhere alone or I might have a tougher time of it as I can usually defer any conversation to the person I'm with so I can stand there trying to be invisible.

I think that this is a sign that you keep a constructed identity (simulation) completely within your conscious thought process.

Please see my "Do you self-reference?" poll and vote.
Thank you

People read me as a nerdy twentysomething, or occasionally as intellectually disabled, especially if I interact with them. As autism becomes more well-known, people are more likely to see that I'm autistic, especially if I'm tired enough that I look like I have ID, but then speak in that very precise, rather wordy way that's easiest for me to use. Many people will guess it at that point; others will default to ID or eccentricity. Occasionally I've been mistaken for being high on something. The stimming can be anywhere from subtle to extremely obvious, and if it happens to be something stereotypically autistic like rocking or flapping, many people will guess. Even five years ago it was unusual for people to guess that I was autistic; nowadays, I'm no longer very surprised when someone recognizes it.

Most people don't seem to mind, though. Maybe I'm not too good at reading their intentions and they're being polite about it, but they don't actively bother me, so I'm content.

It would seem that my identity was then primarily constructed.

Growing up my parents would always try and advise me how to act in different situations. I was an introverted child always compared to others whom were 'cheerful' in comparison. The method of thinking that Scanner describes occupied my mind throughout what would have been a majority of my life. As an example, I remember planning facial expressions and things akin to 'seeming confident and smiley', yet I do not have AS.

So it brings a question to mind:

1. When a person with AS consciously manipulates an identity, how do the behavioural driving mechanisms differ from an NT doing the same? The following statements arise:

a. In my case, I clearly was not constructing an identity to best serve my own current interest, but my parents were 'preparing me' for the future where I would have to present myself in particular ways in order to advance through our modern society. As an example, my future boss will not appreciate me as an employee if I were to completely be myself (my intuitive identity), so it would be in my best interest to pose as a much more, 'cheerful' person. I can see the validity in this, as if I were to be mopey and shut myself off from my co-workers, it would create an unwelcoming environment, which to a society dominated by extrovert mentality (this is very vague terminology) makes them uncomfortable. This is out of my control.

b. It would be expected that a person with AS is less likely (without pressure such as that applied by my parents) to adopt to modern society as they naturally lack social cognition. However ultimately, with the pressure applied, the results are the same. I do not see Aspies as lacking an intuitive identity to begin with, but rather they do not learn to manipulate (construct) that identity as efficiently as an NT due to the cognitive differences. This has both positives and negatives, the positives including a lack of manipulative/deceptive behaviour (tact) and the negatives primarily being a decreased ability to socially adapt in a way that benefits themselves. From observation, I do not consider autistic individuals to lack an innate identity. This is a direct excerpt from what I have experienced, and not a theory.

c. For a majority of my interaction, I still have to engage with my manipulated (constructed) identity. I do this for the very same reason an Aspie would: to avoid consequence. It is not 'being part of a hivemind' that envelops such behaviour, but I do see how memetics influence how I and others must act. I do not consider individuality to be wiped from the equation, nor do I understand how an NT individual is automatically involved and those with atypical wiring are not.

It would take an incredible amount of time to distinguish through a post, exactly what I thought, (I am not invested enough) so I simply point out what I disagree with.

I thought it was only female Aspies who were interested in "faking it"!

Personally, I couldn't be bothered in being false. I am just me and if that comes off as "Aspie", then so be it!

I've had enough of humans and their stupid judgements. I am me and I just be me. I don't even know if there is such a thing as normal anymore but my whole life, I've just been me. It may be weird to these surface dwellers but I originally didn't know it was weird and when I learnt I was different, I had no desire to change or lie to fit in. I never belonged and I knew that - and never wanted to. I'm a one person island and I like it like that! I like me!

Me too I do something like creating a character and staying away from people because I always get bored from them I'm also very awkward and anxious

I don't know, I feel like I can't go anywhere without someone being turned off by me in some way, or even criticizing me or making fun of me, so I'm guessing not well.

When I was a teenager I used to get really anxious about going into a shop and buying something, and I became avoidant. But in the last few years I have become more confident, and now it doesn't bother me at all. In fact I LIKE buying stuff in shops now.

Being out in public alone is not my favourite thing, but as I said before, I have become more confident and so I just get on with it. I don't need to remind myself to smile and/or interact with the cashier in shops and supermarkets, as it just comes naturally.

I do get flustered when strangers stand too near to me. I am very fussy about my personal space, and I get annoyed if it gets invaded, because I lose concentration in what I'm doing. It also makes me feel like I'm always in the way, like I'm some awkward little kid or something. But I try to see myself from their eyes and that tells me that I am not in anybody's way, that I just happen to be looking for something in the same place as they're looking. But it still doesn't stop me from feeling awkward. I also get agitated when there are toddlers screaming near me. I can't concentrate at all then. Last Saturday I was in a crowded supermarket trying to look for something I had trouble finding, and this woman stood right near me with this grizzly toddler who was shouting because it wanted a drink and the woman wouldn't let it have one. Then she picked the toddler up, and the toddler took a deep breath and let out a scream that was so long I thought it was going to run out of oxygen. So I had to walk away and come back when they were gone, because I could not concentrate. I would never hurt a little kid, but I don't like them very much.

But other than that, yeah I'm pretty OK in public. I don't do anything odd that attracts attention from everybody. If I get too anxious I just either walk away calmly, or just tap my fingers gently on the top of my leg or something like that what's not noticeable. So if you passed me 10 times in public you wouldn't know that I'm Aspie. Sometimes I may look a little more anxious than other times if I'm having a bad day (with facial expressions), but that doesn't scream out that I have an ASD. It's just how I'm feeling that day, and a lot of other people probably do that too.

Anytime I enter into the public. I always put on my mask and put on a show. The world is my stage. If you ever have a chance to take theater in school, do so. That performing arts training really pays off in the end. Although I can act in public. I can only do it for so long before i get tired. So I scout out all the escape routes and how long it will take me to get there, an emergency plan if my mask starts to slip.