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Sweetleaf
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11 Nov 2014, 2:12 pm

There are so many varying people on this site, not sure anyone 'fits in'...as there isn't really a singular main/normal group on the forum to compare anything to since the people here vary so much. But there are certainly some interesting people here and people I get along with and then I have ran into some I don't get along so well with. I think a lot of time it can have to do with other factors aside from the autism, like having different backgrounds even if sharing the same diagnoses.


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Sweetleaf
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11 Nov 2014, 2:16 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
If you look at one of the "compliments" sections, you'll see the same people complimenting each other. Nobody else seems to feel able to enter that thread--I don't think that's the intention, though.

But there is a "clique"--though not necessarily an exclusionary clique.

It's made up of long-time members who know and trust each other. I believe there are many skeptics on the Site who will not accept "newbies" right away. Perhaps this is because some people, in the past, have abused their trust in the past. This is human nature--not wanting to be duped. That's one of the primary reasons why cliques emerge.

It's inevitable. It's human nature. Aspies are not exempt from human nature.

I wouldn't testify in court that there's definitely a clique on this Site, however. I'm just speculating.


If anything there would be multiple ones, but I have never noticed anything resembling a main clique for instance...and I have been on here for a few years now I am pretty sure.


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Klowglas
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11 Nov 2014, 2:31 pm

WP to me, is just a last ditch effort at socializing, I wouldn't be here if I didn't have zero friends. So I don't think i necessarily fit in, it's just that I don't have much of a choice but to try.



B19
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11 Nov 2014, 2:55 pm

My response is "sometimes, more often than not". I certainly don't fit on PPR and the hatefulness there repels me. I often find I relate best to the experiences and view of older members, which is not surprising since I am probably one of the oldest members here. Except for the ones who slag off anyone who disagrees with them in PPR, of course.



EzraS
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11 Nov 2014, 3:23 pm

I'm comfortable here, if that's what fit in means. I've gotten some great advice and support here. People have been really nice to me here.



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11 Nov 2014, 3:24 pm

Actually, I would say that this is really one of the first places I ever felt like I fit in. Sometimes I feel like I am not legit enough-- meaning that many/most of you were diagnosed at a young age, whereas I was diagnosed only 5 months ago-- so sometimes I feel like I have not had the identity of Aspie long enough to really be a good source for Autistic experience and life.. if that makes sense? Otherwise, I feel at home and often identify with what others say.


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alpineglow
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11 Nov 2014, 3:55 pm

This might sound odd but I feel like I fit in only because there are so many posts I read about people who feel they don't fit in here &/or anywhere. Which is how I feel, except for this little window of, 'well it might be okay for me to post here but not often.' ? There are some posts I've read here that truly helped me understand things about myself. Now that I've been here a few years I see I am not helpful to others.



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11 Nov 2014, 4:15 pm

Not so much now as I am an old member who has been away for a long time. My time where I felt part of the community was when I was here the most, back in 2008 when I was a mod for a short time too. Most of those I knew then, who were also long term members, seem to have left now apart from a few like Cockneyrebel. The forum was very different back then and a lot more active and closer knit.


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B19
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11 Nov 2014, 4:24 pm

Graelwyn, do you think it is possible that the forum could move on to become that again? If there are any members here who have been here from the very beginning, have you seen these cycles come and go more than once? Alex?



noodler
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11 Nov 2014, 4:46 pm

I feel like I fit in here more than in the general population. I haven't done much socializing on the internet until this site. I have an interest in this site because most of the people on here are not NT. I think there are a lot of people out there who don't have a diagnosis because they are too highly functioning, proud, or unable to seek help for mental illness. And the people who have problems and would like help, but cannot access it, I feel very bad for. But this site is mainly for people who have recognized in themselves, or by someone else, that they could use some help. By help, I mean if you have a diagnosis, you have either sought help intentionally, unintentionally, or forced into it in some way (my good friend has ASD and was forced into institution at a very young age). Everyone who has ASD, Autism, or Asperger's syndrome at least has that one big thing in common. Also, I find meaningful discussion on here, as well as a refreshing dose of open mindedness. And the discussion can be about anything versus sites designed for niche interests.



Graelwyn
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11 Nov 2014, 5:00 pm

B19 wrote:
Graelwyn, do you think it is possible that the forum could move on to become that again? If there are any members here who have been here from the very beginning, have you seen these cycles come and go more than once? Alex?


I am not sure it can ever return to that. It had changed even when I checked back here last year briefly and is why I did not remain to post. The warm atmosphere just seems to have vanished, for me anyway. There seems to be less of a mod presence too. Back then there were a lot of mods and posting was so busy that it was impossible to keep up. Used to be up to 20 browsing a forum in busier periods. Of course, there was some discord as with any forum and trolling but it was lively. What became of posters like Quatermass and Inventor and numerous others, I wonder. I know people move on, but a lot of these members were posting here for years.


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jenisautistic
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11 Nov 2014, 5:05 pm

I did but now I feel like a noob before my circle of friends haven't posted that much of my stuff or have gone completely


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Happycampus
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11 Nov 2014, 5:07 pm

Honestly, no. I'm actually disappointed after what my psychologist told me about this site. I certainly prefer it here over other places, though.

My primary issues with this site are the envy I develop when I see how much more socially successful many of the people here are, and the anxiety about my future I get when I see how miserable some people here are. Granted, both of those issues are entirely on me, but it still isn't fun when you enter an online community hoping to feel better about yourself, only to come out feeling worse.



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11 Nov 2014, 5:23 pm

Happycampus wrote:
Honestly, no. I'm actually disappointed after what my psychologist told me about this site. I certainly prefer it here over other places, though.

My primary issues with this site are the envy I develop when I see how much more socially successful many of the people here are, and the anxiety about my future I get when I see how miserable some people here are. Granted, both of those issues are entirely on me, but it still isn't fun when you enter an online community hoping to feel better about yourself, only to come out feeling worse.


What did the psych say? Interested.

I relate to the envy and is probably part of the reason why I don't feel like I fit in terribly well. I'm not mad with jealousy, don't get me wrong. But I'm 39 years old, have never dated or been in a relationship, and have never held down any job for longer than a few months. Meanwhile, I come to WP and pretty much 90% of the females here seem to be in a relationship or married. The remaining 10% seem to be perfectly happy to be single. Not that I think I could hold down a relationship for 2 seconds at the moment, but I'm not content with my situation either. In fact, I'm deeply discontented. But I feel powerless to change it, for various reasons.

I don't think I'm "normal" even by the standards of the WP community, so don't let my post bring you down. Everyone is different. Just because I failed doesn't mean you will fail.



Zajie
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11 Nov 2014, 5:25 pm

I love WP because of the posts and everything others mentioned in their replies but some reason I keep getting the vibes of so many people here finding me annoying or stupid, I know this might only be me and that it might not be true but does anyone here feel that way???



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11 Nov 2014, 5:38 pm

One thing I notice is the tendency of some members to immediately attack people who disagree with them. Most of these take this form: instead of simply saying "I disagree", they go straight to "you are wrong" and in doing that, they are automatically placing themselves above the person they are disagreeing with.

I do understand that some people have a psychological need to do this, that some fall into the trap of putting others down because they need to feel better about themselves, and they don't know how else to do that. Hopefully when they know better they will do better. Though it does blight this place for me. However there are more good things than bad, that's for sure.

Also, can I say to those very few who routinely use sarcasm to put others down:

sarcasm is not a form of humour; it is a form of anger. It is not clever; it is aggression. There are much better ways to own and deal with the your anger, better for you as well as your targets. Sarcasm is a no-winners action.