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PhoenixRising
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11 Nov 2014, 10:59 am

I am in my 30s and have never dated.
I am open to it but wouldn't even know how to start.
Hoping that my situation may change next year.

Animals are easier!! :D

Is there anyone else here who falls into that category?



sharkattack
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11 Nov 2014, 1:37 pm

PhoenixRising wrote:
I am in my 30s and have never dated.
I am open to it but wouldn't even know how to start.
Hoping that my situation may change next year.

Animals are easier!! :D

Is there anyone else here who falls into that category?


No I am not in that category because I am no longer in my 30s.



engineerbiology
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11 Nov 2014, 3:06 pm

[DELETED]


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Check my thread about the difference between the autistic brain and the neurotypical brain:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt270321.html


Last edited by engineerbiology on 12 Nov 2014, 8:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

Skilpadde
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11 Nov 2014, 3:40 pm

Only relationship I was in was LDR (and considering how it turned out, thank heavens for that!) when I was 33-34.
Never dated anyone IRL, and never had the desire. When I was infatuated I never had any wish to do more than daydream about it. I am no more interested now.


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Transyl
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11 Nov 2014, 7:43 pm

Skilpadde wrote:
When I was infatuated I never had any wish to do more than daydream about it.

This is exactly how I was growing up. I'd have a crush on a girl and just feel lucky if she smiled back at me or gave me a hug.

Although I did eventually ask a friend out. Sort of just happened. She said yes. Within the span of that same day I realized I got myself into way more than I could manage. The thought of being her boyfriend not only around her but her family, her friends, my family, my friends, our friends together, complete strangers... all of it was too much. She was a great girl but I couldn't be a boyfriend worthy of her.



LupaLuna
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11 Nov 2014, 7:54 pm

sharkattack wrote:
PhoenixRising wrote:
I am in my 30s and have never dated.
I am open to it but wouldn't even know how to start.
Hoping that my situation may change next year.

Animals are easier!! :D

Is there anyone else here who falls into that category?


No I am not in that category because I am no longer in my 30s.

Same here..



CockneyRebel
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11 Nov 2014, 8:57 pm

I'm 40 and I've never dated. I don't feel that I'm missing out on much to be honest. I'm better off alone anyways. There are too many controlling relationships.


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friedmacguffins
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11 Nov 2014, 9:24 pm

I am considered 'safe' to be around, so hear more inside info than I care to deal with. :roll: 8O :x

This is not a desirable trait in a man, until NT women (sorry) have lots of baggage or are in immediate trouble.

I'm frankly surprised to hear about bad boys who won't pay their own way or show common courtesy. How is that possible?

I treat their kids like human beings but don't want to adopt them.

I give stupid, Forrest Gump and Karl Childers answers, to obvious problems, but get treated like a sage.

No serious relationships, and I'm in my thirties.



NiceCupOfTea
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11 Nov 2014, 10:11 pm

39 and haven't dated =/

Not happy with that, and dreading a lonely middle/old age. At the same time, right now I don't think I could hold a relationship down for longer than 2 seconds. I'm struggling with keeping my few online friendships going, as all I seem to feel like doing 99.9% of the time is retreating further into my shell.



TerryD
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11 Nov 2014, 10:41 pm

57 and never dated. I never figured out how it works. No one gave me the instruction manual.



Touretter
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11 Nov 2014, 11:01 pm

I'm 31. And aside from some brief on-line correspondences, I've never really had the opportunity to date. 1. My family moved around a lot, growing up. 2. I was home schooled. 3. I was never that popular, and was socially awkward. 4. I've been a twixter.



friedmacguffins
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11 Nov 2014, 11:22 pm

The dog isn't performing mental gymnastics, when I put my around him. What so hard about that?



Lukecash12
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11 Nov 2014, 11:54 pm

PhoenixRising wrote:
I am in my 30s and have never dated.
I am open to it but wouldn't even know how to start.
Hoping that my situation may change next year.

Animals are easier!! :D

Is there anyone else here who falls into that category?


I had never had a date until I was in my thirties. If it makes you feel any better it was probably best that things happened that way for me. I wasn't equipped to handle someone like that until I had matured enough emotionally. If you don't feel emotionally mature don't go rushing in to something that is going to be very unpleasant. Divorce wasn't fun at all for me and I even felt ready for dating and marriage.

friedmacguffins wrote:
I give stupid, Forrest Gump and Karl Childers answers, to obvious problems, but get treated like a sage.


It bugs me when people do that. Doesn't that bug you when you don't even feel like you come up with something all that substantial and they act as if it's sagely? Sometimes I wonder if people would even be able to do anything with a serious, carefully thought out answer. They'd rather hear something that could have come out of a card. So they try the obvious solution you give them with their obvious problem and it seems like they still don't get it, probably because their impulse is not to solve the problem at all. And the funny thing is when I do take some time and try to say something substantial they don't like it.

In marriage it was even worse. When I tried to state in as rational terms as possible what I thought was going on she got very irritated. I couldn't compare our reactions and tell her that it didn't make any sense for her to yell at me over a sock I accidentally left on the floor, when I was obligated to tolerate her doing things like misplacing important mail and god forbid that I would over react to something real like owing a ton of interest. Apparently any time someone makes an observation like that they are just an insensitive, unemotional monster. It's silly and I won't look for someone again because I can't tolerate being with someone who I can't even be remotely honest with.


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friedmacguffins
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12 Nov 2014, 12:11 am

I'm not a rote conformist, per se. I don't think that all people have to do things the same way, every time.

But, I think there is a customary expectation of social order. People know what is expected of them, in a Ken and Barbie sort-of way. They have a reasonable knowledge of the consequences but fail to accept responsibility.



Arcnarenth
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12 Nov 2014, 12:38 am

I'm 31 and I've never dated. I've asked out a few girls in the past, but it's always been met with disastrous results. There seems to be so many bizarre rules to courtship that absolutely allude me or that I blatantly trip over, yet I remain largely oblivious to the majority of them.

'Growing up,' this was a huge source of distress for me as I desperately wanted the companionship of someone who would truly 'get me,' but I think at this point in my life I'm much better off alone. I struggle to preserve the friendships I have and could not imagine how difficult that would be in an invested, romantic relationship. Sure, I get lonely, but I'm no longer convinced the alternative is that much better.