The aspie pause

Post Reply New Topic

In conversation, I tend to hesistate a beat right after a person has finished their reply and is waiting for mine. There are people that I've suspected of being aspies that do the same thing. Does anyone else do this? Might it be a way to identify an aspie? It also reflects how sometimes it takes me forever to figure out how to begin a post.

I do it, but it's also part of my personality type. I have to think about things before I talk. I also do this because I can't read anything in the eyes or on the face. So, I try to read that before I answer. It never works.

Too often I react before the conversing person has even finished because I intuitively know what they are going to say next, which really sucks because I can't keep my mouth shut...people just look at me like I am some sort of kook...they are probably right, too

I always pause because I try to understand what they said exactly so I don't make an ass out of myself, though I do anyway WITH the pause.

I never used to do it, then I started doing it. I don't think I do anymore. I try to answer quick. One thing that REALLY did it for me was talking to a friend on my digita cell phone. The digital cell phone technology is LOUSY, and there is a noticable pause. That makes any pause I do even MORE noticable!

I think it has something to do with personality, and the attempt to not have fillers. In my case, there is ALSO a slight delay because of the way I think through things.

Steve

Yup...absolutely do pause for quite a bit before I speak. Trying to jump in more nowadays.

Pause- abit --try a minute or ten...

...I think that is porbably why people get bored of me --my long tim freinds are used to the fact that I don't partake in converstaion because - I just plainly take too long. -unless the topic is something I like eg. Physics.

.........um...moment...

yes. And, worse. Sometimes I do not even know if I am being spoken to (embarrasssing). I have bad eye contact so how should I know if someone is speaking to me necessarily? Outsiders occassionally think I am deaf &/or blind (I am not). Just shake me hard if you need a quick response (or if there's a fire, etc.) .....sigh.

....................................
....................................
....................................
Yeah, I pause all the time.

Yup. And if someone goes off on me for the pause, I completely forget what I was going to say.

the cheese stands alone
IT MUST STAND ALONE!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

Yes I totally have the pause at times. Usually either I'm processing what was said or trying to figure out how I should reply. It mainly happens when a simple "yes","no" or other one-word response won't work and the reply is more involved. Sometimes I put an "um" or "hmm" in to fill the space and let them know I'm thinking - although I don't really like that habit and am trying to stop doing it.

I do the pause in online chat as well although it is probably less noticeable in that realm.

Yes, I usually pause. This can work for you. It can make you look deep and thoughtful. I had one boss who hired me because of the pauses. She interpreted it as my really thinking things over before answering. Well, that was true, but maybe not in the way she assumed

Yes, I often find myself processing speech slowly, and taking time to respond. Sometimes I say "pardon" as if I had not heard them properly, and then find that I did hear it when I say that.

What Mariiha said. And interupting is not only rude, but for me can lead to fast talking and eventually a digressive babble.

All of the time. Body language and tonal inflections are completely lost on me. I have to carefully analyze what was said first. Then I have to carefully weigh every word of my response. The only time I don't do this is when the conversation is about one of my obsessions or a technical meeting at work. In both cases most people can't keep up with me most of the time.