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King_oni
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23 Nov 2014, 7:58 pm

I'd like to chip in on the age thing. Here's my situation and my issue with it all.

I never, ever considered myself to be on the spectrum until I was already 27 or 28. That's where I first heard about Asperger's even. Which in turn might also indicate how much I wasn't in touch with the world if I never heard of these things.

But with my history of therapist vists even when the DSM III was still used, along with my constant dodging of the bullet by starting a course in college or uni, dropping out and collecting government funded scholarship (which is how it works here in The Netherlands) and pretty much rinse, repeated it until I wasn't eligible for it (you only have so many years to receive), I eventually hit a brick wall... and that's where my journey into aspie-land started. I never heard of it, yet I kept failing in education ánd employment for reasons that now seem quite obvious.

I never sought out help in late teens and 20's because I never gave the end of the line a thought and just went living on day by day.. or in this case schoolyear by schoolyear. That by itself might say something about the support on gets for failing in school again (because; let's face it... in an interview for a new course, school surely knows about your past)... that's how I kept under the radar.

Now I'm 32, no education, racked up scholarship loans and the only one optimistic is the government, thinking that I could eventually find "something"... yeah of course they're optimistic, they want their loans back, lol.

So I never "hid" behind the notion that I couldn't do something because I was on the spectrum; me being on the spectrum actually only became apparently after I already failed way too often within standardized employment and education.



Rocket123
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23 Nov 2014, 8:03 pm

AspieUtah wrote:
...But, that experience for you would yield exactly zero information about my screening-test and factor-test scores, my lifelong characteristics and my factor diagnoses unless I described them to you...

These terms ("factor-test scores" and "factor diagnoses") are new (at least to me). Could you please describe what they mean? Thanks.



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23 Nov 2014, 8:03 pm

I get that totally, Aspie Utah. What we see depends so much on where we stand, and our generation who were middle-aged or older before there even was a diagnosis share a unique kind of experience that is known and meaningful to us. I don't get the hostility, but then I often don't get that..



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23 Nov 2014, 8:05 pm

King_oni wrote:
...I never "hid" behind the notion that I couldn't do something because I was on the spectrum....

I was retired for 12 years before I learned about my AS last year. In fact, I hadn't even been told about AS until about 10 years ago. So, I could hardly use it as any excuse.


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AspieUtah
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23 Nov 2014, 8:15 pm

Rocket123 wrote:
These terms ("factor-test scores" and "factor diagnoses") are new (at least to me). Could you please describe what they mean? Thanks.

The core factor tests for the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) screening test include the Empathy Quotient (EQ), the Friendship and Relationship Quotient (FQ) and the Systemizing Quotient (SQ). Since it is common for individuals with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) or other autism-spectrum disorders (ASDs) to have disabilities in these areas, they have become a kind of "core" of the various factor tests published by the Centre. This way, individuals who have tested beyond the threshold on the AQ test can also complete the factor tests and see the factors in which they have the least of most severe disabilities.

In the same way, there are certain other (co-occurrent or co-morbid) disorders (GAD, SAD, OCD and others) with which most individuals with AS or other ASDs are diagnosed.

When added to the collection of evidence in an individual's self-diagnosis, these fators help describe in detail what is included in the overall presumption of AS or ASD.


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Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


kraftiekortie
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23 Nov 2014, 8:16 pm

I believe a person could be autistic without requiring support.

One example: there's been a drastic change in a routine at a job site. The autistic person is fortunate that a bathroom is available so he/she could retreat to cry/stim, etc. In this case, the autistic person is using his/her cognitive awareness to offset to consequences of exhibiting autistic behavior in public.

In this case, this person still has autism, but is able to adapt to his/her environment--thus he/she does not require active support.

The person with multiple sclerosis is not always symptomatic--or could adjust to the symptoms enough to maintain employment. This person still has MS, though.



kicker
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23 Nov 2014, 8:28 pm

Validation is a powerful thing. It can make crawling through the proverbial mud seem like it was all worth it, or give something meaning, beyond what it actually meant.

I find it to be tragic, in a sense, that rather than find validation in our own selves, the connections we do have, and the accomplishments we have worked hard for, we as a race, be it that your NT, ASD, somewhere in between, or just plain weird( :wink: ) need to have that validation through a book, fame, or some other external presence that's superficial compared to the validation we could give ourselves.

I've been practicing trying to find validation for myself daily, and it's actually a nice experience. :D I find I don't get as frustrated when people don't understand me and they don't have to (most times) I understand me.

I am diagnosed, though it wasn't by choice and it took till I was 34 for it to happen. I wish rather than having a diagnosis that I would've just been taught how to accept myself as I am, that's seems to be the biggest issue. I can rattle off my "symptoms" all day and detail out every single one. Having a label hasn't stopped me from having them or brought a greater insight. If anything it has only frustrated me more that I wouldn't be able to "fix it".

At any rate, I hope everyone seeking to be validated gets what they want, as I believe it is inconceivably difficult to live life when constantly seeking validation.



B19
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23 Nov 2014, 8:43 pm

That makes an awful lot of sense to me, Kicker. Here's some validation: you sound tolerant and insightful.



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23 Nov 2014, 8:47 pm

Amen to King_oni's post.

Kraftiekortie's analogy to MS is flawed, because autism does not go into remission. MS does. Crohn's does. Most diseases can go into remission or present without symptoms. Autism cannot.

And at 39 and unemployed and uneducated, I'm starting to get tired of being patronised to death by the clearly "successful" oldies who were able to mask their symptoms so brilliantly.



kicker
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23 Nov 2014, 8:52 pm

B19 wrote:
That makes an awful lot of sense to me, Kicker. Here's some validation: you sound tolerant and insightful.


I try to be at least. Thanks.



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23 Nov 2014, 9:01 pm

NiceCupOfTea wrote:
Amen to King_oni's post.

Kraftiekortie's analogy to MS is flawed, because autism does not go into remission. MS does. Crohn's does. Most diseases can go into remission or present without symptoms. Autism cannot.

And at 39 and unemployed and uneducated, I'm starting to get tired of being patronised to death by the clearly "successful" oldies who were able to mask their symptoms so brilliantly.


I sincerely hope that happier times lay ahead for you.



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23 Nov 2014, 9:08 pm

Thanks B19. I do appreciate the good thoughts.

And so do I... >.>



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23 Nov 2014, 10:03 pm

Why would they make diagnosis based about needing supports when there are no supports?

Autism is a series of traits. Functioning and need for supports depends on how well you and society in general and the people you interact with get along or work togeather. I did not function well in elementary and high school. I functioned relatively well in my 20's and 30's. There were no relationships, as a male you could get away with that a bit. If I were a women that was single after 30 that wasn't acceptable, you were labeled as "old maid" . If I went into a psychs office I would have been derided by my peers and laughed out the office. A women version of me would have given at least 2 diagnosis or more accurately misdiagnosis. Unlike many of my fellow esteemed older users I never was a savant or made tons or money so when when society decided it was going to become Autistic unfriendly I became non functional combined with with my childhood that was enough to be diagnosed. Here is the thing, I was equally Autisic and Aspie when any psych with credibility would have laughed me out of the office in 1985 as the non independent person desperately hoping somehow vocational rehab works because retirement is not an option here in 2014.
I don't know the percentage of Aspies/Autuistic who are unemployed. It may be overestimated but don't understatement it either. When you read the posts it is a skewed example precisely because you are reading the posts of the older members who survived, are well enough to post, and figured out they might be or are on the spectrum. When l look back as we all do when we are diagnosed and realized there were other people who were undiagnosed way back then. Some of them died of drugs, some offed themselves. I look for others on the net and they are nowhere to be found. Where did they go? Some of them considering their age never got online but still inside my head I know they came to a bad end or are locked up somewhere.

So the diagnoses meant a lot because it showed me I survived despite more then I ever appreciated because I am moderately severe Aspergers. And I know despite how bad it is, and probably worse it will get as a SOS Senior on the Spectrum, that can't ever be taken away. It can't be taken away that by people see psychiatry as checkmarks on a list instead of a healing profession. All my life people told me I am too negative and now when I finally feel better about myself it's wrong. Unfuckinbelivable.


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Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 24 Nov 2014, 5:15 am, edited 5 times in total.

wozeree
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23 Nov 2014, 10:19 pm

NiceCupOfTea wrote:
Amen to King_oni's post.

Kraftiekortie's analogy to MS is flawed, because autism does not go into remission. MS does. Crohn's does. Most diseases can go into remission or present without symptoms. Autism cannot.

And at 39 and unemployed and uneducated, I'm starting to get tired of being patronised to death by the clearly "successful" oldies who were able to mask their symptoms so brilliantly.


That's a mouthful and you really have no idea what you are talking about. Talk about patronizing! Every day is still a struggle and I'm 52 and gainfully employed. And yeah, I use the restroom to escape and cope sometimes. I even did that in HS a hundred years ago. I can't mask anything though, I am successful despite my problems because I work hard and don't sit around crying about how hard it is to be an Aspie and how nobody will feel sorry for me.

I flunked out of HS and went to College in my 40s. College was a struggle too, I flunked some classes and took them over until I passed them, but one semester I was on the Dean's List. Just be yourself and fight hard to get what you want and DO SOMETHING. Don't give up.



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23 Nov 2014, 10:22 pm

Aspie Utah, I hear your frustration, pain, hurt and anger and I understand it. No-one can take your own personal truth away from you, nor can they diminish it. They can misunderstand it, not believe it, disrespect it, or ignore it; that is their choice for whatever reason. But it doesn't invalidate one bit your experience, your journey, your truth, your courage. No-one else can ever entirely walk completely in your shoes.

Yes, I agree, many of our peers are not represented here because they fell by the wayside, the unsung tragedies of our generation. Many of them did succumb to addictions to drown then pain. I meet some of them once a week as they struggle to find recovery. The rest are in hospitals, living on the street, in desperate situations or in the cemetery, I suspect. The unrecognised, unsung and unremembered. At least here, we can pause to honour them, if we choose. We survived. I am grateful for that. If I make it sound easy, then I have misrepresented the situation. It wasn't. Sometimes it was living hell. You know there is a saying in addiction recovery: "I don't fear dying and going to hell - I've already been there".

On the spectrum as a whole, many are under-employed, as well as unemployed. These are serious issues that have yet to be given the attention they merit, and a lot of education out there in the workplace needs to be done for the coming generations behind us. Things are tougher now. I understand that. I am not unsympathetic to the struggle that requires, whatever age group WP members belong to. I do my best to encourage them, because I know how it was in my time, with no-one to encourage me. I don't always succeed in doing that...



kraftiekortie
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23 Nov 2014, 10:47 pm

Actually, for all intents and purposes, could COULD go into relative remission from autism.

In the old days, when it wasn't "known" when one had Asperger's or autism, one frequently experienced something similar to "remission"--except, alas, the symptoms seem to return. However, during the "remissions," strategies were developed which lead to the ability to adapt, successfuly, to the "NT" world around them.

Ironically, I was diagnosed with "autism" at around age 3, in the 1960s. I wasn't one who "didn't know what I had." When I was an older child, I "knew" I "used to be ret*d," and that I had "brain surgery" (it turns out that the "brain surgery" was the administration of an EEG).

Autism, in the 1960s, was considered an inevitably debilitating condition. I was exhibiting quite a few "classic" autistic symptoms, and I had no speech. Fortunately, my mother didn't believe the prognosis, and we proceeding accordingly (perhaps she was too rough at times--and I, probably, bear a grudge because of her rough methods). Subsequently, the diagnosis was changed to "brain damage," which was quite a vague diagnosis in those days; it encompassed, basically, much of ADHD, learning disabilities, and HFA/Asperger's. "Emotionally disturbed" was a similar diagnosis--though I don't believe I carried that "label."

All right, one doesn't quite go into "remission" from their autism--but there are times when one is better able to manage his/her symptoms. To the point where one may be definitely autistic--but not in need of any "support." Under stress, one might revert to a clinical state where "support" may be required.