Can a person be both eccentric and socially accepted?

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Joe90
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27 Nov 2014, 6:53 am

I've heard so much about the general population being 'afraid' of people that appear different to what's expected. But I have also known people to be very odd and different (not religion-related, just unique), but still seem to have everybody talking to them and wanting to be best friends, etc. LIke a woman that I used to be friends with. I found her so fascinating because she was very eccentric in emotions, thoughts and view on general life. I won't list all her traits and ways, but the word that describes her well is eccentric. But despite her being so different, she still got more people wanting to talk to her than I ever do, and all the men are always asking her out. Is it because she could be socially skilled? If I were socially skilled would I have more people thinking I'm fantastic like her? I don't know if she has anything wrong with her or not, but I do know there are a lot of strange ways about her. I am so jealous of her. I need to learn to be more socially skilled. She's not even somebody people can trust, since I heard she says one thing to you and says something completely different to the next person, and she often causes trouble without meaning to. I don't want to be like that, but still, I am quite jealous of her.


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eggheadjr
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27 Nov 2014, 3:06 pm

I think if you're perceived as eccentric but "cool" people want to be around you.

Einstein was certainly eccentric and socially accepted.


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arielhawksquill
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28 Nov 2014, 4:10 pm

People love colorful, amusing, upbeat eccentrics because they are entertaining. There isn't any entertainment value in moody, self-isolating, pitiful eccentrics of the sort Aspies can tend to be.

You're obsessing over that woman again, Joe. She is not like you, so you shouldn't compare yourself to her.



Joe90
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28 Nov 2014, 5:29 pm

Yes I know I'm obsessed with this woman, and I know I should snap out of it. But she also fascinates me and I would love to get inside her head. But anyway its my problem, I'll deal with it.

As for the joys of having Aspergers, I think if we aren't moody, we are annoying instead when we're just trying to be witty. It's not fair. I want to be like this woman...unique and popular. I know I'm a nicer person but I've learnt in this life that being too nice doesn't always land you the people you want.


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kraftiekortie
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28 Nov 2014, 5:35 pm

Of course you could be both eccentric and socially accepted. I've known many people like that.

In my almost 54 years of my life, I've been "socially accepted" in a small way for maybe about 10 of those years. I mean....."in a small way." I'm barely beyond being thought of as being all those bad names which are bandied about.

I believe I achieved this "small measure" of acceptance because I stopped caring what people think. I think that's the crux of the matter: STOP CARING WHAT PEOPLE THINK--UNLESS YOU'RE HURTING OTHERS OR YOURSELF.



Shadi2
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28 Nov 2014, 5:42 pm

Yes. You just have to find the right "crowd"/people and not try to fit in with people with whom you have nothing in common.


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ASPartOfMe
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29 Nov 2014, 5:29 am

Absolutely. "Eccentric billionaire" is a cliché. But it describes a lot of entertainers. But I do think "how" a person is eccentric matters a lot. Apparently the most (not all) autistic eccentricities make most uncomfortable to downright hostile :cry:


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Edna3362
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29 Nov 2014, 6:39 am

I'm currently perceived as this ever since 3rd year high school because that time, I never cared about the invisible 'rules' anymore since. Minus the upbeat and social part. I'm not even trying to be socially appropriate, or amusing.

(Or maybe because of cultural means here; having a 'special child/eccentric person' is equals to a 'lucky charm' or what not.)
I'm trying to back to back hiding again, and failed.


The entertainer stereotype fits my mom and my grandpa (her dad)...


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Jensen
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29 Nov 2014, 8:53 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I believe I achieved this "small measure" of acceptance because I stopped caring what people think. I think that's the crux of the matter: STOP CARING WHAT PEOPLE THINK--UNLESS YOU'RE HURTING OTHERS OR YOURSELF.


Exactly! It works! When you don´t care, you´re more relaxed and can, in fact, be more open to other people, - and bingo! They feel accepted and therefore they like you.


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FautheralLoather
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29 Nov 2014, 10:53 am

Yes I see it happen all the time.