Doctor lacks empathy (ironic!)7

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Im in the uk btw, female, 29 and seeking diagnosis for ASD.

I went to chase up my autism diagnosis and the doctor was so incredibly difficult to talk to. What on earth (or elsewhere) do i do next? I have literally been crying for hours because of his rude and dismissive manner.

How have you dealt with this kind of situation? Here's the story so far...

9 months ago I went to my doc to be referred for an autism diagnosis. I had my EQ tests and lots of paperwork evidence stuff with me. This doctor, unlike today's, listened to me. He actually seemed interested and referred me to the rather innapropriately-named IAPS: "improving access to psychological services" centre, (something i assume all in the uk have to do to be passed to the correct mental health service).

I had an assessment at IAPS and at the end the nurse said "well it certainly isn't clear-cut because you're not very obvious in presentation, but I know someone who will listen as she has an interest in this subject". She asked me if I would like her to refer me to the *only* adult autism centre in the north of England, which has a waiting list of a year, or if I would like to refer myself. I was taken aback and asked what the difference is. She said "if you refer yourself you can put all the information you want in the referral, but if I send it to a GP they won't have much information to give them". So I stupidly said I would do it myself, and have since been unable to because of my lack of executive functioning skills.

I thought today's doctors appt, which has taken me 9 months to make, was just going to be...

Me: "I haven't been able to do this, could you forward the referral to the centre instead?"
Doc: "yes of course, I'm sorry this has been a difficult process for you"

BUT it was...

Me: "I haven't been able to do this, could you forward the referral to the centre instead?"
Doc: "no we don't do that"
Me: "I have been referred already through you then IAPS. I just couldn't physically send the form off myself because of my difficulties and I can't use the phone"
Doc: in an aggressive tone "what do you mean you can't use the phone? Why not? You are talking to me now, you just do that but on the phone"
Me: Ive never liked it because I find it much harder to read people than in real life. The auditory processing difficulty is part of why i think it is autism. My executive functioning skills don't allow me to do time-sensitive thi..."
Doc, interrupting and leaning towards me, getting visibly annoyed: "executive what?! Speak English with me please"
Me, by now crying my eyes out: "well im trying to explain it. That is part of AS too- i find it difficult not to use language like that in a lot of situations where its not appropriate. Lack of executive function means the way your brain organises information leads you to be too disorganised to focus on certain things. For example, I graduated top of my class and won prestigious awards but I can't even use a phone, do my washing or feed myself properly without being near useless for the rest of the day.
Doc: "have you lost weight then? No? What else?"
Me: "Umm, well as one example of sensory problems, I can't cope well with these type of lights" *points at strip lights on ceiling*
Doc: "well you're dealing with them fine right now"
Me: "I always appear as if I am coping with everything, but I'll go home now and get a migraine"
Doc, laughing: "then it's something at home giving you a migraine!"
Me: "actually it was a hospital doctor who noticed that particular problem when I was a baby. I constantly hide any discomfort in everything I do. I have real evidence for all of the points of the diagnostic criteria, school reports etc, a huge file"
Doc: "Well everyone in the waiting room will get mad. I must do some research on this thing because its obviously not something i know about" (I'm guessing this was sarcastic?, either that or painful. It looked painful.
Me: "Tony Attwood's research on female aspergers is a good place to..."
Doc: "actually I'm not going to because I'll end up obsessive and thinking I have it too"

If I can't use basic medical terminology like "auditory processing" or "executive function" with a doctor, confusing him to the point of obvious frustration, who is there to talk to in this world? I am SICK of dumbing down for people who look down on me, patronise me and think they have authority over me.

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. I haven't had that exact experience, but once I filled out a long form of symptoms and behavior before seeing a certain therapist. Only to end up with him asking me all of the questions straight down the line (in the same order), one after another, with all of the answers right in front of him. But I had to answer them outloud to him as if he didn't have the answers right in front of him. To top it off, he was extremely aggressive in his questioning. I felt like I was being interrogated by a military officer. I was intimidated, so I didn't get into it with him, but I did call up the office when i got home and told them I wanted someone else or I would walk. Strangely, I met a girl in a depression group months later who had the therapist and said he made her cry during sessions, and threatened to "dismiss" her if she didn't do better on the worksheets he would give her each visit.