I'm a moron with rage issues

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Joined: 15 Aug 2014
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28 Nov 2014, 1:23 pm

Thanks blueblahbleh. I will answer it soon. I'm halfway through typing out an email to the guy in my autism team, funnily enough. Gave a brief outline of what happened here. I can't decide whether to delete the whole thing, and just say "yes, 10am on Wednesday will be fine" or to carry on. He did ask if me or my mum wanted to bring anything up for discussion... Well, my mum is hopeless at thinking of anything to ask, so it's up to me.

I'm being perfectly polite, but it is kinda negative. I can visualise him slowly backing away, much like my stoma nurse did with an anguished email of mine once.

Eloa
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28 Nov 2014, 5:53 pm

NiceCupOfTea wrote:

@Eloa - Several people are on the case in trying to help me move out. My housing officer has been brilliant and is a large part of the reason why I haven't given up. But the decision ultimately rests with the council - if they say no, the only option left is private renting. If they say yes, I'll have to go into homelessness accommodation for a while but should become a higher priority for social housing.

It is very good you have support in it.
The council has to do with social housing?
I am not English native, do not really know how it works in other countries.
Well, I have lived in two countries., I only know how it works in the country I live in now.
Would private renting be a problem?
Are you financially supported?
I hope it will work out well for you.

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kraftiekortie
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28 Nov 2014, 5:57 pm

In England, the local Council has a lot to do with "social housing." Many people live in "council flats," which vary widely in quality. Some of them are actually quite good. Some of them are akin to "projects" in the United States (very bad).

Private renting would probably make it more difficult for NCOT. I hope she gets a decent Council flat. And go on from there, using it as a base to improve herself, away from the influence of her parents.

Eloa
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28 Nov 2014, 6:06 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

Thank you for the explanation, kraftiekortie (what does your username mean, I hear German and Dutch in it, but I can be mistaken).
In the country I live in to get a social appartment or flat or studio can take a long while, I hope it is different for the situation of NiceCupOfTea.
I do not know what NCOT means.

kraftiekortie
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28 Nov 2014, 6:11 pm

NCOT is short for "Nice Cup of Tea."

My last name is Dutch. It means "short land"--meaning we used to live on low-lying land in the Netherlands. Then again LOL, ALL land in the Netherlands is extremely low ("short") in elevation.

I'm an American, born and raised in NYC. Most of our family hasn't lived in the Netherlands since the 19th century. We were weird, in that we were Dutch CATHOLICS.

When something's on sale in the Netherlands, it's 20% KORTING, meaning "20% off the original price."

If a person is homeless, housing must be provided to one in England (but not necessarily in America). She would get a place quicker should she be forced to be homeless.

Otherwise, the wait for Council housing could be long--like years, perhaps.

Correct me if I'm wrong, NCOT.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 28 Nov 2014, 6:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

B19
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28 Nov 2014, 6:16 pm

NCOT you sound more energised today. Good for you.

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28 Nov 2014, 6:24 pm

B19 wrote:

Let's step back together and look objectively for a moment at your post and its title. First thing that I noticed from doing that is that there are 9 issues here, and that is a lot to have swirling around in your current life and thoughts. Here's the list:

1 Stress
2 Depression
3 Housing
4 Conflict with parent
5 Loneliness
6 Turning away from most people
7 Usually attracted to unavailable people
8 At the moment, life lacks meaning/seems meaningless
9 Rage, guilt and beating yourself up ("I'm A Moron with Rage Issues")

With all that going on, no wonder you are feeling stressed and depressed!

First things first: take care of your physical self - get the rest you need, the food your body needs, and find someone safe to vent and offload with (helpline?) to ease the stress effects on your body. Your cortisol level is possibly sky high right now. If you can, relax; if you can't, get a relaxation disc and lie down, shut your eyes and listen to it. Let that constant tension in your muscles, face and mind just go.

Then decide in what order you are going to address the list of issues, and then FOCUS ONLY ON ONE.

Let's say you choose housing. Draw a circle and write Housing in the centre. Around the perimeter put all the things you have to do or could do to solve this - all the ideas that come to you; don't judge them at this stage, just write each one down in a separate space and connect it with a line to the centre. You are creating a map of possibilities.

Now go around the ideas and rank them in terms of ease of completion and immediate importance.
Then make a list of these for things to do on the housing project and create a timeline: the day you will do each of the things you have identified. This will help you to focus solely on this problem for the time being.

Whatever one you choose, bring it into this kind of focused attention with a plan for action. That will help you regain a sense of power and control over your life and current circumstances.

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break on that. You can recover, and I think you will.

That advice is actually very useful for me also, in my current situations, so thank you for sharing that.

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Eloa
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28 Nov 2014, 6:40 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

NCOT is short for "Nice Cup of Tea."

I did not get that, but now it makes sense, thank you.

kraftiekortie wrote:

My last name is Dutch. It means "short land"--meaning we used to live on low-lying land in the Netherlands. Then again LOL, ALL land in the Netherlands is extremely low ("short") in elevation.

I did understand "kort" ("short" or in context "short of").
"Kraft" in German means "strenghts", "power", "force".
The combination of "kraft" and "kort" made in my brains "power" and "short", the two times "ie" do not get processed in a meaning.

kraftiekortie wrote:

I'm an American, born and raised in NYC. Most of our family hasn't lived in the Netherlands since the 19th century. We were weird, in that we were Dutch CATHOLICS.

When something's on sale in the Netherlands, it's 20% KORTING, meaning "20% off the original price."

I know the word "korting", I live in an Dutch-speaking country

kraftiekortie wrote:

If a person is homeless, housing must be provided to one in England (but not necessarily in America). She would get a place quicker should she be forced to be homeless.

Otherwise, the wait for Council housing could be long--like years, perhaps.

Correct me if I'm wrong, NCOT.

Thank you for the information.

kraftiekortie
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28 Nov 2014, 6:44 pm

The "Kraftie" part has nothing to do with my last name.

When I was 9 years old, we were having a softball tournament (softball is a variant of baseball). I used to be bullied quite a bit. We were trying to find nicknames that we could put on the back of our tee-shirts. A kid who felt sorry for me suggested that I be nicknamed "Krafty Kortie"--from the English word "crafty," meaning clever (in a practical, common-sensical sense). I took his advice. He was a good kid who tried to stick up for me.

Eloa
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28 Nov 2014, 6:48 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

You are clever and have strength, in two languages.

kraftiekortie
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28 Nov 2014, 6:50 pm

You're very sweet.

B19
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28 Nov 2014, 6:55 pm

NCOT, thank you so much for that link! I particularly loved the article there on Tesla - it says things I have wanted to read for a long time about this wrongly maligned and under-recognised genius (who may have been on the spectrum - many now think so). You have made my day

VegetableMan
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28 Nov 2014, 7:05 pm

I definitely understand what it means to feel lonely, NCOT. And I know it hurts when you reach out to connect with someone only to get rejected. That I can relate to, at the moment.

Everything will work out for the best, I'm sure! Stay positive!

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NiceCupOfTea
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28 Nov 2014, 11:39 pm

Been steadily working my way down the topic list before going to bed... >.> I watched the new version of Godzilla with my mum a few hours ago. Not the best choice of movie, as it was so loud and frenetic and I wasn't massively in the mood for it; at some point I just wanted it to be over. Even my mum said she felt exhausted after watching it!

So yeah, was too overloaded to post until an hour or two ago. And now it's stupidly late and I'm at the rambling stage of tiredness... :-/

@VegetableMan - Thanks. Yeah, loneliness and rejection hurts :-/

@B19 - I'm glad to have finally made somebody feel better rather than worse! :p I really like the Oatmeal website, so I'm glad you liked it as well.

@kraftiekortie - That's quite a sweet story about the origin of your username. And, yes, you were pretty much spot-on about social housing in the UK. You are also correct about me not wanting to go down the private renting route: too insecure and too many unscrupulous landlords out there.

@Eloa - Thank you, you do seem to be a sweet person like kraftie said. Which country are you from, if you don't mind me asking?

And now I'd better go immediately to bed... >.>

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29 Nov 2014, 6:30 am

NiceCupOfTea wrote:

Thanks, androbot.

Ironically enough, I'm not "positive" enough. I want to learn more about the dark/negative traits of having an ASD, because I believe they exist:http://www.paulcooijmans.com/asperger/asperger_summarized.html I just want to try to understand myself better and that means understanding the dark side of me. Because I do have quite a dark side, which is virtually impossible to explore with anyone in real life. I want to know if it's the ASD or not.

Thanks for link that goes into more what Asperger actually wrote then the vague generalities usually sprouted about. A lot written here and the Gillberg diagnostic criteria http://www.bbbautism.com/asp_gillberg.htm on Asperger's work more closely describes me then the DSM

It's tough posting sometimes because I want to be realistic but I don't want to write something so negative that will cause somebody to act on their suicide ideation. But I also don't want to write something so rosy and upbeat people will rightly feel patronized and that can also cause people to act on their suicidal ideation.

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