Why is eye contact hard for us?

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I was wondering what your opinions were on this. Does anyone know why we avoid or struggle with eye contact? I know Carly once said it was hard for her to take in a dozen faces all at once. It would overwhelm her and make giving it to others difficult... or something like that.

However, I'm curious about YOUR opinions on this, not what hers are.

Hmmm. Good question. Just about 30 minutes ago someone randomly stopped by (they don't know me well enough to know that I hate that) and asked me if I would like to go to his birthday party next week. I said yes, but as I was talking to him he asked why I didn't look in his eyes. I just told him it's "scary", but that's not the answer. I'm not "scared" to look into people's eyes. It's sort of like my brain freezes and I can't make my thoughts make sense when I force myself to look in someone's eyes. I can't really think of a logical explanation off the top of my head as to why we dislike eye contact.

I'm sure personal reasons are as numerous as individuals, but I've read about a few explanations. For some, looking into the eyes is completely overwhelming on a sensory level. There's simply too much 'information' to process.

For others, it's a dominance issue. The eyes carry a certain 'intensity' to them that can be off-putting to some. I think this is mostly with those in a more authoritative position. Averting gaze can be seen as submission and is even a sign of respect in some cultures.

For me, it comes from the statement that "the eyes are the windows to the soul." I feel terribly 'naked' and 'exposed' when looking directly into the eyes of someone I don't know well. I have this notion, accurate or not, that I'm subconsciously communicating 'something' with my eyes, but I'm not getting that same 'something' from the other person. Kinda abstract, I know, but I'm struggling to explain it any better than that.

its just hard for me to do.
I find that I think I am doing it but I get told that I am not doing it.

It's a physical defect. Though probably more than one.

-Optic nerve dysfunction (or better, it didn't develop normally)
-in addition to the brain with too many extra synapses, which means anything you have to process adds to the small reserve of processing we have to spare

They're two that are pretty much proven.

I used to have a very hard time making eye contact with people when I was a teen, but after people pointed out how weird it looked I forced myself to overcome it, with one exception. I can look people square in the eye when already in conversation with them, but if I'm in a room or pass someone I avoid eye contact because I feel it automatically requires some kind of verbal exchange once it has been established, and I try to avoid talking to people because it is awkward for me.

For me i cant understand what a person is saying when i am looking at them and listening at the same time, i need to look away and visualize what they are saying.

I recently participated in some experiments which were part of an ASD research study. The experiments included a series of eye tracking tests and measured such things as: locations of fixations, durations of fixations, velocity of saccades, distribution of velocities and durations, etc.

After the experiments were completed, the researcher shared we me the results of the test. My eyes seemed fixated on the mouth. The researcher explained that that my brain has a strong tendency to seek out the mouth, driving a saccade there.

It?s quite fascinating stuff.

Yeah I tend to look at a person's mouth instead. It helps me to understand what they are saying.

If I do make eye contact, it is hard to break away. Kind of like I am hypnotized by it.

Intimidation.

Almost every time someone forces eye contact with me, I'm the one that gets intimidated.

I can't listen and look at someone's eyes. It's easier to take things in if I don't have to look at one person.

That hypnotism thing happens to me too. Or I get anxious about whether I'm staring, and stop listening to what they're saying. It's a whole cluster of things.

Same as above poster. Can't take in visual and aural input simultaneously (which makes me wonder how I can watch the parts of movies in which people are onscreen and talking); if I look at the eyes, I become fixated and stop hearing.