I have many mental problems. I have problems with executive functioning and was named as "unsuitable to world". I have also many weird traits, but now I want to write about my "twitness" mainly. I do not want to name other people with problems similar to mine as "twits", of course.
I may group my "dysexecutive" symptoms in some groups:
1. Something which appear to be SCT/CDD (sluggish cognitive tempo/concentration deficit disorder). It has two main groups of symptoms:
- daydreamy-spacey (I like to daydream quite much, some of daydreams appear to be "maladptive", they are "strangely pleasant" memories; I was sometimes decribed as "present, but unconscious" (Polish: "obecny, a nieprzytomny") by my mother
- sluggish-lethargic (I like to do "everything" slow, I am rather always slow, sluggish; I rather constantly feel "drowsy-like", somewhat "fatigued", "tired" and "having less energy than others", may appear to be "in the fog"); my thinking may appear to be "slower" and I may slower respond to verbal commands or be sometimes quite easily confusable (deficit of concentration, slower tempo of cognition? - something like being always "sleepy")
SCT appears to be constant and "pervasive" problem, I do not know when it started.
2. Something which looks like ADD or other executive function disorder:
- problems with attention when something is not so interesting to me; maybe I am easily bored by less interesting themes; my auditory memory may be also not so good (but not so weak - I do not know so precisely, but maybe it is due to problems with concentration or attention)
- problems with making decisions (sometimes they were problematic to my mother)
- problems with complex tasks such as writting essays or making projects on the studies - I need some time to start
- marked procrastrination
- something which appears to be problems with prioritizing, selecting
- I like to do simple tasks, such as handwriting, but do not like complex ones
- I do not have plans for future job, have problems with "not thinking about something"; my mind may appear to be "chaotic"
It is serious problem. It may have really negative impact on my occupational abilities.
3. Something which looks like mild visual-spatial-motor disorder (true NLD):
- problems with visual thinking - it may be often "telescopic" in my case, my visual memory may be limited, I have problems with "practical" use of visual thinking
- I confused left and right when I was younger quite much, I might also confuse "inside" and "outside"
- I learned how to tie shoelaces relatively early, I had problems with eating using knife and fork
- I have marked problems with binding a tie, I can't ride a horse, swim, I have poor "typically technical" abities
- I was really poor in volleyball and had large problems with staying on head or hands (maybe I can't do it?)
4. I am physically weak (low strenght and endurance).
I would name it all as "mild pervasive developmental dysexecutiveness". I am quite hyperactive or hyperkinetic (like to fidget and walking without purpose). I do not know so precisely how impulsive I am.
Maybe my problems are associated with perinatal problems (birth weight 2160 g and body length 53 cm - very low birth body weight to length ratio (below 5th percentile), also low birth weigth (below 2500 g), my mother was ill before my birth and I had dystrophy after birth).
I do not know how to do. I think that my dysexecutiveness may limit my occupational abilities. What it is? I think that it may not be true ADHD. I may have difficulties with imagining my life without such a dysexecutiveness.