How well do Aspies communicate with each other?

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Vertetuesi
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08 Dec 2014, 5:58 pm

I have no particular knowledge of the answer to this question, but as I don't recall it coming up on the forum lately I'd like to raise it in its own thread.

A major part of the Asperger diagnosis has to do with difficulties in non-verbal communication in particular. However given that neurotypicals are big on this, it occurred to me to wonder whether Aspies would find the same difficulty in communicating with each other? Could it be that if they prefer exclusively verbal means, they'd actually find it much easier to cope with each other, not only in writing (as is clear on this forum), but speaking face to face?

Or would they tend to talk past each other, e.g. if two Aspies have quite unrelated favourite topics of intense personal interest?

Looking forward to reading the collective wisdom of the WP community ;)



MikeLacey
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08 Dec 2014, 6:06 pm

In my experience, limited I'll admit, aspies *only* communicate well in writing.



BassAlien
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08 Dec 2014, 6:17 pm

All of the people I have got on with most have either been diagnosed aspies or suspected aspies, for me I believe the answer is simple. Although in most cases, these friendships have nevertheless dissolved due to misunderstandings. But they have lasted longer than my average friendship with an NT, and meant more.



JitakuKeibiinB
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08 Dec 2014, 6:19 pm

I've only knowingly spoken to one other autistic person (though he had autistic disorder, not Asperger's). I said one word and he backed out of the room while apologizing profusely. So I'm skeptical.



KnowledgeSeeker
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08 Dec 2014, 8:03 pm

Ohh this is a fun topic. From my experience, I would say very well. I have Aspergers and so does my wife and we have been married for over eight years. I would be willing to talk more about this topic via pm if you wish.


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08 Dec 2014, 8:18 pm

In my experience, it was awful worse than dealing with NTs.


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Dylstew2
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09 Dec 2014, 3:19 am

Very well, actually. I'm at a school mainly for autistic kids(although that's changing, but it used to be).
I thought my social skills wouldn't develop because I'd be talking to people that also had poor social skills.
But that's not true at all, they do still develop. We communicate pretty well with eachother since the start, just a bit in a different way. So I don't know if ''normal'' people would call it well, but still. Also, I remember when I went to a drawing class, and the first guy I befriended turned out to also be autistic. I guess kind seeks kind.

I do think it depends on the person though, and the circumstances that person has been in.



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09 Dec 2014, 3:42 am

I think aspies communicate better with each other to some degree as they don't read into things which aren't there, but at the same time, they communicate worse because communication is more limited on both sides. It's like two hard of hearing people shouting at each other while making signs. They can read each other's signing better, but they are still missing most of what they are saying verbally. Anyway, from my personal experience, yes, we communicate better, but there are still big misunderstandings.


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Edna3362
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09 Dec 2014, 9:45 am

I wish I had know how aspies communicate with each other in real life. Or at least encounter any. For all I know is that I'm better at writing than speaking at all.

NTs ALSO has mis communications with other NT regardless their social skills -- because sometimes, words fail and not all point of views matches. Whether they fake it or not. And double meanings didn't helped either, sometimes turns things hilarious when you know the translations. XD


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09 Dec 2014, 10:46 am

Interesting question that I've wondered about myself. Since childhood (I was only diagnosed this year as an adult), I've noticed that I seem to "get" kids who were Aspies or on the spectrum. Part of that is probably because I didn't consider their behavior all that odd as it mirrored my own behaviors in varying degrees.

As an adult, I don't know any other confirmed ASD/ Aspies in real life. But when I consider the people I tend to identify with most closely, I've become aware that many of them have at least some traits that suggest they might be on the spectrum. I do have friendships with a select few NTs, but I'd guess that most of the people with whom I have a lot in common tend to be undiagnosed people with strong autistic traits.

(I'm only diagnosed as high-functioning ASD since by the time I got my diagnosis in 2014, Asperger's was off the menu as an official diagnosis - at least here in the US.)



olympiadis
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09 Dec 2014, 2:54 pm

I have only some experiences, but it seems that when the thinking methodology is similar enough, then the communication is much better and enjoyable for both, especially in writing.

Even if problems do come up, they seem like nothing compared to the constant conflict and anxiety from interactions with NTs ( not all NTs, but a large percentage of them ).

I think it is probably much easier for us to empathize with other aspies, and overall be less distrustful.



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09 Dec 2014, 9:27 pm

Ganondox wrote:
I think aspies communicate better with each other to some degree as they don't read into things which aren't there


I'm not sure that's true based on some posts on this forum.

I used to think that reading into things was an NT trait, but now I think that there are gradations of reading into things that vary by personality type and situational factors as well as neurology.



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09 Dec 2014, 9:32 pm

People usually try to "read into things" because they are afraid that they are being duped in some way. They might not trust what is directly imparted onto them--instead, they search for "hidden meanings."



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10 Dec 2014, 1:30 am

About as well as we communicate with NTs, worse if there's a significant functionality gap, or both parties possess obscure special interests and a tendency to monologue.


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EzraS
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10 Dec 2014, 1:40 am

I go to a school for kids with autism and the aspie / high functioning kids talk to each other a lot. The cafeteria is usually pretty noisy with all the talking. They get along with each other pretty well for the most part. I think it's much easier for them being with kids like them than if they were in regular school.



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10 Dec 2014, 10:34 pm

starkid wrote:
Ganondox wrote:
I think aspies communicate better with each other to some degree as they don't read into things which aren't there


I'm not sure that's true based on some posts on this forum.

I used to think that reading into things was an NT trait, but now I think that there are gradations of reading into things that vary by personality type and situational factors as well as neurology.


Of course there is still some reading into things, but not as much and not in the same manner. I was also talking about talking face to face as well.


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