I Would Say...

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That I am getting so tired of a few on the forums making threads or posts where they single out another member as seeming 'NT' or as not fitting in, or, in Sunnycat's case, as being a wolf in sheep's clothing... I would ask, who is anyone else on here to decide whether another member is NT or not? Considering the number of us on here who are self diagnosed, one might suggest there are probably many NTs on here who for one reason or another find themselves greatly identifying with those on the spectrum. Everyone is an individual, NT or AS, in the end...we might view things differently and there may be certain deficiencies in both, but in the end, in my honest opinion, no-one is qualified to say 'you sound NT' or 'you seem aspie' other than the person themselves. I find such behaviour immensely irritating and quite ignorant, actually, and usually, I note, someone says such things when something they have said is bought up or questioned...disagreement brings up this NT versus AS sort of thing, if that makes sense...you disagree with me, hence you must be NT... you do not show the same 100% analytical, scientific mind, hence you must be NT... you post topics about singers(not that I have done this), hence you must be NT. Good god, differences or not, we are all human, and those who find their way to wp and who find themselves at home here, generally find this is the case because they, for one reason or another, have or share ASD traits.

How could anyone see anything wolfish in Sunnycat? The line between AS and NT is blurrier than most people know (NTs hate to admit this, see the mother talks about killing autistic daughter thread). "Syndrome" means nothing more than a generally matching group of traits. Some people are more AS than others. Some people who don't have enough of the traits to officially be AS still may have some of the traits. If I got singled out too much I would probably leave this board (unless I was in a messed up mental state when it happened, then I'd probably do something like Atomika).

I think people shouldn't even MAKE threads about it.

I agree.

Graelwyn,

Yeah, one thread even asked people to decide if non officially diagnosed people should be accepted. As a kid, I might have looked at someone as I am now and figured that, while I have it, that person doesn't. The difference was that striking. But, you know what?!? Apparantly that is a COMMON experience among aspies! There was a thread about that on ASDGESTALT!

The fact is that, no offense, if I was not so aspie like, I would NOT come here, would NOT say much of what I do here, and I would probably think you guys and gals were NUTS! Autism? YEAH RIGHT! Heck, some here, EVEN DIAGNOSED, don't want to consider AS part of the autistic spectrum.

The fact is that some of the "diagnosed" look to be less AS than I do, and some of the undiagnosed are BOUND to be AS! I am undiagnosed solely because I was checked BEFORE such things were considered in the US, and see no reason to pay money and time for an official diagnosis at this time.

My report cards, family history, relationships, etc... are LITTERED with evidence of AS though! Just ask my employers or some of my customers about how I am unusual, or my experience, and it has an earily familiar ring! I guess I should have suspected a connection the whole time.

But yeah, even if someone IS NT.... If they add something to the forum, why should anyone say they should get off or try to discourage them?

Steve

Last edited by SteveK on 10 Mar 2007, 6:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My childhood and indeed, adulthood are littered with evidence... I imagine many others here upon first stumbling across AS etc, found themselves reading all they could before they would accept they had it... I did anyway. I did not want to allot myself a label for the sake of having a label. I think many here have probably had a lifetime of feeling the 'odd one out' and so many would probably take offence at it being insinuated that they do not belong here either, lol.

I can bet you that at least a few of those we consider to be the most aspie-like, would get a dx of NT if they went through with it...so yes, I think there is a very blurry and tenuous line between being on the spectrum(because spectrum does indeed cover such a wide range of traits) and being 'NT'. I gotta love the way some throw the word 'NT' around as if it is the ultimate insult. though at times, I must admit, I consider it would be an insult to be described as Nt.

You're right. SAME HERE! I think I have only come close like twice. Both were trouble makers, and one even said she wanted to get kicked off. Of course, spammers don't count. I think all spammers are ALL vermin.

And don't you LOVE starbuline?(not sarc). I wish I always stated things like that so succintly! Yeah, I didn't like threads like that being created either. At least THIS one has the presumption of tolerance. Most of the threads are helpful in some way. I even like the kind of icebreaker type questions spacecase often asks!

And I DO wish that people didn't make AS out to be 100% bad. It isn't 100% bad.

Steve

I can identify with the childhood thing you and SteveK talk about. One thing that clicked with me as I read (among so many other things) was all the comments from other kids that ended up in my Senior album. "Why don't you ever smile?" "Remember, it doesn't hurt to smile." "Try to remember that it's okay to actually feel something once in awhile." They weren't even saying that to be bullies. I think they thought I actually didn't want to smile and they were confused as to why! Why wouldn't they be? Nothing in their experience would allow them to understand that.

Then, there are all the letters and later emails that say, "You talk over my head." "I always have to get out the dictionary when you write to me." "How do you know all of this stuff?" "You talk like a teacher." It goes on and on.

I'm also with Steve in that right now I don't know what an official diagnosis would get me besides days off work to get it and probably a bill for my effort. Since Attwood quotes that only 35% of diagnosticians agree on the diagnosis, I'm not really thrilled to do that if I've learned to deal with all this.

For me, it's more of an exploration to be here. I identify with most, but not with some. I have more shared experiences with the dino Aspies because we had similar experiences growing up. I have sharp differences with the younger Aspies because many had vastly different experiences in school and this shapes us both so we see things very differently. Where dinos seemed odd and different, not much pressure was actually put on us day in and out by the schools to conform. We were odd and that's the way it was. They wanted us to just graduate and get out of there because they didn't know what the heck we were. The younger Aspies have grown up with immense pressure to conform to the NT world along with tons of reasons why they have to do so. The dinos kind of know that's a crock because we didn't and most of us made it through in our own muddling way. We had problems, but we figured it out and adjusted enough to be us and get by. The younger NTs don't seem to feel they have that option and it's putting incredible pressure on them from what I see on here. They can fake it, but they can never really be NT. That causes terrible stress.

So, maybe it's a case of those people don't really understand because we are so different. Maybe some older Aspies. who have more issues than I do or even just picked a less suited career and had fallout as a result, just feel our experiences should have been the same. Maybe they don't understand why they aren't.

Most of all, I think we all have communication issues with each other and not just NTs. We are all at different places on the spectrum. This is bound to cause issues when we try to discuss things. Some don't explain things well. Some don't read things completely. Some have problems in both. I'm certainly not perfect and I don't think any of us are. All we can do is try to recognize that and do the best we can. We are like a family. We won't all get along all the time.

If that seems un-Aspie of me, blame it on my experiences in management. I had it beat into me figuratively. Like all the rest, I'm just doing the best I can to learn about this and understand. I'm just trying to decide if I should get diagnosed and why. It's a journey we are all taking, no more or less.

Oh man, I didn't realize what you were talking about. I have now seen the posts by that mightyhermaphrodite about sunnycat. That's horrible. I hope she returns, it would be terrible if she left over some stupid stalker like that.

Yes, this post was inspired by that, other various comments regarding NT and AS, and someone saying that I sound NT...which I found offensive, though I am not sure why, lol.

This has turned into the big insult on Asperger's boards... "And you don't even have Asperger's." Jeesh, like they couldn't think of anything else?

It's simple pack mentality. Tell the person you want to punish that they don't belong in the pack, and you're virtually guaranteed to hurt them and lower their position in the "pack." Especially if they have been an outcast already most of their lives (most of us here have).

A diagnosis or self-diagnosis will always be subjective. I think it's imperative that we accept people here, or at any Asperger's board, at face value. Sure, we are all entitled to our own private opinions, and yes, there are occasionally people who I wonder about, if they are really anything related to AS or not, but I would never dream of ridiculing them in public by declaring that they don't have Asperger's.

Because I am only human, and I could very much be wrong in any of my opinions.

I don't know about NT - or AS ,,, but

I ave noticed a 'Repition' - Reposting of already asked question .. cut and paste style.... like the question about duaghter language.... were the answers last week not good enough?

--or is it that WP is a great recourse for righting the next 'Self Help' AS book? --and It's just a Physchotherapist/Writer ,, trying to get 'the right' cut and paste awnswer ,,, therfore being able to compile they're book....

....It's the main reason I try to answer wuestions in a 'Fromat' which doesn't agree with ,, the intrctional essay. ...making all anwsers as vain as possible, and examples as abstract as possible (not using my own experience, instead comparing too an abstract concept)

why does everyone get so upset if they say you dont have aspergers? like who cares what they think. people being knowitalls is never going to change so dont let it get to you.

I don't see why people would have the audacity to pretend that they are on the spectrum.

Yeah, I am very sick of the whole "NTs are bad" thing. We're all people, after all, and not everyone is bad. And by accusing them and singling others out, that's just being a bully, which is the last thing we should want to be.

My AS testing scores place me in between NT and AS, but I have a lot of the major indicators. I think I have improved over time, and that my traits were far more pronounced when I was a child than they are now. I am not "typical" by any means. I make my share of social gaffes and can't engage in small talk. I think the statement, "So and so doesn't have AS," is offensive. It manifests itself differently in different people.