Motivation comes from relationships, right?

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Mootoo
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23 Dec 2014, 9:06 am

As such, one who has none has no reason to have any, right?



Fnord
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23 Dec 2014, 9:17 am

Motivation arises from want or need.

Relationships don't motivate me, except maybe to want fewer relationships.



kraftiekortie
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23 Dec 2014, 9:19 am

I happen to feel that my own subjective experience is not enough to really obtain a great amount of knowledge of things.

I'm not a person with many friends, or many "relationships"--

But I do get motivated by other people, because I could "feed off them." I could use their input to enhance my input.



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23 Dec 2014, 9:25 am

You can be motivated by just wanting to know why--no relationship required. For instance, folks used to wonder why radio signals would fade in and out in a very distinctive manner at particular times.

Then there is the drive to be first--as exemplified by the movie "The Big Year." If you want to see more birds than anyone else in a calendar year, relationships just get in the way...

OTOH, in real life, the top birders have wives who support their obsession.

I've done a lot of stuff while single--toured dozens of states. I've visited places like Pikes Peak and gone to far more attractions than the average tourist by getting up early and avoiding the crowds. Sure helps in conversations if you have been there and done that.



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23 Dec 2014, 10:40 am

I don't think motivation only comes from relationships, though I don't feel so much motivation when I'm on my own. My life seems to go round in ever-decreasing circles when I'm alone for too long. So I agree, a lot of motivation is social. I don't like to let people down, I don't like to seem the only one in a group who doesn't do anything. Even answering questions like this on WP, if it weren't for the questions coming in from out there, I doubt that I'd think of the topics myself and write down what I thought. Commitments, even awkward ones, seem to keep me alive somehow. If nobody cared what I did, then I wouldn't do much.

People help me to think of things. I have great trouble picking one thing from a list, and they often save me the bother by doing it for me.

Also they have ideas that sometimes interest me strongly, ideas that I'd probably not stumble on if I were alone. Somebody the other day was talking about the placebo effect and its implications for the ability of the mind to control fear, pessimism, low spirits, etc. I'd been feeling rather sluggish and negative for weeks, but after hearing the stuff about placebos, I magically started to feel better as I questioned whether my negative feelings were really as out of my control as I'd been assuming they were.



eggheadjr
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23 Dec 2014, 10:58 am

I know I'm a lot more motivated in certain areas because of my wife. It's not that I'm lazy or anything - she is just able to get me to push my boundaries a bit in certain areas (mostly to do with socializing).


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ToughDiamond
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23 Dec 2014, 11:27 am

eggheadjr wrote:
I know I'm a lot more motivated in certain areas because of my wife. It's not that I'm lazy or anything - she is just able to get me to push my boundaries a bit in certain areas (mostly to do with socializing).

It's good isn't it? One of the things I love about my gf is that she gets me off my butt, though she doesn't actively try to get me to do much. It's more like things happen to us and we deal with them, and I feel part of a team.



Who_Am_I
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23 Dec 2014, 6:36 pm

Why do you think motivation comes from relationships?


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Jezebel
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23 Dec 2014, 6:50 pm

No, motivation comes from a variety of different things - for example, even if you're tired in the morning, you still get up to eat breakfast, shower, or use the bathroom (so you would be motivated by human needs). You may also be motivated by the fact that you have a job to go to or something important to attend. You may be interested in reading this if you'd like to learn more about motivation.

My curiosity tends to be my motivation. I'm not even interested in a relationship right now.


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ToughDiamond
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24 Dec 2014, 9:00 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
Why do you think motivation comes from relationships?

I don't think relationships are the main source of motivation, just that they're an important source, assuming the desire to be in a relationship is strong in the first place (reproductive instinct is presumably behind that). I would think self-preservation is a stronger motivator, e.g. if a tiger chased me I would work very hard to escape. Most of us have rendered ourselves so physically safe that we don't really notice self-preservation from day to day.