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Being told your mean?

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Deb1970
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18 Jan 2015, 10:55 pm

Apparently my sense of humor is considered mean. Does anyone else notice that people call them mean?


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nick007
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18 Jan 2015, 11:59 pm

I've been called mean times when I thought I was just being honest & upfront about something.


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Luzhin
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19 Jan 2015, 12:41 am

I've been told many times that I am mean. Perhaps they are right but I doubt it. More likely my impatience with the foolishness of some people is confused with meanness.



Jezebel
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19 Jan 2015, 1:07 am

Yes. Many of us are just blunt. I think that's what people often consider mean.

Luzhin wrote:
I've been told many times that I am mean. Perhaps they are right but I doubt it. More likely my impatience with the foolishness of some people is confused with meanness.

I do this too. Stupidity and people spreading false information are two of my biggest pet peeves, and especially if it has to do with my special interests.


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Luzhin
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19 Jan 2015, 1:29 am

Jezebel wrote:
Yes. Many of us are just blunt. I think that's what people often consider mean.

Luzhin wrote:
I've been told many times that I am mean. Perhaps they are right but I doubt it. More likely my impatience with the foolishness of some people is confused with meanness.

I do this too. Stupidity and people spreading false information are two of my biggest pet peeves, and especially if it has to do with my special interests.



I think you are right. Many times when I am just blunt and straight to the point people say I am mean. However, my intent was not to be mean but simply to inform or get my point across.
If my intent was to be mean there would be no doubt about it as I've gotten quite proficient in the art of meanness...if it is called for.



Jezebel
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19 Jan 2015, 3:00 am

Luzhin wrote:
I think you are right. Many times when I am just blunt and straight to the point people say I am mean. However, my intent was not to be mean but simply to inform or get my point across.
If my intent was to be mean there would be no doubt about it as I've gotten quite proficient in the art of meanness...if it is called for.


Yep, same here. If I'm being blunt, it's usually because that's the only way I can say what I want to say and as you said, still get the point across clearly.


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Edna3362
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19 Jan 2015, 3:11 am

Quite often whenever I interact. Aside from bluntness, it's also when I'm not able to control my voice. They thought I'm yelling at people. Sometimes mistaken me for throwing tantrums.
Or being 'intentional' when I really don't know my own physical strength. So it's not just in a verbal way I end up being called mean...


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19 Jan 2015, 11:14 pm

I was called mean as a kid. One of them was because I was clumsy so I kept accidentally kicking other kids on the monkey bars and it was always an accident and they would get mad at me about it and thought I was mean. Then I didn't want to be around them the following year or the year after that and the year after that and it was also because they made fun of my speech issues and gave me a hard time about it.

I haven't been called mean as an adult.


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eggheadjr
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20 Jan 2015, 1:39 pm

nick007 wrote:
I've been called mean times when I thought I was just being honest & upfront about something.


^^^ yup - me too. Guilty as charged.


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olympiadis
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20 Jan 2015, 2:00 pm

Communicating information without wrapping it up in deception, and/or failing to serve identity/hierarchy, is generally considered mean.

NT communication has very little to do with the transfer of real information, if any at all.

If you're not clearly trying to manipulate the feelings of others to make them feel good, then it is assumed that you must intend them to feel bad.

This type of dichotomy has designed itself into the system of social interaction.


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