do NT's notice that we don't have body language?
I know I personally, don't move my body around at all. My face is like a mask, I don't smile, frown etc.
I read online that NT's are giving off signals all the time... I was wondering do you think they notice that I don't give off any? How would they interpret that? Since they give off signals ALL the time, and I never do?
OliveOilMom
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Of course people would notice if you didn't move at all when you talk and didn't ever make facial expressions. Even if you don't do it most of the time, it's normal to do it at least some of the time. People will notice that. I'd really suggest you learn to do it. I had to learn to remember to smile at people when I'm talking to them sometimes. It's still something I forget and have to remind myself of. As for body movement, well I'm half Italian. If you tie my hands I wouldn't be able to speak
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I have tried but its hard. I dont know which to make, which muscles to move, how it looks. It overwhelms me because it is so unnatural.
My rule is smile when they look at you smiling or when they say something funny. You can practice your smile in front of a mirror until you perfect it, and then use it around people to see the result.
As for me, I don't know how to make a frown or an angry face. I've been asked before "do you even get angry?" And boy, do I get angry.
But I smile a lot, and it makes people feel more comfortable around me. Although, seeing it in the mirror, it looks more like a smirk than a smile. Perhaps I should work on that.
I doubt that this is true. I think it means that all people give off signals all the time, and that includes people with ASD. It doesn't mean that autistics don't give off signals, but that they may be the wrong ones.
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"They sound good in my brain, then my tongue makes not the words sound very good, formally." - Homer Simpson
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NTs read clues all the time, whether they are given or not.
in our case, we do not give out any, which is also a signal; the absence of any... they will realise that nothing is there, and assume we are actively masking/hiding our signals.
as an aside, i do not agree with the notion that those with an ASD do not give off signals, we give off 'different' ones.
the lack of signals is more a lack of expected ones, or simply the wrong ones. like giving a "happy" face with an "angry" body coupled with a "sad" voice.
I display body language and facial expressions without a problem. I know when to smile, I frown if I'm angry, etc etc. But body language and all of that is too subtle to just explain in words. But I know body language and all of that sort of thing when I see it.
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the lack of signals is more a lack of expected ones, or simply the wrong ones. like giving a "happy" face with an "angry" body coupled with a "sad" voice.
It seems like this is the case for me (giving off 'different' signals). My wife is constantly asking why I feel this way or that, based upon incorrectly interpreting my facial expressions and body language.
My rule is smile when they look at you smiling or when they say something funny. You can practice your smile in front of a mirror until you perfect it, and then use it around people to see the result.
As for me, I don't know how to make a frown or an angry face. I've been asked before "do you even get angry?" And boy, do I get angry.
But I smile a lot, and it makes people feel more comfortable around me. Although, seeing it in the mirror, it looks more like a smirk than a smile. Perhaps I should work on that.
I doubt that this is true. I think it means that all people give off signals all the time, and that includes people with ASD. It doesn't mean that autistics don't give off signals, but that they may be the wrong ones.
Hmm idk. Once I tried smiling at my sister. She got really creeped out said it looked painful, weird, unnatural. She told me if I ever looked at someone like that it would freak them out.
I'm seem to be overly expressive with my body language. Even when I mildly irritated I come off to others as very pissed off. When I'm sad I look pissed off. When I'm in deep thought I look pissed off. When I'm smiling people think I'm pissed off because my eye brows.
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People tend to think I'm pissed off all the time too... or overly demanding when I think I'm just asking nicely for something to be done.
The only thing I'm good at is sexual body language -- if I'm aroused, my body will just take over from my brain if I let it... unfortunately, I haven't been truly aroused in a very long time
So, romantic/sexual relationships have always been easiest for me to cultivate (with men, anyway... women's signals are so confusing that I get too nervous)... but I'm married now, so I'm stuck with the one that isn't working
I'm the opposite, when having a conversation I am constantly smiling, and have to remind myself to stop smiling and start frowning/look shocked if someone says something sad or shocking, or in general to just look neutral sometimes so that my conversation partner doesn't get creeped out by the neverending smile. My cheeks always hurt after conversations because of smiling so much. XD
My smiling and body language are self-taught behaviours, and even though they are a tad over-exaggerated, it's better than me just being expressionless and robotic all the time. I agree with the suggestion of practicing in the mirror. And then in your next conversation just go for it, who care if it's a little over-exaggerated, it's better than nothing.
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Yes, there have been instances where NT's have picked up on my lack of facial expressions. I remember a while back, during a Health and Social Care lesson, we were expected to do a role play of a "care environment" or something like that and my teacher commented on how I lacked facial expression and described my body language as "blank".
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They don't notice because lack of expressions is also an expression. This one related to feeling sad or angry.
When they notice the "expression" they usually ask you:
- Are you OK?
Which makes you wonder where that question came from since you are feeling just fine. But when you tell them "I'm fine" they don't believe you and understand it as "Something bothers her/him but for some reason she/he doesn't want to tell us about that".
When they notice the "expression" they usually ask you:
- Are you OK?
Which makes you wonder where that question came from since you are feeling just fine. But when you tell them "I'm fine" they don't believe you and understand it as "Something bothers her/him but for some reason she/he doesn't want to tell us about that".
![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
How could no expression be interpreted as anger?
When they notice the "expression" they usually ask you:
- Are you OK?
Which makes you wonder where that question came from since you are feeling just fine. But when you tell them "I'm fine" they don't believe you and understand it as "Something bothers her/him but for some reason she/he doesn't want to tell us about that".
![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
I get this one all the time. I know how to fake some basic body language stuff: I stare at people instead of making eye contact and I mirror the other person's boy language if they're not talking about something personal (otherwise it's weird). But sometimes I'm way to tired for any of this, so I just act natural (for me) and suddenly everyone around is concerned!
I mean, I understand why they react like this, but geez, I'm just too tired to fake anything, no need to worry so much and try to "crack my shell" to see what's "wrong" with me. I'm fine!
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