Grommit wrote:
My father was schizophrenic too, so I have always been sceptical about schizophrenia also.
I remember as a child I used to think that the pictures I saw in my head were schizophrenic. I used to be able to stare at patterns really closely and squint my eyes and I could pretend I was looking at a scene from another planet, and if the texture, colour was right I could manipulate the shadows or contrasts to morph into animals or little people. Which I can still do now but I don't. I think this was related to when I was stressed I would do things like this and it would calm me down.
If there is something I am unfamiliar with, like a street or building or somebody shows me a photograph, I think sometimes my mind tries to fill in the gaps and I see something else, like a distortion. It's like I can't tell which way around the picture is in the photograph. It's like I'm saying to myself that looks strange, and then "oh yeah" as the actual picture pops into view.
Ever since I was a child shadows would bend and flicker and also I can stare at a light and I can see my own pupils dilating and contracting and the light would dim and get brighter.
Sometimes I've looked at shadows and I swear there isn't a shadow there.
I think I induce some of mine because I can stare at a
Street lamp. When I look away it can create an orb in my vision, if I focus on the orb it becomes more pronounced and starts floating in front of my face, I have seen this orb in green, red, and bluish purple, although staring at lights also induces headaches.
I can be looking at a clear blue sky, and It can look like it's snowing, I get loads of sparkly stars that float around my eyes.
The other hallucination I get and this happens when I am really stressed, is when I close my eyes I see swirly patterns, shapes, colours, sometimes I have closed my eyes and normally It would be black but sometimes this has turned to sheer white. A blinding white. I can't always make out the shapes sometimes there not that pronounced and they just play around in the background.
I can lucid dream if I am really tired and I will dream before I deep sleep.
But none of this I would describe as disturbing.
That all sounds pretty normal
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Femaline
Special Interest: Beethoven