hi WP I'm new to this site and would please like some insight from people that have/are experiencing mental illness/syndrome.
I've been in discussion with doctors for about four years now with no result or diagnosis..they can't quite put a finger on my condition and it bothers me because i feel like the people around me don't understand me as much as i do and it is impacting all of our lives. i have trouble fitting in with the 'normal social way' and am known to be pretty awkward. the professionals have suggested some things such as bi polar, depression and/or psychosis/schizophrenia however upon conducting my own research i am doubtful that i have psychosis or schizophrenia as i do not experience hallucinations of any sort, although some might say i am somewhat delusional in my perception of reality but for me it is more a matter of a curious, wandering mind rather than solid beliefs. as for bi polar, i feel it could be possible but possibly not. i mean sometimes i feel really good (often when i find someone i can relate to) and then other times i feel like packing it all in and running off to live in the wilderness somewhere. I've forced myself into a habit of remaining active and still see my friends often although other than my closest friends i struggle to develop connections with friends of friends, family and people i don't know, although I'm not entirely afraid of trying. i have never felt comfortable opening up to anyone in my family and tend to avoid eye contact and conversation (sorry). learning in school always came naturally to me and i was able to breeze through work without having to put much effort in no matter what subject (i don't know if that has anything to do with anything)...but i have never been good at sports. i do love to surf regardless.
I'm 22 now and this is not something that has only happened in the past few years, i feel like i have always been me. its just that now in the real world of having a job and healthy relationships it is becoming too much of a struggle. if anyone has any questions or can maybe help me out i would really appreciate what you have to say. or perhaps I'm just a 'normal' guy who happens to be awkward...
p.s sorry if i posted this in the wrong bit
18 Feb 2015, 9:24 am
