Anyone else attempted suicide?

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Last May I attempted suicide and took enough pills to kill myself but my wife found me and got me to the ER. The last thing I remember is going out like a light and then about 48 hours later woke up only to realize that I was still alive. There are no words of the way that I felt when I woke up! Without a doubt this was the most horrible and relieving feeling that I have ever felt. On one hand I was still alive after taking so many pills. The other was that I had done that to my family.

The experience of waking up was so bad. I felt like I had been hit by a truck and was so drugged. It was horrible. There were people there but I kept going in and out. When I did get out of ICU then I got to spend the next week in lockdown because of what I had done. I guess when I was out due to the meds that I had taken I was in constant seizures for the whole time I was out so I spent the next few days with soreness and feeling extremely drugged. It took months before I stopped feeling the effects of what it did to my body chemistry.

Now that I have done this to my family specifically to my wife, she is having a hard time. Feelings of just glad that I made it, anger that I would do something like that to myself, anger that I would leave my kids and family with no father, and may other emotions, fear that I will attempt it again, difficulty with all the med changes I have had and the volatile mood swings.

There are days that I feel like I am in a dream and now it is not so bad but at first it was bad. I feel like I have been given a second chance at life but a near death experience will change a person forever. Because for all intensive purposes I should not be here.

We are making it through the process but it is rough. I still struggle with everything that has happened and still have an extreme amount of guilt.

Are there others that have had this experience and what is your story? How did you get through the guilt? How did it change things in your life? Do you still have thoughts of suicide? Thoughts?

I'm sorry that happened to you.

I once tried to choke myself because I was emotionally in pain due to a really bad break up. The relationship that that I broke up from was emotionally abusive to a degree, and my ex-boyfriend from it was harassing me for revenge for crap he caused on himself. Part of me wanted to die and be free of the pain. But as I was choking myself I realized I didn't want to die so I stopped. The suicidal thoughts continued but I didn't want to die, and now I am glad I decided to live. I graduated high school, started college, and started dating someone who is there for me. I am thankful I didn't end my life that night, and things do get better in time. It will get better.

I've never attempted suicide nor had suicidal thoughts. But rarely during when I feel down, I feel that I don't care if I die, get injured, or alive. Luckily, these thoughts go away quickly.

Well... I have been suicidal many times in my life, and I've tried smothering myself with a pillow, tightened belts/cords around my neck, held the tip of a sharp knife right up against an artery, etc.
But never followed through with it, obviously, since I'm still alive.

I felt it was a waste of time to feel guilty. I spent a lot of time thinking very seriously about the decision and my life (at the time) was so miserable and hopeless that I wasn't too worried about how my surroundings felt. I didn't expect people around me to understand nor show empathy to my decision and I didn't put it on myself to show empathy towards why they were mad at me. I just didn't care.

I suppose since I failed, the best I could do is apologize and move on, if they wanted to. And they did. And we (my family) grew from it and moved on. They could either dwell on the past or focus on the future, it was up to them. They say suicide is selfish, and maybe it is, but it's not like anyone's ever been able to show empathy towards one's decision to commit suicide unless they've actually been inside their mind, and they haven't. Either way, suicide is a horrible idea.

No why would I want to kill myself? Theres no wifi in heaven m8. I woudn't be able to pwn noobs in Runescape or shoot campers on Call of duty. How do people even entertain themselves up there? Ur not even allowed to bring anything with you. How dumb is that?

I think i'll just stay here for a while longer.