How come this is hard for me?

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All my life I've had a hard time telling stories in a succinct manner. When I tell someone about something that happened, I feel like they won't get it unless I go into a long explanation, giving them context. This would get me yelled at as a kid and even now. Whenever I try to tell my mom a story, she exasperatedly yells, "Get to the point!! !? Is this a common thing or am i just an idiot?

Think of your long, detailed stories as a tool for teaching others the art of patience. It sounds like some people are in need of lessons.

Lol, my mom has as much patience as I have ability to fly.

I think it's a very common autistic trait:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums/viewt ... 3&t=119632

I do it all the time, just as you described, so I tend not to tell many stories except in writing. I can tell a two-line joke, but if it's several lines long, I'm not likely to ever get to the end of it. And that's when I'm just repeating a joke I've previously heard told properly.

I keep flying off at tangents to whatever I'm supposed to be talking about, and sometimes I never get back to the original line of thought at all. The moment I see anything the audience might not understand immediately, I add background info and explanations, most of which just isn't needed. It's as if I need to catch every fleeting association my brain makes, and describe it completely. Each thought seems essential at the time.

It's particularly annoying because I can't understand why I can't stop doing it. I know perfectly well that "less is more," and it should be easy to learn to tell stories normally. But it's not. The only progress I've made has been by just staying quiet.

Glad to know I'm not the only one. I usually have to warn people. Unfortunately I'm one of the Aspies who like to talk, and then annoy the pants off everyone.

If somebody could be persuaded to listen and shout "TANGENT!" every time it happened, maybe it would be fixable that way, with enough practice.

Lol yes. Or maybe if people would just accept others and bear with them.

Yes, this is common for us.
We don't like uncertainty, so we are reluctant to introduce it into a conversation.

NTs apparently thrive on uncertainty and get some enjoyment from rushing to wrong conclusions because of lack of facts or context. Perhaps it's like an emotional roller coaster for them. Some added risk or drama.

Also I tend to keep asking people if they understand. I use terms like, "Ya know?" or "get the drift?" I do this to make sure they are with me because I feel like I stink at getting my point across. It's like I'm speaking English to a bunch of Klingon speakers.

Here's a funny anecdote, that I'll try to tell in a consise manner, but I'm not sure I can. I remember one time when my grandma was looking at a magazine, and it had a horroscope thing in it, but more like a personality test. We didn't take it seriously, but we looked up each other's signs just for the heck of it. When she looked up Ares, which is my sign, it literally said, "People are not on the same page as you." We busted out laughing. For once in their lives, they pegged that pretty accurately.

No you're not an idiot. Some people prefer things to be more detailed while others prefer it straight to the point. It depends on the person you're talking to.

You´re not alone! It does get better with practise

I think with practice you'll get better, it's a matter of situation (knowing if both you and the listener have time to hear the story) and weeding out the unimportant bits. I've found I can tell a story in 5 minutes but later realize it could've been told in 15 seconds.

This. In addition we're probably also all so used to being misunderstood that we over-explain.

I've been told my tendency to explain and be thorough is annoying and too long, while I don't think I add too much. It's not like I describe everything or add a lot of details that is irrelevant to it (to me at least). I absolutely hate talking to most Nts, and I make it as short as I possibly can when I have to. Save for fewer than I can count on one hand, they just aren't worth the effort.

I had this problem when I was younger.

Things changed quite a bit when I met my now-husband. I remember specifically asking him why his parents tuned out while I was talking to them, before I was finished with my story/explanation. He told me it was because I included too many details. He helped me a lot in learning how to summarize.

People don't often have the attention span for that many details. It's not more their fault than it is ours to think that all these details are super important.

I actually feel quite sorry for anybody who has to listen to me when I'm "taking the scenic route." Dad used to do it too, and it felt like torture. On the other hand, sometimes really skilled listeners have helped me to stay on track by interrupting me at the right time, and a lot of people have reassured me that the situation isn't as bad as I think.


That's quite progressive, I think. Neurotypicals are supposed to keep checking how well their audience is following the plot, perhaps mostly by watching for facial expressions and body language such as nods, but also by simply asking. I've noticed that sometimes people will turn slightly away from facing me, which is probably a sign that they're feeling overloaded.

I used to wonder why Dad's talking style was the way it was (we didn't know about autism back then), and I figured that he overexplained things because he underestimated his own clarity. His style was so one-way that he hardly ever checked whether he had been understood. I guess that anybody who doesn't get such feedback is likely to overwork the clarity just to be on the safe side. Also, we ASDers usually need very clear explanations ourselves, so with our poor social intelligence and imagination, we probably tend to think that everybody has the same needs as we do, so we do as we would be done by.

I don't know how usual this is for us aspies, but for me at least, I look away to really pay attention and focus. Likewise, I think all that nodding (so-called active listening they do) looks ridiculous, and when I'm the one doing the talking, I find it distracting.