Another year, another social failure.

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I gotta say, i do or did consider my a loner. By its nagging at my sanity at times. I try to get better every year and its the same failure time and time again. They say success is learning from failure. But i must be missing something in my brain then.

So another year another birthday and i went to a party / talk get together, whatever you wanna call it. And as always im the one of like the 20 or 30 people that just ends up sitting alone all night, looking akward and smiling all the time. While people every now and then poke when why by, well you dont say much.

I just feel like i try so hard every year to get better at it, maybe just see if i could make one real life friend, and failure after failure after failure.... its really starting to eat me up. Maybe im just scared as well because besides my mother which is getting old and having bad health there is no family. So once she is gone im literally alone on this earth.

This is the though that keeps me up at night lately and scares me. Because i do not seem to possess the ability to actually improve or learn in regards to social interaction what so ever.

What i really wanted, was just im my own self pity, to hear if anyone is in the same boat and what your thoughts and feelings are?.

I know very much how you feel-I sit alone every year for my birthday and christmas and new years and my mother just recently passed away and I am very alone right now-people will say "my friend" to me and it is a hollow greeting because they are not my friend- if they were my friend I wouldnt be sitting by myself all the time so they are lying. I cant seem to learn the secret of success in the world of making friends.I think every time new years comes around that another year of not having the things my peers take for granted.

Hopefully 2014 will be better for everyone.

I feel alone with I am with family or in a group for the most part because I am unable to connect with them.
People do try, though it doesn't make anything better and sometimes worse.

It doesn't help my only friend, who I have one of those rare special best friend type connection with, though he is obsessed with his career thus works too much.

Hopefully this year I can break the birthday curse of being alone, everyone tends to always be busy on my birthday.
Though part of it is due to it being at the beginning of July.

Hi loner1984, good to see you again.

Yes, I'm in the same boat. Failure after failure. Even now, after many years and many failures, I still have no idea what I'm doing wrong. Now I'm at a point where I'm starting to give up and accept my fate of forever being alone. I sometimes have some short-term "friends" but they eventually leave. I feel I inherently lack some quality/ability that makes a human being worth being friends with. Maybe that's seriously my disability.

I still have my parents and sisters that I am close to but I live far away from them. Well, I guess I can still exchange emails etc with them. They are all I have.

at least in being a hermit, I can't piss off anybody quite so readily.

Hey, thanks for the replies. Sorry for the late response. Yeah i totally got wrecked and had to build my self up again. Even just to engage in "social" online if that is what you call it.

Honestly i didn think anyone would notice people disappearing from an online forum.

I hope you people have a better 2015 for the social improvements. I has yet to improve i seem to keep failing. Just standing around looking like the idiot wierdo in a big social gathering of like 20 people and not saying a word all night lol

I'm in the same boat. After two books and a dozen articles, I've found a body language training course online and am starting an activity group on campus to bring some people together. That's all that's left to try at this point, and I think that's all people can do. Something different from all the advice catered towards normal people (put yourself out there, listen to others, be positive, etc) who just need to be encouraged until they naturally merge back into the fold.

As a sort-of solution, I've started some indoor gardening to enjoy the sensitive and gentle company of plants. Starting with simple herbs like ginger and mint, I'll build my way up to my own private green retreat. I don't think many people appreciate them because they don't speak, move, or have faces.

I also have writing, and found a quote today that I really like in an article that's a little flowery (ha) for my tastes. "If you can give language to experiences previously starved for it, you can make the world a better place."

Source: http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-tur ... ng-writers

I am in the same boat, except I cannot even go to parties (there are none for me to go to even if I did want to, which I don't--I'm an introverted sort who'd enjoy taking a nature walk far more). My days...all of them...are spent at home, on my computer or in a book or my imagination. And even that's not very satisfactory anymore. One outing a week to go grocery shopping with my mother. And that's about it. Not even anyone to talk to about shared interests.

All I have is my parents, who physically/financially support me, but I can't talk to them about my problems without them getting angry. (They think I could get over it if I really wanted to.) And we don't have anything in common to have nice conversations about. I have so much in my head, and nobody to share it with. My only social contact is online. And even on the Internet I'm invisible and unwanted. (The last forum I was active on, thousands of posts, almost nobody has even noticed/cared that I'm gone. I'd really felt like I belonged there, too; I guess not, as always. -_- ) I have one friend I e-mail and I'm anxious even to bother her. She's the only person who's managed to put up with my avoidance and fear for more than a few years before giving up. One person, out of 15 years of searching. I go so long without contacting her that she will probably give up on me too, eventually.

I see no way for this to change. I live in a very isolated area, not much going on. No opportunities. Nobody around here like me, that I know of. My parents aren't very understanding but they're all I have. And yes, when they're gone, I'll be alone. I can't even care for myself so I dread thinking about what will happen then.

I hate to sound so negative but...I'm just so tired of being alone, and keeping everything to myself. I have so much I want to share. I thought I'd get used to it, but I never do. I've even lost hope in my writing, which used to be one of the very few things keeping me going...it doesn't matter if nobody else enjoys it.

(Trying to stop my whining now...)

I think it's good you get yourself to go out...even if you fail, you tried, at least. I'd like to say that if I had some opportunities to get out, I'd take them, but by now I think I'd be too afraid. And I feel dumb thinking about what-ifs that will never happen. :/

^^^
brother, you GOT TO talk to this lady! EMAIL HER!! ! say hello or anything but say SOMETHING to her ASAP, before it is too late. she was NICE TO YOU, so please reciprocate with niceness in her direction!