Confused by the use of passive aggressiveness...
DestinedToBeAPotato
Sea Gull
Joined: 31 Jan 2015
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 238
Location: floating on the molecular clouds of interstellar space
Today, I actually managed to pick up on the use of passive aggression towards me.
I was engaging in a discussion in class with an acquaintance about the book and film adaption of 50 shades of grey, they asked if I thought it was good and I explained that I didn't particularly like it because it glorifies domestic violence, I made several points as to why I saw it that way - well they asked why, and I gave them an answer...
I usually like to engage in civil discussions and hear another viewpoint, but also challenge that viewpoint in a civil manner, kind of an attempt to get the discussion rolling, I don't really think much of it and never really get upset when someone presents an argument against my viewpoint- well today I learnt the hard way that people don't like having their opinions challenged.
Half way through the conversation, the individual I was conversing with became rather agitated and defensive, generally I am oblivious to this, but with this incident I actually noticed a change in voice tone and it seemed that they didn't like that I had criticised the book/film that they really like.
They argued that the book and film is merely fictional, and therefore no one should have any issues with the actions of the characters - that's all good, I respect differing opinions.
But this is where I noticed the passive aggression: "if people don't like it, they shouldn't buy a ticket just to trash the movie, just so they can have an opinion on everything, they really should just shut up." ---> from what I can see, this statement was "indirectly" directed at me, this person then tried to cover it up with, "that's just my opinion.. *proceeds to shrug their shoulders*" .. Me being very shy, I was unable to reply, so I kept quiet.. This has happened to me on several occasions where people will often shut me down when I present an opinion they don't like.
I am very confused as to why some people cannot be upfront, and directly tell you what they think or explain why they don't agree, instead of resorting to twisting and hiding the true meaning behind their words. I cannot help but find this to be very dishonest, because for the most part I will not notice it, until I think about it in depth and realise that they were being passive aggressive. When I notice passive aggression later on, I actually find it more upsetting than being told directly.
Anyone else confused by passive aggression. .
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