Did you think/hope that you'd someday turn "normal"?

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TheAP
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30 Nov 2017, 12:53 pm

I did. When I was little, I used to pray to God that by a certain date, I'd be normal and able to have real friends and be able to do the things I couldn't. I would fantasize about what my life would be like in the future, and it always included me having close friends and being normal. When I was nine, I even vowed to myself that when I turned ten, I would start being brave and confident and tough and outgoing, all the things I was not. That didn't work out, of course. I didn't even last one day.

Fortunately, I've now accepted that I will never be normal. I have real friends online, and I'm fairly satisfied with myself and my life as it is.



Joe90
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30 Nov 2017, 1:35 pm

I'm hoping I will get more confident as I get older. Being on the mild and high-functioning end of the spectrum, I have been getting better as I've gotten older, and I learn from each social blunder I make.

Then when I get old I would probably be passed caring and will just be 'normal' in my own way.


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30 Nov 2017, 1:41 pm

I definitely did. I think my family did also, to an extent. I thought I was going to live a life when I got older like the ones you see on TV and in movies and even read about in books. I later learned that very few people actually live lives like those and also have come to accept who I am and my limitations.


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Clakker
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30 Nov 2017, 1:55 pm

TheAP wrote:
I did. When I was little, I used to pray to God that by a certain date, I'd be normal and able to have real friends and be able to do the things I couldn't. I would fantasize about what my life would be like in the future, and it always included me having close friends and being normal. When I was nine, I even vowed to myself that when I turned ten, I would start being brave and confident and tough and outgoing, all the things I was not. That didn't work out, of course. I didn't even last one day.

Fortunately, I've now accepted that I will never be normal. I have real friends online, and I'm fairly satisfied with myself and my life as it is.

Mergh :roll: :wall:
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Has WP become nothing more then 'lets celebrate disfunction planet' or 'woe is me because I'm not normal planet'?


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TheAP
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30 Nov 2017, 1:59 pm

^Um, what? Am I not allowed to share my experiences?



moarjin
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30 Nov 2017, 2:13 pm

I don't know about normal. I just wanted to fit in.

For a long time I thought I actually was normal! I just thought i was often misread and that people didn't know how to take me. Or that I was just a little bit niaeve, socially. All of which was right of course, but the problem was me!

I didn't realise I was on the spectrum until it was pointed out to me, by someone who's known me since I was 17, and who also happens to have 3 kids with autism, so I suppose she would've seen it easily.

Upon reflection, it's obvious. When I look back through my life, now with the knowledge of having Asperger's, it all makes sense.

But, do I wish I could wake up normal tomorrow?
Nah, I don't think so. I think I'd be a different person, and I actually quite like who I've become.


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30 Nov 2017, 2:51 pm

Of course I wanted to be "normal".

I would have given my right arm for it.

I tried to be optimistic for years.

For years I lived in denial and pretended that I didn't want to be normal. This was just a front of course.

These days, sadly, I've got no hope, I just get up go to work and come home.

I'm alone and that's it.

I'm not unhappy but I'm not happy either.

This is where being autistic has brought me.


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30 Nov 2017, 3:44 pm

No, I've only ever thought things would get worse. Even when I was very small I thought that someday I would lose my mind entirely.



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30 Nov 2017, 4:43 pm

TheAP wrote:
^Um, what? Am I not allowed to share my experiences?


Beyond the Random Discussion and Games Quiz forum which is posted to about half as much to as the other forums by far most of the posts are negative.

Here are some of the titles...

Did you think/hope that you'd someday turn "normal"?
I'm having trouble reading tone, causing annoyance.
Slowly starting to realize we don't feel empathy
Stepmom to possible aspie - help!
Just got a job that I am not qualified for
Why would any women want me?
Don't Want To Work For A Living
To work and live in the UK? Have an AS diagnosis and ADHD.
Doomsday fears again, and a dilemma issue
Which type of suicide is best?
Parables- a problem ? (Can Aspies understand parables?)
Acquaintance zone
Obsession With The Diagnosis
Facebook Group for Natural ASD Treatment

I've spend ten days here and WP is a lot of things but a celebration for being born Aspie it isn't. There's a neurodiversity movement out there in the Real World you wouldn't know of it if you came on WP. Just imagine a site for transgender, lesbians, or homosexuals lamenting the fact of their differentness as much as is done here on WP.

Being an Aspie isn't something awful, pitiable, or in need of being lamented. It's a completely normal way of being human. Is there mistreatment of those on the spectrum you betcha but from all the threads I've read I'm absolutely horrified at the lack of Aspie Pride on this site.


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TheAP
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30 Nov 2017, 5:04 pm

Clakker wrote:
Being an Aspie isn't something awful, pitiable, or in need of being lamented. It's a completely normal way of being human. Is there mistreatment of those on the spectrum you betcha but from all the threads I've read I'm absolutely horrified at the lack of Aspie Pride on this site.

I know that. I am proud of being an Aspie. I don't dislike being autistic anymore, as I said in the second paragraph of my OP. But this is not just a neurodiversity site, it's a site for people to share their experiences with autism, good and bad. I didn't mean this to be a negative thread, I just wanted to share a childhood experience I had and see if anyone could relate. Also, some people here have not reached the stage of fully accepting their autism - they may see it as a curse because of all the struggles they have, and we have to respect that.

I understand that you may be frustrated with the general attitude on WP. But if you feel that way, make a thread about it or something. When you choose to attack my thread specifically, it makes me feel like it's about me personally.



EzraS
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30 Nov 2017, 5:39 pm

Clakker wrote:
I've spend ten days here and WP is a lot of things but a celebration for being born Aspie it isn't. There's a neurodiversity movement out there in the Real World you wouldn't know of it if you came on WP. Just imagine a site for transgender, lesbians, or homosexuals lamenting the fact of their differentness as much as is done here on WP.

Being an Aspie isn't something awful, pitiable, or in need of being lamented. It's a completely normal way of being human. Is there mistreatment of those on the spectrum you betcha but from all the threads I've read I'm absolutely horrified at the lack of Aspie Pride on this site.


Inapplicable. LGBT is not disorder, but autism is a disorder. It would be applicable to compare this site to one for people with another neurological disability like cerebral palsy.

I also have severe dyspraixa (which in my case is similar to cerebral palsy) and also has traits similar to autism. Am I supposed to celebrate it as well?

Maybe those you're referring to are so high functioning they're just quirky. But you can't realistically apply that to the rest of us who do suffer from and struggle with something that is actually disabling for us.



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30 Nov 2017, 5:54 pm

I have a cousin my age that I've been raised with. I would just like to be able to function like he does. I don't see me losing my personality or losing what makes me me in that scenario. Just me being able to operate normally neurologically.



elbowgrease
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30 Nov 2017, 5:59 pm

Yeah. I wish for that a lot sometimes. Whatever normal might be, at least capable of seeming enough like that as to blend in.



Clakker
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30 Nov 2017, 6:06 pm

EzraS wrote:
Clakker wrote:
I've spend ten days here and WP is a lot of things but a celebration for being born Aspie it isn't. There's a neurodiversity movement out there in the Real World you wouldn't know of it if you came on WP. Just imagine a site for transgender, lesbians, or homosexuals lamenting the fact of their differentness as much as is done here on WP.

Being an Aspie isn't something awful, pitiable, or in need of being lamented. It's a completely normal way of being human. Is there mistreatment of those on the spectrum you betcha but from all the threads I've read I'm absolutely horrified at the lack of Aspie Pride on this site.


Inapplicable. LGBT is not disorder, but autism is a disorder. It would be applicable to compare this site to one for people with another neurological disability like cerebral palsy.

I also have severe dyspraixa (which in my case is similar to cerebral palsy) and also has traits similar to autism. Am I supposed to celebrate it as well?


EzraS you know as much as I know that it wasn’t to long ago when being anything but heterosexual was intrinsically disordered, an abomination, illegal, and a mental disorder. Normal neurologically for you, for me, for everyone not born neurodiverse?

Imagine a future where autism can be detected in a routine prenatal screening. What kind of picture do the titles I highlighted communicate of how ‘normal’ the life of the potentially autistic child will be? Now imagine that before Stonewall and the LGBT pride movement the ‘homo’ gene had been detected how many parents would choose to have a non heterosexual child.

TheAP and EzraS this isn’t about you or me this is about that normal includes being born autistic. If you’re not willing to believe that why should those you call ‘normal’ do it? When the heteronormative make the rules then not being heterosexual is not normal and when the normal get to define normal guess where that leaves you, me, and everybody else who doesn’t fit their definition. Women’s history is full of horrendous examples of men making rules to the disadvantage of women. Do you really think this is any different?


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Aaron Rhodes
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30 Nov 2017, 6:29 pm

I never hoped to be "normal". I worked hard from an early age to adapt to my situation. The time you spend hoping for something goes to waste when you have every opportunity to take action. I'm currently at a stage in between being an aspie and being "normal" and working on adopting the best qualities from both sides.



EzraS
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30 Nov 2017, 6:38 pm

Clakker wrote:
EzraS wrote:
Clakker wrote:
I've spend ten days here and WP is a lot of things but a celebration for being born Aspie it isn't. There's a neurodiversity movement out there in the Real World you wouldn't know of it if you came on WP. Just imagine a site for transgender, lesbians, or homosexuals lamenting the fact of their differentness as much as is done here on WP.

Being an Aspie isn't something awful, pitiable, or in need of being lamented. It's a completely normal way of being human. Is there mistreatment of those on the spectrum you betcha but from all the threads I've read I'm absolutely horrified at the lack of Aspie Pride on this site.


Inapplicable. LGBT is not disorder, but autism is a disorder. It would be applicable to compare this site to one for people with another neurological disability like cerebral palsy.

I also have severe dyspraixa (which in my case is similar to cerebral palsy) and also has traits similar to autism. Am I supposed to celebrate it as well?


EzraS you know as much as I know that it wasn’t to long ago when being anything but heterosexual was intrinsically disordered, an abomination, illegal, and a mental disorder. Normal neurologically for you, for me, for everyone not born neurodiverse?

Imagine a future where autism can be detected in a routine prenatal screening. What kind of picture do the titles I highlighted communicate of how ‘normal’ the life of the potentially autistic child will be? Now imagine that before Stonewall and the LGBT pride movement the ‘homo’ gene had been detected how many parents would choose to have a non heterosexual child.

TheAP and EzraS this isn’t about you or me this is about that normal includes being born autistic. If you’re not willing to believe that why should those you call ‘normal’ do it? When the heteronormative make the rules then not being heterosexual is not normal and when the normal get to define normal guess where that leaves you, me, and everybody else who doesn’t fit their definition. Women’s history is full of horrendous examples of men making rules to the disadvantage of women. Do you really think this is any different?


Your analogy is still completely inapplicable and unrealistic.

Being gay does not result in any kind of impairment or disability, while autism does.
Does being gay cause communication difficulties with virtually everyone?
Does being result in sensory overload that results in meltdowns, shutdowns and catatonia?
Does being gay result in hypersensitivity?
Does being gay result in hyperfocus?
Does being gay result in an inability to grasp abstract concepts?
Does being gay result in learning difficulties?
Does being gay result in being dependent on fixed routines?
Does being gay result in in perceptual difficulties?
Does being gay result in being dependent on others to look after self?
Does being gay result in an inability to control ones physiology?
Does being gay result in echolalia?
Does being gay result in being extremely withdrawn from everyone?
Does being gay result in being nonverbal?
Does being gay result in having coordination difficulties?

I live in a real life world where everyone I'm around is either autistic or is extremely understanding and accepting of autism. Having autism still sucks.