"A Field Guide to Earthlings" by Ian Ford

Post Reply New Topic

This book is awesome and it is explaining so much to me about NTs!

"The NT mind is often not good at distinguishing appearances from the facts that underlie those appearances. To appear to do good is doing good. To claim that one is supportive is the same as being supportive."

That is so frustrating for me. How many times have you had an NT claim they're supportive until they had to actually do something beyond saying they were supportive?

Another one:

"When exhibiting “common sense,” NTs are preoccupied with what is appropriate (conforming to culture), instead of what is true or beneficial. If there is some choice to be made, the work of deciding what to do consists of reflecting on their shared beliefs and determining which option is the least disruptive to those beliefs."

No wonder I hate it when NTs won't listen to facts. They don't care about facts!

This is one of my favorite books. It was a real eye opener. I started a thread <click> about this (several years back), that helped me better understand NT behavior.

For the most part, it was alright but the annoying ongoing story about Star, Angel, Valerie etc. just confused me and really put me off. I just couldn't seem to follow what was going on. I prefer just the facts.

I've read much better books than that. I've got literally hundreds of books/documents on Asperger's on my Kindle (thank you Amazon).

P.S.
That's not to say it's a bad book.

The best book I've ever read on neurotypical behaviour. The analysis is spot-on.

Reading the book may confirm your worst suspicions.

One topic that the book does not explore is neurotypical development of mental maturity. Psychologists have developed a number of theories on this topic, identifying various stages of mental development/maturity. Whilst the scientific rigor used in developing some of these theories may vary, there seems to be a general consensus that the percentage of people who realise that their beliefs are largely the result of external cultural/ideological influence is very small.

The number of people who reach the stage of recognising value in ideological diversity, and who proceed to develop a personal value system that transcends established ideologies is even smaller – less that 1%. The majority of neurotypical society is trapped within a particular economic/religious/national ideological box, with little understanding or empathy for anyone outside their particular box.

Before I knew about autism, I dismissed theories about neurotypical development of mental maturity, because I could not relate these theories to my own mental development.

There is still a book to be written about the autistic development of mental maturity, which seems to follow a very different pattern. In the light of the above, I would add one important observation to the conclusions of Star (Ian) Ford:

The less than 1% of neurotypical individuals who have reached a stage of mental maturity that allow them to recognise the value of ideological diversity and neurodiversity can make life bearable, and make for an excellent interface to the neurotypical world.

Apparently it takes a neurotypical brain at least 40 years to reach this stage, and that vast majority of people never reach this stage.

^^^
Agreed. It was an interesting read. However, I got lost during the stories about Star, Valerie, etc. and started skipping them. I picked up a few good things but I preferred Temple Grandin's book The Way I See It.

^^^ Agreed.

Also, I found this quite good:
Asperger's Survival Guide

^ Thanks for sharing.

I have only read parts on the book website and quotes people posted from it, so I don't know if the whole thing makes more sense than the pieces, but I don't consider this a good book for understanding neurotypical people. It is more like simplification, generalization, and fitting data to a preset model of NTs by the author.

Thanks for sharing! I've been thinking to read those. Feel more inclined to get them and read now!

Also, has anyone read
I am Aspiengirl: The Unique Characteristic​s, Traits and Gifts of Females on the Autism Spectrum by Tania Marshall
and
Pretending to be Normal by Liane Holliday Willey ??

If someone has, would you recommend these or not?

I should probably get hold of this book. I've heard that it's descriptions are pretty accurate.

Exactly. They think saying something is the same as being/doing it.

@Imanaspie - yes, was just about to mention the book you linked to, thought it looked ok

I can't relate to what is said about NTs, and I can't match it to most people around me either.

Yes, it's mostly a generalisation. However, as I understand it though, most NT's don't notice themselves or others following the patterns of social interactions described in the book because it's mostly done unconsciously, so it's perhaps not surprising that you don't immediately relate to it. It's only when you consciously think about and analyse your own social interaction that you begin to see patterns.

Sure because some Autistic people want to believe they don't ever mistake appearances for facts (we're Autistic, we have super truthful perception, yay us)! This reminds me of people who are hyper religious and can't avoid thinking that they are just above people who aren't religious, so they never really address their own behavior. IT's always the fault of the people who aren't holy like them (not talking about all religious people).

You can use any excuse you want to exonerate yourself, but the truth is Autistic people are not immune to the flaws of "NT" (I still hate that term). Don't kid yourself about it if you really want to have a happy life, because in order to be happy you kind of have to be able to accept yourself for who you really are. It doesn't mean you're bad, just human. But there are situations were we can improve things by recognizing and changing our own behaviors, you don't want to forget that and stop trying, just like you want those pesky NTs to not stop trying.