#HighFunctioningMeans
androbot01
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17 Mar 2015, 5:43 am
ischemgeek. #HighFunctioningMeans
I've been following this blog^. Here's a few passages from the post:
Everyone in my life pesters me about unimportant things. It's annoying.
Asking for support in the workplace has, in the past, resulted in ostracism and no increase in support, for me.
The last psychiatrist I saw said I have done well to overcome autism. As if! You don't overcome it, you live with it.
Aspiewordsmith
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17 Mar 2015, 7:31 am
Being high functioning or very 'able' is a justification for allistics and others to treat you like an object and not a person. It is a justification to abuse you with impunity and for allistics to demand reasonable adjustments and to act as twats and make excuses for doing so. You are expected to let others take advantage for you and to empathise with others getting off on deceiving you or ripping you off. It is a justification for compulsory isolation and ostracism nothing more. I'm not saying if a person has an IQ equal to my shoe size is not dehumanised, it is just a different kind of dehumanisation that is all. OK they are not pressurised to do anything and are said to have no quality of life but are far happier than those that suffer form mental acceleration or have allistic levels of cognitive intelligence. A person with allistic levels of cognitive intelligence is just as likely to have co morbidities as those with sub allistic levels of cognitive intelligence that is people with learning disabilities (or intellectual disability in the USA) but they are happier and not pressurised to do anything and if they do something such as a piece of work then they get some kind of incentive but the high functioning person gets taken for granted and is demotivated. SOmetimes being pressurised to do something is actually an incumbrance, hinders a person's overall development not just intellectually but socally and emotionally as well and if you are high functioning then it's open season as well so no being high functioning is not all what others make it out to be.
You are also expected to be seen as a source of resources and nothing more not, a friend or lover the latter is often out of the question and expectied to show compassion when you have received none during a lifetime it soon mounts up. Often allistics who teat you like somthing that you pick up on your trainers will use your Asperger syndrome (if you have it) as an excuse as well. You get accused of taking advantage of people yet you're the one to be taken advantage of and if you protect yourself this gets labelled as having a lack of empathy esspecially if you see through the BS.
ASPartOfMe
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17 Mar 2015, 11:58 am
You are also expected to be seen as a source of resources and nothing more not, a friend or lover the latter is often out of the question and expectied to show compassion when you have received none during a lifetime it soon mounts up. Often allistics who teat you like somthing that you pick up on your trainers will use your Asperger syndrome (if you have it) as an excuse as well. You get accused of taking advantage of people yet you're the one to be taken advantage of and if you protect yourself this gets labelled as having a lack of empathy esspecially if you see through the BS.
Not disagreeing at all with HFA difficulties. Low functioning means you are likely to be seen as a diseased burden to be despised or pitied and untimely cured. Until a cure is found it may mean 40-60 hours a week of ABA to make you less "deviant" and maybe you have been wrongly committed to a mental institution for decades. It could mean literally severely painful sensory issues. It means you are assumed by many allistics and many "higher" functioning Autistics to not understand any of above which may or may not be true. It means your parents and others the most hurtful things in front of you because they think you don't understand including in one infamous ad that has been viral since 2006 when a mother was thinking of driving her family off a bridge because of a person like you. It means some on the spectrum while insistent on being called "autistic" think it's ok for you to called "a person with autism".
This reply is dedicated to Kingdom of Rats wherever she is these days
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androbot01
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17 Mar 2015, 12:17 pm
I remember that woman. I still can't believe she would say that right in front of the kid. And then she says her only reason for not doing so was to take care of her "normal" kid. Unbelievable! Not even a thought for how this would make him feel.
17 Mar 2015, 12:24 pm
I remember that woman. I still can't believe she would say that right in front of the kid. And then she says her only reason for not doing so was to take care of her "normal" kid. Unbelievable! Not even a thought for how this would make him feel.
For a while I thought everyone had a problem with that because of how overwhelmed she was an how she was feeling and I have been thee before but not with a disabled child but with other things as a kid and an adult. Then I found out it wasn't what she said and how she felt, it was that she said it in front of her kid so that would mean if she had said that when she was by herself or if she was in a doctor's office or said it to a friend or family member and it was just them alone without her kid around, then that would have been okay. I never made that connection.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
17 Mar 2015, 12:53 pm
From a previous post:
I take issue with people who refer to AS/HFA as "mild" autism. I don't believe it is mild, or that there can be such a thing as "mild autism," the only difference is in one's ability to function in spite of the intensity of the strain on our nervous system.
I'm especially irritated by people who think that because we are able to maintain that facade of functionality, that our disabilities are not real or are inconsequential compared to those who can only rock and bang their heads against the wall, that in reality, the fact that we do appear functional actually makes our situation more difficult and painful. Nobody cuts us any slack for being handicapped and nobody handles our difficult situations for us. We're on our own, defects and all.
If you obviously can't take care of yourself, then nobody expects you to. However, if you appear to be relatively functional, then you're expected to be able to do whatever everyone else is doing, no excuses. If you don't, then you don't have a neurological impairment, you're just a whining loser. Failure to measure up to the norm is never the result of a handicap, it's a personal shortcoming. Because our disability is invisible, it isn't treated as real.
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"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel - but I am, so that's how it comes out." - Bill Hicks
17 Mar 2015, 1:10 pm
If you obviously can't take care of yourself, then nobody expects you to. However, if you appear to be relatively functional, then you're expected to be able to do whatever everyone else is doing, no excuses. If you don't, then you don't have a neurological impairment, you're just a whining loser. Failure to measure up to the norm is never the result of a handicap, it's a personal shortcoming. Because our disability is invisible, it isn't treated as real.
[/i]
i feel like there is a real problem here of assuming how it is for people who are not considered 'high functioning' as much as there is problems assuming of how it is for those considered 'high functiong'.
consider this. i 'obviously cannot take care of myself' but that doesn't just mean that no one expects me to it means no one expects me to be able to do anything ever. it means im barely considered a proper person by a lot of people.
i dnt doubt that it sucks sucks sucks how those considered 'high functioning' are treated. but its not a happy party good time for those on the other side of it either.
ASPartOfMe
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17 Mar 2015, 2:03 pm
If you obviously can't take care of yourself, then nobody expects you to. However, if you appear to be relatively functional, then you're expected to be able to do whatever everyone else is doing, no excuses. If you don't, then you don't have a neurological impairment, you're just a whining loser. Failure to measure up to the norm is never the result of a handicap, it's a personal shortcoming. Because our disability is invisible, it isn't treated as real.
[/i]
i feel like there is a real problem here of assuming how it is for people who are not considered 'high functioning' as much as there is problems assuming of how it is for those considered 'high functiong'.
consider this. i 'obviously cannot take care of myself' but that doesn't just mean that no one expects me to it means no one expects me to be able to do anything ever. it means im barely considered a proper person by a lot of people.
i dnt doubt that it sucks sucks sucks how those considered 'high functioning' are treated. but its not a happy party good time for those on the other side of it either.
Great post clarifying and adding on to what I was trying to say. But the so called "low functioning" maybe a sub category but they are not the other side. We all are autistic and should be on the same side. Autistic means for many being very low functioning in areas we are expected to be high functioning and visa versa
_________________
“Self Acceptance is a process not a performance”
“You are autistic enough. And you always have been”
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity.
17 Mar 2015, 2:12 pm
If you obviously can't take care of yourself, then nobody expects you to. However, if you appear to be relatively functional, then you're expected to be able to do whatever everyone else is doing, no excuses. If you don't, then you don't have a neurological impairment, you're just a whining loser. Failure to measure up to the norm is never the result of a handicap, it's a personal shortcoming. Because our disability is invisible, it isn't treated as real.
[/i]
i feel like there is a real problem here of assuming how it is for people who are not considered 'high functioning' as much as there is problems assuming of how it is for those considered 'high functiong'.
consider this. i 'obviously cannot take care of myself' but that doesn't just mean that no one expects me to it means no one expects me to be able to do anything ever. it means im barely considered a proper person by a lot of people.
i dnt doubt that it sucks sucks sucks how those considered 'high functioning' are treated. but its not a happy party good time for those on the other side of it either.
Great post clarifying and adding on to what I was trying to say. But the so called "low functioning" maybe a sub category but they are not the other side. We all are autistic and should be on the same side. Autistic means for many being very low functioning in areas we are expected to be high functioning and visa versa
i meant only sides in the sense that people label us as one side or the other, not that we necessarily are. but so long as we are treated and treat each other as seperate and on sides it will make the discussion like that? im not sure if im being clear but thats what i mean were the same side but treating it like seperate sides almost makes it so?
Sweetleaf
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17 Mar 2015, 2:24 pm
I remember that woman. I still can't believe she would say that right in front of the kid. And then she says her only reason for not doing so was to take care of her "normal" kid. Unbelievable! Not even a thought for how this would make him feel.
For a while I thought everyone had a problem with that because of how overwhelmed she was an how she was feeling and I have been thee before but not with a disabled child but with other things as a kid and an adult. Then I found out it wasn't what she said and how she felt, it was that she said it in front of her kid so that would mean if she had said that when she was by herself or if she was in a doctor's office or said it to a friend or family member and it was just them alone without her kid around, then that would have been okay. I never made that connection.
It bothers me shes blaming that on the autistic child....I mean I can sympathize with feeling suicidal, but I do my best not to blame it on people that aren't doing anything intentionally to make me feel that way. Now I could see a parent feeling inadequate at taking care of an autistic or otherwise disabled child or things like that leading to feelings like that...but kind of disgusting to imply the existence of the autistic kid is their reason to want to not only kill them-self but the whole damn family. I mean if she wants to off herself so bad because of the autistic child...why doesn't she just take herself out why drag the whole family into it and kill them all to by putting them at risk driving the car of a bridge....wouldn't that kind of threat typically get people in some trouble or at least maybe some mandatory psychiatric help?
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androbot01
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17 Mar 2015, 2:52 pm
This is a short version of the video, but you get the idea ... autistic children not only make their parents want to commit infanticide and suicide, but are also responsible for preventing house repairs and friendships. And my favorite ... no bagel for you!
Not to make light of the challenges of raising a child on the spectrum, but goodness gracious, this video is heavy handed.
17 Mar 2015, 3:20 pm
I remember that woman. I still can't believe she would say that right in front of the kid. And then she says her only reason for not doing so was to take care of her "normal" kid. Unbelievable! Not even a thought for how this would make him feel.
For a while I thought everyone had a problem with that because of how overwhelmed she was an how she was feeling and I have been thee before but not with a disabled child but with other things as a kid and an adult. Then I found out it wasn't what she said and how she felt, it was that she said it in front of her kid so that would mean if she had said that when she was by herself or if she was in a doctor's office or said it to a friend or family member and it was just them alone without her kid around, then that would have been okay. I never made that connection.
Well, contemplating suicide is never okay, but I'd be more inclined to feel sympathy for her instead of being angry at her if she'd done that.
Although it was also the implication that she only decided not to murder-suicide because she had an NT kid as well.
ASPartOfMe
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17 Mar 2015, 3:22 pm
If you obviously can't take care of yourself, then nobody expects you to. However, if you appear to be relatively functional, then you're expected to be able to do whatever everyone else is doing, no excuses. If you don't, then you don't have a neurological impairment, you're just a whining loser. Failure to measure up to the norm is never the result of a handicap, it's a personal shortcoming. Because our disability is invisible, it isn't treated as real.
[/i]
i feel like there is a real problem here of assuming how it is for people who are not considered 'high functioning' as much as there is problems assuming of how it is for those considered 'high functiong'.
consider this. i 'obviously cannot take care of myself' but that doesn't just mean that no one expects me to it means no one expects me to be able to do anything ever. it means im barely considered a proper person by a lot of people.
i dnt doubt that it sucks sucks sucks how those considered 'high functioning' are treated. but its not a happy party good time for those on the other side of it either.
Great post clarifying and adding on to what I was trying to say. But the so called "low functioning" maybe a sub category but they are not the other side. We all are autistic and should be on the same side. Autistic means for many being very low functioning in areas we are expected to be high functioning and visa versa
i meant only sides in the sense that people label us as one side or the other, not that we necessarily are. but so long as we are treated and treat each other as seperate and on sides it will make the discussion like that? im not sure if im being clear but thats what i mean were the same side but treating it like seperate sides almost makes it so?
I don't think most of us think of it separate sides. The constant denouncing of parents for not taking into account what there autistic offspring is going through shows you that but there is a degree of stereotyping of LFA as "other". I don't think it is widespread but from what I can gather it is perceived to widespread even within the community. I have been told over and over again on WP that the reality or perception of widespread "Aspie elitism" is one reason after all the lobbying against the DSM 5 a vast majority support the changes now. I hate this perception for a number reasons but I won't pretend it doesn't exist because I have seen enough examples of it.
_________________
“Self Acceptance is a process not a performance”
“You are autistic enough. And you always have been”
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity.
18 Mar 2015, 5:47 pm
I think two hashtags are needed:
#LowFunctioningMeans people question your personhood
#HighFunctioningMeans people questioning the validity of your difficulties
#LowFunctioningMeans people expecting very little from you and treating you like an infant your whole life.
#HighFunctioningMeans people expecting you to completely ovecome, or at the very least, mask your problems or else you're not "trying hard enough".
#LowFunctioningMeans people think your disability is a prison
#HighFunctioningMeans people think your disability is an excuse
#LowFunctioningMeans you're not a person in the eyes of others
#HighFunctioningMeans your not a good enough person in the eyes of others
I can do this all day.
androbot01
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nerdygirl
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18 Mar 2015, 6:33 pm
#LowFunctioningMeans people question your personhood
#HighFunctioningMeans people questioning the validity of your difficulties
#LowFunctioningMeans people expecting very little from you and treating you like an infant your whole life.
#HighFunctioningMeans people expecting you to completely ovecome, or at the very least, mask your problems or else you're not "trying hard enough".
#LowFunctioningMeans people think your disability is a prison
#HighFunctioningMeans people think your disability is an excuse
#LowFunctioningMeans you're not a person in the eyes of others
#HighFunctioningMeans your not a good enough person in the eyes of others
I can do this all day.
Well said.
