I've lost another job, and another friend :(

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Last week a friend contacted me saying his boss has a position open if I want it. He put in a good word for me at his place and his boss called me. We had a chat and he arranged a meeting at his office. He offered to pay for my train and food for the day.

Thats where it all collapsed. He kept calling yesterday to arrange with me to book the tickets for tomorrow but I ignored the call. I had a chance at a job that pays £ 28k a year, and I ignored the call!

I always do this, when something seems too much for me to deal with I ignore people. Literally. I've also ignored the friend who set it up, who is also trying to contact me. There's no chance of getting this job back now, it's been and done.

It's always like this for me. I'm absolutely broke, on the verge of being homeless and I can't find the bloody courage, or mindset, to do a job! This is why I've never worked, this is why doctors told me to claim support from the Government, which I'm now on.

This isn't even nerves, or normal mental struggles relating to a new job. This is completely different. I don't know what it is, I can't explain it. No amount of advice will change my thinking.

So can I just expect to be like this the rest of my life?

Insisting no amount of advice will change your thinking won't help you. Neuroplasticity makes it possible for us to change. That said I do exactly the same thing - avoid. BUT, if you know you do this, and are aware of it, you can find ways to compensate around it. I think for me its an anxiety thing, being put on the spot where I may not have time to process, so I make the move come to me. A job I interviewed with called me back this week too - I ignored the call. But I have voicemail set up, and the numbers get registered, so I can call directory assistance and know it was the company I interviewed with calling, or in this instance, voicemail. So I know who it is, I know what it's about, and its up to me to call back. Even if you ignored the call, there can be perfectly understandable reasons for that - you were driving and couldn't pull over, you were in another interview or even in a hospital or somewhere else you're not supposed to talke calls. If you call the person back within a reasonable time and say sorry, I missed your call because of X, but still want to speak with you, people tend to overlook it as anything odd.
Also, this sounds stupid but if it is an anxiety thing, make sure you're at ease and ready by the time you call back. Put some music on, or the TV, or make a cup of tea to go with it, make sure you have privacy, whatever. Map out what you want to say maybe by writing it down, I do that for phonecalls a lot.
As for your friend, if you're freaking out about talking to them on the phone, can't you email or text? Explain you're not blowing them off or shunning them, just a bit freaked out about this job stuff and feeling pressured. If they're friends with you then I'd hazard a guess they'd understand, especially if they know you're autistic.
Maybe you won't change, maybe that instinct to hide in a hole will always be there, as it is with me, but doesn't mean you can't find ways to sneakily adapt around your limitations.

I don't think it's anxiety. I do suffer with anxiety, and that does cause a problem, but whenever I actually get past the interview and get the job I last a month and end up leaving for some reason or another. One day I might feel too unwell to go to work in my mental state, so I just won't go. I won't call nobody to explain either (the phone issue).

If a company doesn't let me work my way, I also take an instant disliking to the job and will want to leave. If I disagree with something I can act irrational, or angry. Although I won't show anger to the people around me inside my head I boil. My last job they told me they were paying me a week late because they'd not calculated my first week at work. I stole one of their macbooks and left a note on the desk saying "Next time pay me on time".

It's a whole host of issues that make it difficult, and all combined make the issue seem impossible to get past. But I can't pinpoint the issues.

There's too much going on around me at the moment. Hardly any money to eat, landlord evicting us because she wants to move back into her home, no money to move house so I'm having to ride it out for 2 months until the eviction goes to court. Mental issues. The fact I struggle so hard to work plays on my head.

It seems to me you are having trouble communicating. Is there any help you can get for this?

The job performance issue is one thing, and the call avoidance is another, so I'll handle the avoidance. I have a hard time calling people or talking to people, especially strangers, on the phone. I often avoid answering if I can and let them leave a message that I can call them back about. That way, the call comes when I am ready for it; otherwise, calls are surprising and they interfere, which already jangles my nerves. When I can call, I'm much more relaxed. So call, make up some excuse, and set up the interview if they are still willing.
I find that I only need to get up the courage to dial, or to answer if it's ringing. I don't need to know what to say or get up the courage to talk, because those things will come as they come. I rehearse conversations a LOT. I practice, I form answers to questions I think will be asked, I try to anticipate different scenarios. But the conversation always goes a way I didn't expect, so the rehearsal was useless.
If I tell myself that all I have to do is answer, and not worry about the conversation or what the person might be calling to say, it doesn't seem so daunting. Also, I've learned that it is MUCH more difficult to make apology calls than to have the original conversation.
As far as the work behavior... dude. I'm surprised nobody prosecuted you for theft. Maybe it was better that you flaked now instead of a month from now, which would make your friend look worse for having recommended you. You have to understand that the world WILL NOT change for you or adapt to your rules. YOU have to change for IT, or stop being a part of it. If you can't do that, you will never succeed in the workplace. Also, delaying paychecks for a week at a new hire is common practice. Nearly ALL companies pay a week or so behind.

It seems like you are avoid difficulty and give up easily when there is small obstacle like feeling unwell for a day.
I don't know what to do about this pattern of thinking and acting which is having bad effects on your life all-around.
Do you have access to any kind of therapy currently?