Starship WrongPlanet Wants You!! ! Recruitment Poster!

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WrongPlanet Date 15052005:

Orbiting the Planet WetO'Dream we get
message from "The United Autism Federation".

(unfilled position of communications officer)
Captain Dunctvis! We are getting a message
from "U.A.Federation"! It seems that we
have a new Admiral in charge of our exploratory
region. Hmmm-Ummmm-Hmmmm! All decks
stand ready to receive our new Admiral.

The Shuttle "Eyecontact" is approaching.
Captain! We are getting a signal from her
pilot. "This is Admiral Alex, permission to
board the U.A.F WrongPlanet"? Permission
to board Admiral! and Alex I am glad you
got promoted, it's about time.

And now a commercial break!

What about story ideas?????? Any volunteers
for roles????? and Story extensions??????

Hmmmm? Fascinating?
Ghosthunter

Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 27, 2004
Posts: 304
Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 8:51 am    
Post subject: Offensive Story
--------------------------------
SUPER ALAN TURING VS SPACE HITLER

INT. SPACE HITLER'S SECRET UNDERGROUND
BUNKER ON HIS SPACE STATION. HE'S SITTING
ON A HIGH GANTRY IN FRONT OF A HUGE BANK
OF MONITORS. ON ONE OF THEM, WE SEE AN IMAGE
OF WINSTON CHURCHILL, SITTING IN A BIG
LEATHER ARMCHAIR SMOKING A CIGAR (I MEAN,
CHURCHILL IS SMOKING THE CIGAR. THE ARMCHAIR
ISN'T SMOKING THE CIGAR. THAT WOULD BE SILLY)

HITLER: Prepare to meet your doom, you fat ba*****.

SUDDENLY, SUPER ALAN TURING BURSTS IN.

HITLER: Ach! Turing! No matter, you're too late this time
- wave goodbye to your precious leader.

HITLER PRESSES A BUTTON MARKED "DAS LASER".

TURING: We'll see about that, Adolf.

SPACE STATION FIRES LASER AT CHURCHILL. CHURCHILL
LEANS SLIGHTLY TO THE LEFT, REVEALING A SMALL MIRROR
BEHIND HIM. THE LASER REFLECTS OFF THE MIRROR AND
DESTROYS BERLIN.

HITLER: Arrrrgh!

TURING: I'm afraid, my dear Hitler, we intercepted your
plans some time ago. We've been carefully aligning
Winston and the mirror since then.

HITLER: Ah. I wondered why he hadn't moved out of that
chair for a fortnight. However, you'll never leave here alive.

PRESSES ANOTHER BUTTON. HUGE DOORS SLIDE BACK,
REVEALING A BIG ROBOT.

HITLER: Allow me to introduce the instrument of your
demise - the FUHRERTRON 9000.

BIG ROBOT ADVANCE SLOWLY TOWARDS TURING. TURING
ADOPTS A KARATE STANCE. ROBOT EXPLODES.

TURING: You forgot one thing Adolf - My seminal paper "On
Computable Numbers, with an Application to the
Entscheidungsproblem and exploding Big Robots
(Turing, 1936)."

HITLER: Curses! You'll never take me alive!

TURING: Oh, OK. (PUNCHES HITLER, WHO FALLS OFF THE
GANTRY AND PLUMMETS TO HIS DEATH)

HITLER (BECOMING FAINTER AS HE FALLS): You've not heard
the last of me, Turing! Also, I really wish I hadn't installed this
stupid gantry.

LARGE BREASTED WOMAN: Thanks for rescuing me, Super
Alan Turing!

TURING: Hooray!

Ghosthunter
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 20, 2005
Posts: 636
Location: San Francisco
Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 11:07 am    
Post subject: Hmmm?
--------------------------
Hmmm? Fascinating Captain!
We are recieving a strange life
form below. He appears to be
resemblence of mid-20th century
earth dictator call hitler.

Hmmm? Captain! I am also detecting odd
metal objects not of this particular
earth century? Fascninating Captain?

Civet, Take the helm, and I, Mr. Gh.H
and Pyraxis to the transporter. Dammit
Dunctvis you NEED A DOCTOR DOWN
THERE! All right Sarcastic_Name
you can come but do bring Scoots for
some sanity. Elfman, report to transporter!
Yes! Keptin.

The landing party equipped? Pyraxis?
Yes, Sir! Mr.Gh.H? All is ready! Sarcastic?
Dunctvis? Do you feel safe with those
NT's in this century, I am a doctor, not
a psychologist-Dammit! Scoots? Ready, Sir!
Elfman? Keptin and armed with NT detectors!

Landing party ready, armed, tri-NT-cordered,
Ready to beam , Civet! Yes Captain!

"Beam"....Ect!

Sea Gull
Joined: Mar 12, 2005
Posts: 234
Posted: Tue May 17, 2005 4:26 pm    
Post subject:
---------------
I have got an idea. The UAF Wrong Planet is
required to sneak past a horde of vicious
Emoticon warrier ships into an NT colony to
deliver teddy bears that change the brain of
NT children so that they have AS. BUt the
whole situation is worsened when the crew
is ambushed by the Imperial Bread Legion.
HOwsoever, they are soon relieved by a rogue
mercenary craft commanded by Malcolm Scipo
and someone else.

Phoenix
Joined: Mar 20, 2005
Posts: 749
Location: San Francisco
Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 12:08 pm    
Post subject: Hmmmm? Double Posted
AGAINNNNNNNNN!
----------------------
Oops! Double Posted again????
Fascinating? Capain! I am getting
double exposure readings on the
Bay Bridge observatory scan.

I will scan the ships computer and
find a cause, if that is the problem?

Hmmm! Ummm! Hummmm!
Dammit Dunctvis! I am getting
double reading in my sickbay.
Poor Sophist is really stressed
about this. I found her in a
sensory overload starring in
blankness at the double readings.
It is like trying to read the
heart of a HFA Vulcan, and
you know who I mean.

Doctor Sarcastic_Name, I caught
that. Is a double reading normal?

Geez! This is what I get having
a Vulcan onboard! Sigh! Well anyways
Mr.Ghosthunter!! !! !! ! Use your analytical
intellect and solve this, Dammmn HFA
vulcan!

and back to the commercial break!

Sorry about the double post. I don't know
why it happens, but does occasionally.
I hope you enjoyed the Starship WrongPlanet
play as a friendly appology!

Hmmmm? Most Fascinated!
Ghosthunter

The past roles given:

Captain Dunctvis
Doctor Sarcastic_Name
Science Officer Mr. Ghosthunter
Chief Security Officer Lt. Commander Pyraxis
Lt. Elfman
Ensign Scoots
Chief Engineer Blackliger(just added)


Current Role Call as of 5/15/05':

Captain Dunctvis
Science Officer Mr.Ghosthunter
Chief Security Officer Pyraxis
Lt. Elfman
Ensign Scoots
Chief Engineer Blackliger
Admiral Alex(just added)

And currently seeking a bustily
and large communications officer,
amongst other crewmember?

Fascinating Captain? Do you think
there will be any takers and suggestions?

Hmmm?
Ghosthunter Back to top
 
alex
Hawk (Site Admin)
Joined: Jun 14, 2004
Posts: 701
Location: Charlottesville, Virginia
Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 2:03 pm    Post subject:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ooh this is cool. Thanks for letting me be part of this Ghosthunter!Back to top
 
Ghosthunter
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 20, 2005
Posts: 751
Location: San Francisco
Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 2:16 pm    Post subject: Hmmm?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
WrongPlanet Date 15052005:

Orbiting the Planet WetO'Dream we get
message from "The United Autism Federation".

(unfilled position of communications officer)
Captain Dunctvis! We are getting a message
from "U.A.Federation"! It seems that we
have a new Admiral in charge of our exploratory
region. Hmmm-Ummmm-Hmmmm! All decks
stand ready to receive our new Admiral.

The Shuttle "Eyecontact" is approaching.
Captain! We are getting a signal from her
pilot. "This is Admiral Alex, permission to
board the U.A.F WrongPlanet"? Permission
to board Admiral! and Alex I am glad you
got promoted, it's about time.

And now a commercial break!

What about story ideas?????? Any volunteers
for roles????? and Story extensions??????

Hmmmm? Fascinating?
Ghosthunter

I hope your not the klingon on the starboard Civet

Hawk (Site Admin)
Joined: Jul 09, 2004
Posts: 886
Location: In my head
Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 6:39 pm    
Post subject:
----------------
Hm... I see my name in the first post, but I am
not on the crew list? Who am I?
_________________
"I am I." -Ayanami ReiBack to top

The past roles given:

Captain Dunctvis
Doctor Sarcastic_Name
Science Officer Mr. Ghosthunter
Chief Security Officer Lt. Commander Pyraxis
Lt. Elfman
Ensign Scoots
Chief Engineer Blackliger(just added)


Current Role Call as of 5/18/05':

Captain Dunctvis
Commander(or #2) Civet(just updated!)
Science Officer Mr.Ghosthunter
Chief Security Officer Pyraxis
Lt. Elfman
Ensign Scoots
Chief Engineer Blackliger
Admiral Alex

And currently seeking a bustily
and large communications officer,
amongst other crewmember?

Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 17, 2004
Posts: 310
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 9:54 pm    
Post subject:
---------------
I hope your not the klingon on the
starboard Civet
_________________
ElfManBack to top

Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 11, 2004
Posts: 143
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 9:57 pm    
Post subject:
---------------
Aw, I was expecting a film poster or something.
Someone really should photoshop one up
Most people have photos in the pic thread, so
it couldn't be TOO hard.

Unfortunately I myself am not that great at pic
editing, I only have MS Paint to work with.
_________________
"Master of Unlocking"Back to top

Hawk (Site Admin)
Joined: Jul 09, 2004
Posts: 886
Location: In my head
Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 10:21 pm    
Post subject:
---------------
Quote:
I hope your not the klingon on the
starboard Civet

I would rather be Data.
_________________
"I am I." -Ayanami ReiBack to top

Admiral Alex
Captain Dunctvis
Commander(or #2) Civet(just updated!)
Science Officer Mr.Ghosthunter
Chief Security Officer Pyraxis
Lt. Elfman
Lt. Sophist
Ensign Scoots
Chief Engineer Blackliger

Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 17, 2004
Posts: 310
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 10:36 pm    
Post subject:
---------------
I want to date 7 of 9
_________________
ElfManBack to top

Forum Moderator
Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 166
Location: Indiana
Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 11:57 pm    
Post subject:
---------------
Resume For Position with the U.A.Federation

Name:Monastic

Objective: I Enjoy exploring new worlds, meeting
new civilizations and helping to spread peace &
understanding.

Experience: Have worked as a Transporter Technician
and I am a certified Holodeck Technician. Have working
knowledge of voice interface systems and variable phase
inverters. Have worked with dilithium crystals, tritanium
and plasma conduits.

I am able to speak fluent Klingon also learning many of
the customs and preparation of foods and have worked on trades/exchanges with Ferengi, too.

Education: Graduated with slightly above average grades
from StarFleet Academy on StarDate 2369. Graduated in
the same class as Lieutenant Reg Barkley. Have worked
on various projects under the instruction of Commander
Geordi LaForge and have studied under the care of Chief
Petty Officer Miles O’Brien.

Interests: Spending time on the Holodeck (but not too much
time). I prefer Synthehol over Romulan Rum (as I have had
many a lost weekend because of this drink) and can play a
mean game of poker.

I have no intolerance for Lycra (I actually like the feel of it)
and am not persuaded to keep Tribbles onboard as I am
allergic to Tribble dander.

References: I have hand written letters of accomodations by
both Commander Geordi LaForge and Seven of Nine as to my
abilities and qualifications that can be seen upon request.
I also am able to boldly go where no man has gone before.
Looking for a position with Starfleet and hoping that you
can “make it so.”Back to top

Stardate 18052005:

Captain's Log, "This is Captain
Dunctvis and here is my 18052005
events to consider. We are currently
nagotiating with the Emoticon's. They
are a oddly expressive life form that has
this thing for idle bull...t, and eyecontact.

Our first encounter with them wasn't
very effective. They wanted us to do
some kind of skin to skin shake of the
fingers that gave our Ships Embassador
scratches and shivers. He is right now
in his cabin needing some emotional time.

These life forms have similar technology
as we do, but are different. Oh! Soooo!
many words we aren't able to grasp their
meaning because they don't string together.

As I write this Lt.Sophist, our temporary
communications officer is trying to translate
their language code?.

Science Officer Mr.Ghosthunter and lt. Elfman
seem to get along with these strange life forms.

What is strange is we can write but not grasp the
spoken, yet they grasp both and CHUCKLE!
confuse the heck out of the Emotioncons, thus
rescuing our Ships Embassor on New life Form
Relations from further confusion....Hmmmm?

Hummm! Ummmm! Hummmm!

Captain! We are getting a garbled message from
the Emotioncons and Lt.Sophist, acting communications
officer is unable to grasp all of this they say. Hmmmm?

Most Intriguing! They are arming their shields?

Commander Civet, Ready Battle Stations!
"Yes, Sir" I am on it. End of Captains log and
the intro to the Emotioncons.

Hmmmm? Fascinating!
Ghosthunter

Forum Moderator
Joined: Apr 01, 2005
Posts: 194
Location: Upper Midwest, USA
Posted: Thu May 19, 2005 12:31 am    
Post subject:
---------------
What a great thread!

monastic, I don't think I put that much effort into
my *real* resume.

Great job!

BeeBeeBack to top

Forum Moderator
Joined: Jul 02, 2004
Posts: 948
Location: East Central Wisconsin
Posted: Thu May 19, 2005 4:28 am    
Post subject:
---------------
I went along and took some photos

http://images.jsc.nasa.gov/luceneweb/
fullimage.jsp?photoId=S82-41141
http://images.jsc.nasa.gov/luceneweb/
fullimage.jsp?photoId=S82-39533
http://images.jsc.nasa.gov/luceneweb/
fullimage.jsp?photoId=S82-39672
http://images.jsc.nasa.gov/luceneweb/
fullimage.jsp?photoId=STS005-07-267
http://images.jsc.nasa.gov/luceneweb/
fullimage.jsp?photoId=STS005-06-210
http://images.jsc.nasa.gov/luceneweb/
fullimage.jsp?photoId=STS005-04-134
_________________
I live my life to prove wrong those who said I
couldn't make it in life...Back to top

I want to be the evil alien computer who Kirk tries to bore into committing suicide......

Tafkash wrote:

You wouldn't be talking about....no...dare I say the name?

LANDREW????? Oh no!! ! Not LANDREW!! ! It can't be, the Captain destroyed him long ago....didn't he?

the enormous amounts of golden sunshine I spread into peoples' lives herein....

Why does this make me think of a margarine advert?