Critical skills to teach a child on the spectrum

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Hi all,

I would like ideas on what important skills to teach a child on the spectrum to boost his self-confidence and improve the quality of his life ? Child in question is 5 (almost 6) and still pre-verbal.

Thanks !

If you can teach him to ask for help and to ask for company. There are people who will prey on you when you're vulnerable and can't communicate. Being able to ask for company (and get it) can help make the world safer and better for him.

I'm not sure what kind of skills you mean....big/multi-part practical skills like dressing yourself? Or individual component skills that are used for big, whole, skills -- like sequencing or motor skills?

Self dressing, using the toilet, grooming and hygiene, communication skills and stranger danger.

thanks everyone and apologies for not being very clear.

i would appreciate your inputs on what skills you (adults or teenagers on the spectrum) value the most in your lives and regard as having a profoundly positive effect on your life ? i like waterfalls' advise to teach him to ask for help and company and am looking for similar feedback. since my son still cant communicate much i was hoping that people with communication skills would help me by sharing their input / experiences with me. i know that some skills may not be developmentally appropriate to teach him now but that information would still be good to know !

thank you all so much in advance.

Is he toilet-trained yet?

A lot of autistic people are late to use the toilet properly.

I asked her because I have communicated with her in the past. Toilet-training was one of her main concerns.

Keep working on the verbal skills, he has plenty of time to learn. I think communication is the most important skill to learn. Unfortunately I have no practical advice.

Ah. But I don't think six is that old to still be having toilet issues.

no he is not 100% toilet trained. he still needs to be taken on a strict schedule and has not initiated any trips to the potty yet or signed for them - we have accidents if we don't keep the schedule. he also tends to leave the bathroom naked if one of us is not around to prompt him to put his underwear and pants on before exiting the toilet.

androbot i am starting to worry that he may never talk as he still does not say a word so your posting is very encouraging to me. in your opinion how long -- until what age -- would you give a child to develop verbal skills ? thanks for sharing.

(I have aspergers not autism, if your son has autism I have no clue)

We struggle to find friends and relationships. Alot of aspie depression stems from this.

focus on social skills / interacting with kids his age. He Will learn slower but can still learn.

I think later on teach him about the values of aspergers and how it affects him. Which will help him adapt to society

As they say "no man is an island"

the other areas of grief a) finding /keeping employment and b) looking after ourselves

I know for myself that my body has always felt foreign and unworkable. He may be trying to mentally separate from bodily functions by not acknowledging them. But he needs to take responsibility for his body. This may be something that comes naturally when he enters puberty. In the meantime, just keep with the program. That way when he does take the step to bodily responsibility he will have the tools.


I would say it is a lifelong process. Do you use flash cards? My Mom made up flash cards when I was a kid to help me to pronounce sounds. I was five at the time. They were like "br" "th", etc. I remember her having me practice ad nauseam, but it helped a lot.

interestng - if you have time can you share your language development please ? did you understand a lot more than you used at 5 ? my son has apraxia and speech does not yet seem to be on the horizon (only has a few repetitive sounds)

Repetitive sounds are good. Try to entice him to try new sounds. Maybe sing the sounds to him. He might copy them.

I have apraxia too. It is very frustrating to not be able to get your thoughts out through a defective voice. I still have trouble making my mouth form to the sounds of language. Sometimes people think I have some unknown accent. Lol. But the worst is the mental translation of thoughts and images to words. I have thought that autistics are meant to be telepathic.
So there are two stumbling blocks: the mental formation of words, and, the physical challenge of making the sounds.

yeah the apraxia is what really makes things so difficult for him. can you share what strategies have helped you with linking thoughts and images to words ?