Has anyone here "grown out" of their autism?Any advice?

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sAMY
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10 May 2015, 3:23 pm

So I recently started becoming aware of what "my" autism is and it's causing great confusion(mainly due to the fact I had a recent psychosis).I'm hoping to find others here who have gone through this before and can help me collect my thoughts.

The best way I can explain the biggest issue I faced with my autism is by referencing the "Sally-anne test" ,well I was aware others had their own views and beliefs and the like ,I had trouble applying it to real life scenarios and I never noticed.

I also lacked the ability to truly reflect on my life ,it seems as though I blocked-out a majority of my life because my autism was so bad and I couldn't handle the fact that was once who I was and to a degree still am.

I really wish I had someone to help me sort through these feelings.



KaylamiYarne
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10 May 2015, 10:50 pm

I'm probably in no place to give help (never been mentally evaluated or diagnosed but suspect I'm a HFA) but Temple Grandin, who I think had a more severe form of autism than some, said that as you grow older you become less and less autistic, like learning an act in a play. I think our differences will always remain a part of us and trying to destroy them will only destroy ourselves. I also think "becoming less autistic" will always be a sort of acting school.



sAMY
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14 May 2015, 5:53 pm

Bumping this topic because I would really love to talk to someone who has gone through this too.


The best way I can put this ,is that its like going through a "spiritual awakening".My mind is learning and open to all these new things that were there but it refused to process.

The cringe worthy things I've done haunt me now more than they ever have before ,for I noticed EVERYTHING now and not just the extremes.



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14 May 2015, 6:21 pm

I don't know how old you are, but humans go through different developmental stages where the brain reorganizes itself (puberty to about age 25, then it does it again). This is why being a teenager sucks, and why midlife crises happen. Do you think that could be what's happening?

I know the older I get, the easier things are for me to figure out, because I've had time to soak it all up and have started figuring it out like a giant jigsaw puzzle over the past few years, and things are finally making sense, but I still feel like I have a long ways to go.


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kraftiekortie
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14 May 2015, 6:35 pm

I don't know if this would help:

I was profoundly autistic until the age of 5--when I developed speech. All of a sudden, I became "Asperger's-like."

I'm glad you're acquiring insight, even at this relatively "late" age. I know it's scary--but it's a step in the right direction.

NEVER tell yourself that you're "retarded." Because it isn't true.

Have you informed any therapist of your newfound powers of insight?



GoldTails95
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14 May 2015, 7:13 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't know if this would help:

I was profoundly autistic until the age of 5--when I developed speech. All of a sudden, I became "Asperger's-like."

I'm glad you're acquiring insight, even at this relatively "late" age. I know it's scary--but it's a step in the right direction.

NEVER tell yourself that you're "retarded." Because it isn't true.

Have you informed any therapist of your newfound powers of insight?


I am Aspeger her like today just like you kraftiekortie and has been since 5 just like you. But my developmental history before is different: I grew up normally like a nuerotypical until I was 2 1/2. Then, I had an unusual type of autistic regression that is very much l like what happened to Owen Suskind when he was almost 3. Between that time and when I was 5, I was probably severely autistic.But today, even tough I am Aspergers like, I still act very childish in a few areas.


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Last edited by GoldTails95 on 14 May 2015, 7:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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14 May 2015, 7:16 pm

Some things have changed. My interests are a little more diverse and less obsessive, and I feel more comfortable in social settings, but I still don't fit in, view the world the same as others, or have interests in many normal things.

Roll with what you can, live with what you can't.



GoldTails95
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14 May 2015, 7:21 pm

And in my first 2 1/2 years of normal development before I regressed I was doing much better than my Nuerotypical brother at these equivalent ages. I was 1 when I started speaking but like I said I lost it all at age 2 1/2 and did not get it back until I was 5.


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kraftiekortie
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14 May 2015, 7:37 pm

At least you got it back :D



sAMY
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14 May 2015, 9:59 pm

The worst is for like a minute or two a day ,I become "normal". It's a strange feeling but everything is so fluid and easy ,even social interaction.

The insight I gained is bad enough ,but to actually experience normality at the same time is the worst.



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15 May 2015, 5:02 am

I have a cousin who seems to have ''grown out'' of his possible ASD. When he was a child he was very different to other children, and it wasn't his upbringing because his sisters were both typical NTs. He was just different. He had difficulties mixing with other children at school, wouldn't make eye contact very much until he was about 11, wouldn't do anything when in a large group of children he didn't know (he would just sit there, not eat, not talk, not play, or anything), had an obsession with electrical stuff and would sit there for hours on his own taking stuff apart even when he was as young as 3, was rather socially inappropriate (used to keep squeezing and holding me and wouldn't let go, I think he was comfortable with me the most), and he also didn't like loud noises. He had meltdowns at home apparently, but not in the company of others, except for his mum. And he sometimes used to walk out of the house if something like the printer wasn't working or his parcel hadn't come that morning or something like that, and he would go somewhere by himself and stay there for a couple of hours to calm down, then came home when he was ready. I remember all this, and no it was not his upbringing.

Now he is in his 20's and has a good group of NT mates, is always out doing things with them, and is sharing a house with one now. He goes out to bars with his mates, and even went all the way to America on his own, well with a group of people he didn't know, so he was basically on his own to begin with. He probably made friends with them though, and enjoyed his holiday by the sounds of it.

Maybe I'm just stereotyping by saying that Aspies don't have a reliable group of friends, and that Aspies can't do things like go on holiday on their own with a group of people they don't know. It's because I've never had a reliable group of friends, and I have trouble speaking up in group conversations, and I don't have the courage to go to America with a load of people I don't know and assume I will make friends with them. I might get as far as having small talk or rambling, but I find it hard to form close (friend) relationships, like close enough to do things beyond just texting or just meeting up for an hour or two in the town.


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15 May 2015, 5:22 am

Oddly enough, I did in fact go all the way to America on my own, too!

And I feel that it was actually that experience that helped me perform a kind of "growing out of my autism." Because forcing myself into that new situation I kind of consciously decided I'd better get more outgoing etc etc because it would be "sink or swim."

However, I agree with the person who said it's not so much a true "growing out of" autism as an "acting" or finding a way to present a face to the world that you've learned from experience is the one "normal people" present and that makes life smoother for you if you present that too.

This is, of course, if you can do that kind of masking/acting. And it's not actually really something that's all that good, to be honest; I think I'm suffering more from the fallout of constant "acting" myself out of my autism than if I'd just "been" it upfront all along.

I feel I've gone on an arc of ability with this "growing out of" thing. I remember myself as being very much more obviously autistic as a child and young person, in an era (the 1960s and 70s) when a milder higher functioning child like I was didn't even get on anyone's radar despite some obvious issues and traits, back then.

Then in my twenties (the American adventure I pushed myself into was huge catalyst) I did grope my way toward a presentation of less autistic traits and more NT behavior -- but never let it be said that I did in fact still have some serious issues that "bust out" and bubbled up that were my autism "coming out again." So, for me it was never a total experience of "wow I'm normal completely, now!"

In my older-middle-age, I now sometimes feel I'm actually regressing again. My traits are feeling much, much worse lately, I'm acting and feeling even more "autistic" than I've been since I was that very autistic child, and I think it's because I'm burning out from a lifetime of trying to suppress my real (less wonderful) level of functioning and coping ability.


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15 May 2015, 7:46 am

Hi, I have to agree that as I have grown older I find myself experiencing less of the negative impact of being on the spectrum.

I have to confess that I'm not sure whether it is due to fact that at my age, people expect you to be grumpy, so that helps, but also - as others have said - I have learned scripts and scenes for what works in that type of situation and perfected them to the point where I can pass. Society is so superficial most of the time that nobody realises anyway! I think we could make brilliant actors if we set our minds to it. It also helps to know your 'triggers' and avoid those situations wherever possible. Easy to say and sometimes hard to do I appreciate, but true. I am far more strict with what I will do these days and care less and less about performing "normal". Having only one real friend (thankfully my life partner) it doesn't crop up that often - hurrah for Asperger's!

As a comedian once said, the trick is to learn to fake sincerity and then you have it cracked! 8) I don't mean to be superficial, but it made me chuckle when I heard it as it occurred to me that so many people were doing this faking and I was hopeless at it! :roll: " Just be honest and tell me what you think....WHAT!?!.....You didn't have to say that!" "But you said be honest!......I'll get my coat."

I hope the voyage of discovery is positive for you sAMY, it is a brave thing to do but it is worth it. Being more at peace with yourself is a great aim to have and makes life a lot easier to deal with.


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15 May 2015, 9:35 am

I don't think you grow out of it, but in some ways it can affect you differently. In some ways it may get worse and in others better. Quite a few people, including myself, seem to have it worse in some ways by quite a way. Like you have different expectations now that you're becoming more of an adult and living independently. I lasted a week at away from home at university before I quit and came home, I now go to one 15 minutes away. I just couldn't do the whole independent thing very well, I pretty much live by myself now but my car makes a massive amount of difference. Also in some ways I have improved a lot, I can control meltdowns much more and I have less arguments (more like screaming matches most of the time) when asked to do things I don't want to do. I'm not sure if any of that made any sense or is of any help.



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15 May 2015, 10:55 am

I was more severe as a child and have gotten less and less as I have gotten older. I didn't like noisy crowded places as a small child and everything seemed louder when I was a kid and now things seem quieter. I was more tactile defense as a kid and I got more upset as a child and had more problem with change. I said more inappropriate things because I didn't know how it would make others feel and how it would come off as and I was very concrete and very visual. I could talk about the same things over and over if I was allowed to or wear the same clothes. I was more picky with food when we ate out because I preferred the same kind over and over and rarely tried anything new. I was more inflexible in my play and everything had to be my way and I always had to be in control. I have heard about autism symptoms fading and I have noticed the same in me. Rather you grow out of it or not is a argument people have rather you had it to begin with or not or if you just learned to adapt. Temple Grandin has talked about getting used to noisy places but she actually turns her hearing off. I just zone out and not notice what goes on around me. It's like I block it all out and forget about the noise.


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