Anybody else have a special interest that causes anxiety?

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Hi,
This is my first post so please forgive me for any posting faux pas. I have searched for this as I was hoping to find someone in the same position as me, but I didn't find anything in existing threads. I have a special interest/hobby/specialisation/whatever you would like to call it in a particular orchestra. I am very motivated to find out about it, but I also find it quite anxiety provoking as I don't know what they are doing, worry that I am missing out on information about them, etc. I also feel embarrassed because other people have mocked my interest. I have thought about going cold turkey and trying to avoid my special interest, but that makes me feel very sad too. Anyone else been in this position?

To clarify what you are saying...

You like an orchestra and you get anxious at the thought of missing one of their recitals?


Me, I like to keep up with certain news topics and feel that I need to know what happened or is happening. I have been told by various therapists and such to purposefully avoid the news for periods of time so that I can feel comfortable not knowing.

I know when their recitals are because it's on the website. It's more the bits in between; what are they doing between concerts?, are they rehearsing?, recording? etc. Also, worrying about there being changes in personnel as these just happen without any announcement. It makes me sound a bit stalkerish! I just don't like the uncertainty. ..

Thanks for replying. I am a slightly less Lonely Lobster now!

Would any changes to the personnel affect you in any way? Are there certain members who make this orchestra what it is to you?

Could you contact them and ask if you could attend rehearsals, or if there are any voluntary jobs you could do to help support them?

Do you have them on social media?

Lol yeah, like you probably can't imagine. I wish mine were this simple. I too kick myself for getting out of touch with music (huge audiophile over here, waking up to self-EQ'd death metal). Such anxieties of mine center around technology though. Namely, gambling hundreds, nay sometimes thousands of dollars worth of my gear (smartphones, disks/drives, tablets, laptops or just logical houses of cards) on a daily basis in the process of implementing, testing and learning fancy code. It's my life, not just some career, I won't be changing anything for a while and while it can play havoc on many a techies' nerves, it brings us closer to the future we want. I basically have to become a mountain hobbit to escape the demand, pressure and stereotyping foisted upon my peers. I say peers because I've accrued a lot of experience in keeping my head above such nonsense.

Anyways, what orchestra are you referring to?

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

And now I am going to get embarrassed. It's the Johann Strauss Orchestra, which is about as far as you can get away from death metal! I really hate the orchestra leader, a Dutch guy named Andre Rieu, so I don't have much in common with other fans, who are usually older women who adore him. I don't even like the music that much. I just like the musicianship of the individual players and I am interested in the technical aspects. I guess I find the social aspect of being in an orchestra interesting. I am not really sure. I just know I think about it a lot and I am motivated to find out more about it, but also loathe aspects of it. I am really embarrassed about admitting this!

Do you play an instrument?

I have dabbled. A bit of classical guitar. A bit of trombone. I don't think it is my skill. I am a better listener!

How about you?

So what is it that really fascinates you?

Have you considered joining a club or taking more lessons?


I was a DJ when younger, I also took a sound engineering course and ever since I've always had some kind sequencer and music making tools on my computer, but only for my own entertainment.