Alexithymia and over thinking

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Alexithymia....inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. 85% of people with aspergers have it. Can anyone with it explain what it's like? Also do you typically overthink everything which causes bad anxiety? I just want an inside look and perspective as to what this is like. Thanks in advance.

I have no diagnosis for anything except social anxiety, but I have always struggled to identify and explain my feelings to myself and others. It's frustrating. I understand my emotions, sort of and sometimes, in this wordless way in the very back of my mind and... I can't explain it any better than that. I can't put words to the feelings, and often I'm not even sure what the feeling is, just that it's there, wordless and hiding out in the back of my head. I over think things aaaalll the time and yes, drive my anxiety nuts doing it. I spend so much time analysing things going on in my own head trying to make sense of myself, and it's really hard. It's also frustrating for friends and family too, because when I'm upset about something I hole myself up and let it stew because I don't know how to talk about things. I'm in the process of getting a psychiatrist (which takes forever I'm learning) to give me a more formal look-over than my physician can, and over-thinking myself into dreading it because I know I won't know what to say when I finally do get one, and that it will end up being a waste of time because how can anyone else figure out what's going on in my head if I can't?

That's really insightful. Do you ever push people away that you care about? And do you have a lot of fear? Last question, do you ever just need alone time to sort a lot of things out?

I personally think this is an extension on the fact people with Aspergers can identify most emotions period. I often feel a strong emotion but I am unable to identify what it is. I seem to feel a strong emotion when I am in loud, uncomfortable social situations which I am unable to identify, sometimes I just want to smash something because of this feeling. Annoyed? Maybe.

Two questions: (Rudin)
1) Can you understand other people's emotions if they tell you how they feel?
2) Can you feel other people's emotions? For instance if your close friend is sad.

1) Not really, I don't know why they feel that way. But I understand they could feel that way.
2) Yes sort of. For instance, I was an inspirational movie called Good Will Hunting and when the main character Will was crying (hence sad) I felt sad, although I didn't cry.

Why do you ask?

I sent a PM to explain further, but mostly out of trying to understand. Do you ever push people away?

I think this describes pretty well the way that I experience it. Emotions, particularly intense ones, seem to blur together. So I can explain them in sort of broad, general terms, but anything more nuanced takes a lot of time and effort to unravel. The frustrating thing is the way that these emotions seem to influence my actions even when I'm not consciously aware of them. For example, I might avoid something because I have anxiety about it even if I'm not consciously aware that I'm anxious.

This gets doubly problematic when I need to explain my reasons for doing something. The real reason might just be "because: anxiety", but since I'm not aware of that I end up fabricating the next thing I can think of that seems most plausible.

Do you ever find yourself saying the wrong thing, and realizing it later?

Or, even more frustrating, being able to put into words in your head how you feel, but not being able to get this out vocally, at all? That happens to me all the time.

I received your PM, expect a further PM.

Push people away. Not really, I remove myself from others at times. I am only comfortable talking to a select group of people, so if anyone tries to talk to me I will probably slowly walk away. I don't ask people to leave, I remove myself from people I want to leave.

Yeah, especially in the middle of something stressful like an argument. I look back on it afterwards and think "why the hell did I say those things".


Not so much that one. It's pretty all or nothing for me.

Same here. I can only describe my emotions in broad terms i.e. happy, sad, angry etc. some very detailed emotions that I feel I can't put my metaphorical finger on.

I don't seem to have a problem with alexithymia. It's difficult to describe a complex mix of emotions, but I think that's a limitation of language and that I don't have more difficulty than most other people do. However, it's pretty rare to witness anyone giving a nuanced description of their own feelings, so I don't have a great reference point.

I think I may have pushed people away in the past, but for the most part I have made friends with patient, strange people so they tend to put up with me, or are willing to come back when I've calmed down. I have issues with anxiety, so I definitely have quite a few fears. Needles, the dark, dying, talking to people, and more that just aren't coming to me right now. I need a lot of alone time to figure things out; I can't think when I'm around people, possibly because I'm too distracted by trying to socialise (which is difficult for me).