How do you know if someone is just being "polite?"

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I had an incident the other week that made me realize I do not know the difference. My roomate and I were looking for a place to stay for a night. I texted a friend to ask if I could stay with her. She replied with "You could... although I have other people staying that night as well...". I showed my roomate the text and said we might be able to stay with her. My roomate said "That means no. That is the polite way of saying no." I'm really confused. Why would she put "You could" if she meant no? How did she expect me to know thats what she meant? How do I know the difference?

I don't think you or your roommate are 100% correct.

I think the friend that texted you was saying, "If you are in dire circumstances and cannot find another place to stay, I am willing to help you and let you stay here. But I'd rather you not stay here, if possible, because I already have company coming and it'd be too much for me."

She just said it in a more succinct way.

I would read it as nerdygirl did.

I don't think you can. I take things literal and I don't even know someone is just being polite until afterwards and that is just me speculating.

I hate it when people are vague and dance around an issue.

Probably why it says "...his communication is blunt, but correct..." on my official diagnosis.

I'm just going by experience, here.

Usually, if I am confused about a thing like this, I push the person for a clarification, saying something like, "Do you want me to stay or do you not want me to stay?" Usually, I get a "Well, YES, come and stay", or a reluctant (apologizing), "Well......it'd really be better if you don't stay because (fill in the blank). Sorry." Then I will, depending on the answer, say "Great" or "No problem, I understand."