rejected after an interview for not responding to non-verbal

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I recently had a number of University interviews, but I was rejected. I couldn't work out why because I thought it went well. I ended up doing a freedom of information request to get access to the interview notes about me.

In all cases I ended up losing quite a few marks for non-verbal communication with comments given such as "there are issues with his receptive communication" and "doesn't respond to non-verbal cues". I didn't even realize they were giving me non-verbal cues, or what the nature of the cues were. I remember one of the interviewers was very expressive with his face, but I don't know what I was supposed to do with his over-emotive face expressions other than continue to answer the question that was asked.

I'm going to reapply, but I don't know what to do to fix the issues they mentioned in their notes so that it doesn't happen again. What is the best way to fix the issues mentioned so that I don't have the same problem next year?

The answer I am going to give you is one that doesn't sit well with me. However, you may have to adopt the following tactics next time to get past this hurdle:

1) mirror their body language.

I can almost hear you saying (perhaps) in response to this suggestion - how can I focus on that and focus my mind on the questions at the same time?

2) make appropriate 'NT' eye contact

Again, I hear you; you are not NT, so this is a big ask. And what is appropriate? (Neither too much or too little) If you can't make eye-contact, watch their lips (micro-expressions at the corners of their mouth will provide you with some information about how they are responding to you - if you notice a tightening there, steer your answer into a different direction)

3) lighten up

When we are in a situation where we have to present our ideas and verbalise for ourselves, we can come across as so serious that it is possible to create the mis-impression that we have no social skills at all. People on the spectrum naturally experience a lot of anxiety in these situations - bombardment with open questions doesn't help

4) consider some pharmaceutical help

Some people have successfully used Beta Blockers, or benzodiazepines, or a stiff drink (only one) before the interview.

5) Provide some positive feedback to the interviewer

These are all kinds of affirming statements:

"that's a really good question..."
"I'm glad that you ask me that, my thoughts on it are that..."
"thank you so much for seeing me; I have really enjoyed meeting you"

6) Don't provide super-lengthy answers

people who are academic by nature have a tendency to do this and perhaps especially so if they are also on the spectrum.

7) Study "affable" presentation skills

Presumably, you have got through to the interview stage because they already think your knowledge base fits their needs; now they will be looking for things like how good a communicator you are (if you will be involved in teaching students). A sense of humour is highly valued, as is a ready smile (when appropriate) and a general air of affability. You will have to study these skills and practice at home and learn them off by heart - like an arithmetic times table

I can almost hear you say "but why should I have to do these things? why can't I just be myself?"

The answer is that you won't have to do these things when people on the spectrum run things; but we don't, and so "when in Rome, you have to do as the Romans do". I know it is a big ask; and possibly impossible to action all of these suggestions, though even if you only master a couple of the most relevant ones, it may make for a very different outcome.

Good luck; I wish you every success in the future.

As painful as it was to read (because I doubt it sits well with any of us, honestly), I'd say B19's advice is spot on.

It sucks that we have to do this kind of dance. It really does. But that's how the NT world works.

The difficult part is remembering to do all of those things while still keeping on the interview task of actually answering the questions. If you have co-morbid anxiety, it can seem like a mountainous task. Don't let it get too overwhelming for you. If you forget a few of B19's points, don't stress. As long as you get a few of the listed NT things right, you should be able to pass well.

I, too, wish you good luck!

I agree that B19's recommendations are good advice for you.

However, I would be (and have been frequently) more direct in finding a remedy to this kind of practice. First, I would find a news reporter in the local media who I could trust in getting the report correct. Secondly, I would make a public statement that I believed that the university might have violated the Americans with Disabilities Act provisions which prohibit making employment decisions based on known characteristics of people with ASD. Finally, I would contact the university's board of regents, president and academic senate leaders, and copying the university's ADA specialist(s) within its human-resources office. Throw in a copy to the state office of the attorney general and another to the local chamber of commerce. Use buzz-phrases like "fair," "fairness" and "expected to be judged on my skills and experience, not on things like non-verbal comprehension."

Now, I recognize that these actions aren't necessarily supported by the ADA and related laws if, in fact, you never disclosed your ASD to the university prior to the incident, but that doesn't really matter in this case, as you are acting politically not legalistically. The confluence of the news reports, and the sharing of a complaint with the decision makers at the university and its community, will likely provoke an immediate reaction from the university. This might repair the policy that currently allows for such considerations. But, the reparation would almost certainly benefit future applicants, not you. The university crowd will do almost anything to avoid appearing discriminatory.

So, I respect a less-combative strategy, but I can't say that I wouldn't use the reaction that I have used throughout my life. After all, it worked ... just not for my employment situations.

Did you inform them ahead of time of the fact that you have autism? If so, you may be able to file some sort of appeal for discrimination, or, if they just didn't know enough about autism to recognise its symptoms, you could talk to the interviewers and see if they'd be willing to give you a second chance. If you didn't tell them about your autism in advance, and you don't want them to know, B19's suggestion for mimicking their behaviour stands a reasonable chance of success, but then you have to contend with the fact that they may wonder what happened once you get the job and stop displaying all the "socially appropriate" behaviours that you showed during the interview.

What sort of job requires you understand Non-verbal cues. What was the job you applied for maybe you should apply for a job where social skills arent that important. You should tell the employer you have Autism maybe then they would be more understanding and give you a second chance. You cant be expected to learn social skills overnight I understand what the others are saying about mimicking the interviewer's behaviour but I disagree. I used to always worry about what faces I was making and my body language but it just made me more nervous just be yourself. If the Interviewers cant see past your Illness then maybe the jobs not worth it anyway and you should apply for a job were the employers are more understanding of your situation. Hope this help's

grrrr...

I would have to wear the Cash tshirt to help with the non-verbal communication.

Sounds bizarre, and difficult to help with given the vagueness of the comments. Perhaps you could try asking the interviewer more questions, like "Would you like me to elaborate on that answer?" - the problem could have been you were talking to too much and didn't recognise an indication to stop. But all this is just speculation. Know your stuff and brush up on general interview skills, and try your best

Excellent advice, B19!

I'm marking this thread so I can find it again ...

...

I am glad that you found it helpful

One thing I would like to add about open questions:

unfortunately, interviewers are told by books (they read them too) to use these; an open question is for example "what sort of things do you like?"

An HFA can experience a flood of mental connections in response to open questions ("I like carrots, animals, maths, films, figuring out a new theory of the universe, eggs on toast..").

A closed question is:
"do you like maths?"

Generally, we do better when responding to the specific closed questions. "I was awarded an A+ in maths when I was 17, it is one of my favourite disciplines". It is easier for us to FOCUS when asked closed questions, the 'yes or no' kind. (But don't just answer with a yes or no, you need to provide an additional statement).

So another 'advanced' interview techinique which can be useful, once you get the hang of it, is:

"answer open questions as if they are closed questions"

A simplistic example of answering an open question as a closed question:
"what are your fields of interest"
"Physics is my favourite thing, I want to research string theory "

I used to work at Jack in the Box myself and for one any job you get that doesn't require a degree will be garbage. Im a hard working person and I put a lot of effort into my work but fast food places and other businesses do not care at all about how quality your work is. They just want you to get your job done fast in the standards they have and nothing more. A lot of those non-degree jobs turn down so many people and they do it for a reason. Think about how many people say "Oh yeah I don't need to go to school. I can work in construction or whatever and make it". These businesses have many people to pick from and they will pick only those who meet their match by paper. The only other type of people they hire are those recommended to them from reliable sources. So unless you have one of those two things, you are screwed. To have the first thing (and every normal person does this) is lie about yourself. There are people who are socially awkward who lie and act as if they aren't. Ive heard of organizations that give jobs to people with Autism but I don't know how legit that is or anything. I wouldn't want a job to be just handed to me anyways because I didn't earn it myself.