Trying to become a teacher, starting to worry

Post Reply New Topic

I have been trying to become a teacher for a while, but mostly because of people ignorance (like the special education teacher who told me autistics shouldn't be teachers before basically causing me to get kicked from a program after I knew her just a few days and was getting better than average marks) and a series of unfortunate situations (I was partially responsible for, ala getting a self-contained class with 30 students was bad... but it might have been my fault for not doing more to ensure that wouldn't happen) it has been an uphill climb. Once again I am trying to get back in the classroom through a elementary school Montessori program... but I am wondering if I can handle it. I learned today that when I am exhausted (which everyone in the program is, we have been keeping an insane schedule), all my coping mechanisms can fail me (just caused me to stim hard today) and I don't know what that would look like if I was in front of students (nothing violent, never been my thing, but still).

My hope was that I could combine my experience with both Montessori and Special Education and for a while that seemed likely, but not so much anymore. I can still do so after a 1 year internship and I am allowed to leave the area to look at more schools... but that is still a year away and I still have to complete the internship. I am tempted to tell the people in charge and see if I can get any assistance getting into the kind of school I feel I would be most successful at, but... that could get me kicked from the program (or at least make it harder to complete the 1 year internship). I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, and not sure how to get out... any advice would be cool.

P.S. A bit of what I am worried about

1) Will I be able to handle a class of 30+ kids which is typical/preferred in Montessori (but I have only had 1 bad experience with). 30+ kids can lead to a lot of chaos.

2) Will I be able to handle having very little time alone for 7 straight hours (Montessori teachers tend to always be with students, and I need often need time to decompress)

3) Will I get a teacher that has very little knowledge of autism, like most do... part of what has hurt me in the past has been teachers which all sorts of misconceptions of autism which winds up hurting me a lot as if I am not perfect out of the gate I am never going to get it in their mind.

4)... Ummm I will think of something else...


I know I can teach, I have been doing so in smaller environments for years now, and have kept the same clients for years (when most only last with a client for a few months). I am good at this... but... I am good at this is special education settings (but will never make enough just being a para or the like or continuing the tutoring I am doing now). I am just not sure I can do this in the wrong setting.

I wish I had more encouraging things to say but even my non-autistic husband who has been teaching for 7 years finds it insanely stressful. By the end of the school year, his colleagues all up their drinking and no one can wait for summer to start so they can de-stress.
I'm not sure how different Montessori is to mainstream schooling as far as dealing with teachers, but they might be more particular? I've never heard of being on the spectrum as being a specific deterrent to getting hired, but they could feel it could bring more problems than they want to deal with, considering you'd have to deal with not just the students, but the parents as well.

It's not impossible, it'll just be a lot of hard work. I really do hope you can find what works for you and you're able to get the job you want!

You are between a rock and a hard place.
I knew a HFA student in my class training for a similar area of interest, personally I didn't see anything 'wrong' with her mannerisms, she seemed quite regular to me bar needing to learn how to be self reflective about her practice, it took her longer than others to make the connections, but when she did, she 'got it' on a meaningful level. My colleagues viewed her challenges with social reciprocation as a major issue for the social and emotional development of the children she would be working with. I think in hindsight that if I had not supported her, she would not have succeeded in completing the course if reliant on the other team members for assistance, there are passive ways to experience discrimination.

She went on to do an AMI degree, the rigid structure of Montessori method was quite suited to her natural abilities. Her aim was to work with 16 pre school children and one other staff member. I think this was realistic.
If you can get one discrete but genuine supporter on the academic team, your chances of completion will improve.

I could not work with 30 children, I do not have that capability, I completed work experience in a primary school and at the end of it I concluded that teachers were underpaid, and worked too many hours.
Children are intense and require constant supervision/direction, very little alone time, none to be exact. Parental partnership is also a difficult additional task, 30-60 parents to team up with would challenge me way beyond my abilities.
In order to provide for the educational needs of others, you need to have your needs balanced first, especially based on your description of needing to decompress.

+1

What are your reasons for wanting to teach in what may be "the wrong setting" as you say, rather than keep doing what you know you are good at, i.e. teaching in smaller environments?
Money, job security? Anything else?
Is it worth the price you may find yourself paying (exhaustion etc)?
Is there perhaps a way that you can get that same extra money, job security or whatever, in some other way?

Sorry if these sound like prying or overly inquisitive questions, if you'd rather keep the answers to yourself I totally understand, just hoping you have thought about it.

In the interest of full disclosure - my better half & I homeschool our kids. Personally I don't see how a typical classroom can be a good learning environment for anyone, student or teacher; though you never know, people are so different, it might be genuinely good for some. But here's something that may be interest:

At one point, another local homeschooling family started a small learning group where they privately hired a teacher - someone who was qualified and working in the regular education system (or special ed - I don't remember), but not full time, and had an open mind. The work she did there was completely private, outside the system. About 5 kids would meet a couple of times per week at said family's house for maybe 3-4 hours each time. Their parents all knew each other from local homeschool groups, and shared the cost, which went directly to the teacher, no bureaucracy, no middlemen, nothing. Our daughter was in that group for a while. In the end this particular group didn't really suit her that well and we took her out, but I think the basic model is excellent and would definitely try something like it again.
I dream of living someplace where self-organised groups like this - and teachers willing to work in such a setup - are abundant and easy to find. Where this kind of setup had its own keyword on every local "classified ads" website.

There seems to be a perception that "homeschooling" means it has to happen in the kids's own home, or that it has to be the parents doing all of the teaching in all of the subjects, and not a few other misconceptions. While I can't speak for other homeschoolers, I can say that for us, the most important aspect is being able to see and decide for ourselves what works and what doesn't, and if necessary dismiss the teacher and try someone else, or do it ourselves.
Equally importantly - if we want a teacher at all, we want one who teaches our kids because they choose to - not because they work in a system where they have no choice in the matter. They need to have the option of telling us: "Sorry but I'd rather not teach your son" or "20 kids is too many for me, my maximum group size is 10, take it or leave it" without any risk of jeopardizing their career or getting sued.

With the work you've done in smaller settings and the reputation you've built up there, is there a chance you could find something like this, or set up your own?

Quick update I did express my concerns to them, and they did offer a few suggestions, but not much. It seems like it is on me to see if my idea to work at the school I want two years instead of one (at reduced pay... *sighs*) will work. But the short answer for why I want it, I can't afford to live much longer on the $200 or so a week I make now. While homeschooling is a nice idea, there are so many co-ops around here (mostly sponsored by local churches) that it makes it a bit hard to do as it isn't hard to find a place if you are even remotely interested (and while the churches do have several classes that preach a bit, most of them don't (worked with a kid for a while at one).

Tough one - good luck to you!
Hope someone else here can help more.

Generally in the United States, Montessori schools tend to be private and do not in my experience have 30 students as the standard class size. Montessori is a great way to teach. You can employ the strengths that come with being on the spectrum and it is child centered. I have been teaching in a Montessori classroom for a long time. You can PM me if you wish.