Can you not handle being around people?

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If it's PLANNED for example a birthday coming up and I know we'll have a small 8 person immediate family gathering than fine! Although OMG! PSYCHO CROWDED! Black Friday PLANNED and theme parks PLANNED I'm fine yet my mom's 50th surprise Birthday party of about 20 people I broke down crying and was super stressed and could barely function!! !!

One day my dad dropped me off at a church and hoped I'd go socialize and meet good people there etc. I sat on the stairs crying until mom picked me up. Older sister's exercise program about 10 people I didn't know again broke down issue.

Yet I can handle Black Friday or theme parks fine.

Wonder if this is familiar for others on the spectrum. I didn't know fully about the 50th Bday party until the DAY OF! and even psyching myself while getting a shower wasn't enough to avoid a meltdown.

Sadly this isn't considered a "disability" so I'll HAVE to find some way to function and find a job now. Anyone own any guns *hint?* No not that bad YET but not sure how I could handle a job! If I can't handle a 20 person party! Or barely function at a college campus in Spanish SHEESH!

Are you okay with Black Friday and theme parks because you don't necessarily have to interact with anyone? I know that's how I feel. If I have a reason to go to a crowded place, or a store, I can enjoy it to a point. I'm an observer or I'm there with my own agenda. Whereas the family gatherings or parties are worse, because I will have to interact with several individuals over the course of multiple hours.

**post edited after response due to parts left from trying to post and having the site delete it.

Good point your only "interaction" is with the clerk at the souvenir store OR you view the ads weeks in advance and RUSH to the video game section and maybe start a quickie 5 min. conversation about Mario NEVER to see that person again!! ! Unlike a job where you HAVE TO interact with people on a daily basis. Not sure I can function well enough to do that. But "Hey" I'm not "disabled" according to the government so I'll "try" to find a job not sure how that will go. Trying to slowly but surely.

I don't do Black Friday because they are packed like cattle off to market. Touch is a trigger for me. But fairs and amusement parks where we can spread out are fun. Family gatherings were always fine, I do OK talking to one person at a time and if the group grows beyond what I can handle no one seems to notice me drifting away.

But that just might be because it's my family. My family is used to weird. I had an uncle who was brain damaged at birth, he married a schizophrenic with learning disabilities. I have a cousin who is clinically insane and possibly autistic on top of that. I have another uncle who has what ever disability is in vogue at any given time so he can stay on the government teat... I'm not the weird one in my family

As for work, try to think outside the corporate box. If you can find work in a kitchen as a dishwasher or something you won't have so many people to deal with for instance. Or I work in a factory, we wear earplugs and most of my coworkers don't speak English so ... Are you good with animals? Maybe you can get a behind the scenes job at a shelter, feeding and walking dogs.

Perhaps getting on some anxiety medication would help like Buspar or antidepressant you'd take regularly or a benzodiazepine you can take as needed before the event.

I take Buspar but it gives me MAJOR nausea I take it in the morning and at night if I have a good breakfast it seems ok and the nausea is tapering off some but although I'm supposed to I don't take it mid day anymore since that's REAL bad feel sick kind of feeling. Not sure it'd help with the interaction with people issue though. I sort of understand it better putting it as "having to interact" not OMG! can't handle crowds which isn't true since I handle Black Friday and Disney World fine.

Interacting in Spanish class HUGE anxiety issue meltdown leave the room in tears when the teacher got to me lucky she understood and passed me albite with a C but hey I pass at least. Criminal Justice was topic I liked and just focused on listening NOT interacting verbally with the professor. 99% of my online course work was done online and I plan to do the same this coming Fall returning to college hopefully with a 100% ONLINE programming degree.

Public speaking is hard for everyone so anxiety there is normal thankfully.