ASD/Aspie & reality

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Hi all.

I wanted to discuss with other aspies about the reality of communication. Over past few years I have been so attached to the online world such as forums, Facebook, Youtube and that etc. I find it addicting, and it put a lot of pressure on my social and communication skills. I only have mild case of ASD, so I understand to learn things as easy than I thought after I had few sessions with counselors, workshops and programs regarding relationship, friendship, social and relationship skills and that etc.

After these sessions I have done, this year I have started to learn that the online world put a lot of disadvantage on my aspie traits because there are nothing to learn about from online in terms of skills. I learn a lot better when I am out in with the communities. Taking skills by theory rather than practical approach will not change your life. Thus this year is a huge change for me because many years I been through high school and during my undergraduate course, nothing has changed my life. So now, it is because I take less time being online and I joined several groups especially from Meetup website, my university (doing postgraduate degree at the moment), getting jobs and that etc. The more benefits I am getting from the reality world is because I am showing that myself as being aspie does not matter to many people in the communities including NTs. I believe such negativity from us aspies seeing NTs being negative to us is because we spend too much time online and not learning anything. I was in this situation, because I struggled to be with NTs.

For first time this year, I made so many friends with NTs than with aspies. I did join two aspie groups in my city, but my participation didn't last long. I am not going to take this seriously, but I see many other aspies are too extremely negative. They are all mild just like me. We hang out and that just normal, but they do not have same positive mind like I do. The difference is, clearly that they spend too much time online and take everything negatively. I am not sure if many of you all going to agree on this, but this is what I observe from my perspective. It is true in my case, because I was like them before I spend more time being in reality world and being with other community people. This is where I get all the support and opportunities like getting employed, financial benefits, new friends, hang outs and so on etc.

I really hope most of you all on this website would do a same, or I am hoping to hear from some of you who has dealt with it before. Looking forward to hear from you all

The online realm is escapism from reality.
Many of us need a lot of escapism because reality can be too intense, hostile, or something else.

It sounds to me like you're trying to condition (fix) yourself so that you become more NT.
Some people here share that goal, but many do not.

I am still really an aspie. My aspie traits still visible to people. I also have hearing loss too. So learning new skills and that will help me to be fit with anyone. That is most important part.

Being employed is a good thing.
Having friends is a good thing.
No need to apologize for that.

It sounds like your social skills are very good.
I try to get out there in the world and be active too,
and it's like hitting my head against a brick wall
even when I try my hardest.
But I do keep trying ... and if I don't make friends,
at least I do my best to make art.
And people seem to like my art, anyways.

My best friend was someone I met online, quite possibly an Aspie ...
we remained best friends until I lost her to heart disease.

And yes, I do have both an imagination
and an online presence.

As for my presence here at Wrong Planet,
I sometimes think I'm unpopular here
and don't belong on this forum
because I do try to be positive and post about my strengths and what I like about life
instead of venting or being negative or focusing on what's wrong ...
if there's another reason, who knows what it is,
if people don't share with me I'll never find out.

Well, here's hoping we can all find our niche,
discover where we belong,
and make real friends
along the way.

...

You could also interpret his post to mean he wants to learn skills which will be to his advantage in regard to his own personal goals, not to his advantage from an NT point of view. You are taking the negative view that he's describing. If you keep complaining about the NT world and waiting for it to change on its own, you will always be unhappy, because that will not happen. He's just trying to get out and see what he enjoys in life. I applaud him, because I've tried meetup groups and cannot enjoy that stuff easily, or begin conversations or connect easily, despite a desire to find likeminded people.

There's a leap between learning new skills, and accepting reality. We are wired differently, and accepting difference is not dwelling in negativity.

My eggsperience matches the OP's.
I learned many skills by going out into the real world and interacting with people while doing things that are interesting to me, e.g. my research.
I couldn't have learned these skills without leaving my comfort zone or from reading or writing ideas online.
No amount of emotional or other support from other people could have helped me develop or improve skills if I hadn't also gone out to try things.

Don't knock "online". I've learned an awful lot from the internet. I've gained skills, I've become a better writer, I've made friends, I've even been employed. Frankly, I'm not sure I wouldn't be quite a nasty person if I'd relied on people around me, books and TV to educate me.

Now that you mention it, Walrus, you make a good point. Besides the friend I made online ... I was able to teach myself online how to take fine art photos, and that's what got me started as an actual artist. Of course, I also had to go out into nature with my camera, but without knowing how best to take the pictures, me just getting out of the house wouldn't have been enough.

...

I agree. When you're communicating online, you're with people, you can really help people and you can really harm them, just like if you're hanging around with them in what we call "real life." . Of course you can't touch, taste or smell them, but that's doesn't render the process meaningless or unreal.

There are HUGE difference between online and in reality. Think about it. The world before internet came, we never say 'reality'. The online thing is fake, because of no competence communication methods that actually what humans meant to be designed for in reality.

In academic terms for many cases and scenarios; theory cannot be founded unless practice is being proven. Research wise, in a practical way you learn more than theories. Theories usually come up not proven, yet only in practice.

Imagine the entire world learn from the theory side. The reality won't work at all!

Look at me, like most of you praised me. Why its working to me, because it applies to everyone too. Being out there more, experience things, new things and new people and all of that. It got nothing to do being a NT. ASD is a learning disability, it takes time to learn new skills and languages. Being in practice/reality it helps you in this way. Being online like hermits, which never cease to exist over 15 years ago, it won't help you. The world soon become antisocial in this way.

I am really quite surprised about this. Online thing rarely positive to me. Extremely rare.

Everything I see is negative mainstream society crap flying around. Facebook is like a competition of humanity. A loser will get no attention. That also applies in reality too, but it is because that the person in reality have not learnt to adapt that type of environment. We no need to use of online source to run your country!