2 Aspies having a conversation

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Hi

I met an aspie person who I am very attracted too. We desided we would like to sleep together and that bit was easy. We have brief chats both of us sitting on the sofa facing the wall / book case / stairs which is absolutely frikking awesome. But he will get on to a subject he is passionate about then abruptly stop and say "Sorry I am waffling". Then we go back to silence for ages. I love hearing his "waffle." (There are diagrams and a chart and everything, they are really fascinating)

I could really do with some tips on how to hold a conversation with another aspie. With NT people I just continually "interview" them about them selves. They seam happy to talk about them selves but I dont want New Aspie Friend to feel bombarded.

I also quite enjoy being curled up in their arms in silence, but I said "I'm worried you are getting bored" and he just echoe'd what I said which confused me.

I haven't told him I am an aspie as I haven't got my diagnosis yet and really don't want to be rejected because of this.

I am used to being weird to NTs but I dont want to be weird to New Friend too

In your case, you both should dispense with the words, and get down to it!

He would be very hypocritical if he rejected you because you have AS. My boyfriend and I both do, and our meetings are much as you describe; we sit on the sofa for hours in silence, or I ramble on about one of my obsessive interests, or he brings up his favourite anime on his computer and we watch that without conversing until it's time to leave. The lack of social pressure is very nice. I like it when we go for walks and we're both completely silent, and I don't feel like I have to say something to make it less awkward, because we prefer the quiet.

Maybe you should just talk to him and explain that you enjoy listening to him, and that you also enjoy the silence and hope he does too.
I would really enjoy the togetherness of someone who can be quiet with me for a long time, like a non-toddler version of parallel playing.

Yes, but I've had aspies react negatively to me having AS traits that differ from theirs. Although some are great and very understanding, it's not my experience that another aspie necessarily will be more understanding than NTs.

I agree with much of what Skilpadde said. The best thing to do is directly state what you think. Don't hint, say it clearly. Tell him that you like to listen to his 'waffling' and that you think it's interesting. I've learned to do the same thing he does -- I suddenly stop talking when I have been talking for a while about something that interests me, because I don't know when someone is not interested. So there's sort of a timer in my head that tells me to shut up after a few minutes. Your friend has learned to do the same thing because it makes other people happier.

For everything else, like liking to be held in his arms for a long time, just tell him when there is something you like or don't like. Also tell him that you want him to tell you what he likes and doesn't like. When I first started dating my partner (who is NT), I tried to do everything he liked and I didn't speak up when there was something I didn't like unless I really, really didn't like it. But that didn't help anything.

The best thing to do is to communicate clearly and honestly, and you two can decide together what to do. For example, if you two are sitting quietly and you are enjoying it, tell him that you are enjoying it because he might also be enjoying it, but he might stop doing it because he thinks that you don't like it and you think that he doesn't like it, and then you both miss out on something you both enjoy. Did that make sense? I don't know how to explain more clearly.