autistic in hiding

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Does anyone else feel like an autistic in hiding? I was diagnosed by a specialist and friends who are familiar with ASD can see it, but doctors who see me regularly say things like my hobbies are not the usual for typical people with ASD. (Actually, they just say someone with autism would never be interested in that. Let's just say my "interest" usually involves a lot of outgoing people. And we all know people with ASD can't be outgoing, right? Oh and they can't use sarcasm either so there's another strike.)

I'm a friendly person. I socialize, and even like it sometimes (I'd say about 40% of the time, but I have a lot of trouble initiating). But I also meet enough criteria for a diagnosis, and have had one bestowed upon me by a doctor with a lot of experience with autistic adults. But nowadays I don't even mention it to new doctors or even new friends because it's not worth putting up with "you don't look at all autistic". Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm not, until I feel that invisible box between me and others and then I feel like maybe I am.

Therefore, I feel like an autistic in hiding. I guess on the internet, it's different.

Yes, that's a problem with the way the ASD label is applied and used. If you work hard and can appear normal, people want to relabel you as normal; then, they don't know how to see you when you do something they didn't expect.

I hope you enjoy it here at Wrong Planet!

I feel like an NT in hiding. I was diagnosed with autism when I was young, but I don't think my autistic traits are supposed to be there. They're usually caused by being sick or having fatigue issues. Since I'm sick right now I'm noticing some sensory issues.

Because I'm quiet and "shy" people don't think "autistic." They know I'm weird and different yet I still get people saying they don't think I'm autistic because... I don't know. One psychologist said because I could recognize the expression on a cartoon frog... even though she agreed I fit the DSM5.

So I tend not to mention it. Too many people think they either know better or refuse to think of autism as anything other than non-verbal rocking in a corner.

[ quote="invisibleboy"]

I have lots of issues in addition to Aspergers & even the so-called experts I've dealt with are misinformed about Aspergers because they said I communicated too well verbally & seemed too intelligent to have anything on the autism spectrum & one also said I have Aspergers but it's not due to autism. The individuals where I'm from don't know what Aspergers is or think it's like a less sever form of mental retardation. I never mention autism or Aspergers offline except with my girlfriend who's also on the spectrum.

The specialist is right and the non specialists are wrong. It is all about the intensity and repetitiveness of the interest and has nothing to do with what the interest is.

I can act like a normal social person when I have to, but
I'm always aware of that "invisible box" you mention.

I've read other Autistic people describe it as a "glass
wall" between themselves and humanity.

I find that glass wall never really disappears....

Having been in school with scores of asd kids, I can tell you many of them have been on the social side. And I was voted the most sarcastic member of 2014 on one of my (NT) forums. I have a psychical disability called dyspraxia. Some people who have a mild form of it have minor coordination issues that could easily go unnoticed. Others have it so severe they need most stuff done for them and have to be in a wheelchair some of the time. But they all have it.

'Autistic in hiding' is a good description of how I feel too.
I have been diagnosed with ASD, but with some effort, I have learnt to mimic the behaviour and interests of NTs, and I am generally quite social.
These characteristics have become embedded in my personality, and I now have trouble proving my Aspergianism to people who haven't known me long and aren't experts (we are not big on Aspie certificates in South Africa).
I now only attempt to convince fellow Aspergians of my diagnosis.

It's good to know some people feel similar. Makes me question the diagnosis less.