friendships

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does anyone ever get really excited when they think they're gonna make a new friend and then you come on too strong and then they don't end up being your friend? lol. :/

Right now I'm tying to make a new friend
and I'm very conscious of this.
I've been waiting a day or three to respond to messages ...
so far so good.

Am looking forward to any advice anyone has on this subject right along with you.

...

right?! !! i've killed so many friendships by being so clingy! without really realizing it. what i've found is that, despite how much i want to, don't overwhelm them with messages or texts. just chill out. even if it's hard. so your suggestion is great, a day or 3. i would think a day would do it.

Maybe,
although I think this person
is also an Aspie ...
and someone who would not appreciate
clingyness
so more than one day seems right.

...

oh ok. well whenever you think is right.

Yep, this is hard for me too. I try to follow a 1:1 ratio when I'm just getting to know someone...in other words if a person sends me one message, I try to only send one message back at about the same length. If I call them on the phone, then next time they have to call me. And if they do not respond or reciprocate, I usually leave it alone unless and until they do.

Once I get to know someone better, things may settle into a different pattern...like I know one person who gets depressed and doesn't talk to people because of it, so I'll call to check on her every so often if I haven't heard from her.

Now this is where I differed with this new person I'm trying to get to know. Since she seemed really enthusiastic but then I got no response to a message I sent ... I did send her another one to make sure she'd seen it ... and then she replied. And this pattern happened again ... which in the normal course of things might indicate things going badly, except when she replies, it is in fact to take further steps to make real plans for getting together. I just didn't send overwhelmingly long messages, or a whole bunch of messages at once, and I did allow some breathing space for real life and busy schedules. So now, we've settled on a day and time and place to go out for lunch, and I'm hoping for the best.

...

i wish you the best

I do this too! I try and make the same effort they make because that shows me what level they are comfortable with.