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Well I have come to the conclusion that AS sucks. I am now trying my best to be as NT as possible, I'm finding new things to talk about, I am asking other people questions, and nothing, yes nothing, is changing or working. This is especially true with females, but it goes for some males as well. What I'm surprised about is some males are receptive to this and actually DO pay mind to me, which is just unusual.

I am probably going to end up alone, but yet I am still wanting a gf. I just don't see how its going to happen because now, despite the fact I'm actually acting like a normal guy, girls still don't think I exist, so what am I doing wrong?

Yes, I do have my life together. I am clean, I know what I want to do with my life and have a goal in fact towards it, I am working on independence, and generally feel positive about my life and position. I am learning about a lot of different things, even modern news. Still nothing.

Last edited by duck12 on 08 Jul 2015, 8:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Things will get better as you get older.

I think this sort of thing happens to many guys.

Acting.

Well what else am I supposed to do? Nobody will accept me otherwise. I have already tried many, many times only to come up short every single time. I have no choice. My therapist is giving me these instructions.

I really don't want to act, but if I'm not allowed to be myself, what do I have to lose? I feel like my only option, if there is one, would be to give up if I can't start changing. And, I still very well might just give up if that doesn't prove to be anything inviting.

Last edited by duck12 on 08 Jul 2015, 8:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I think that no matter how much we act, we still miss something essential in the body language.
I've given up trying to please people... they're too exhausting

Why do you think it is that nobody is paying attention to you? It could be many things, for example, hygiene, job/career outlook, independence/control etc. If you've got your life in order then you've got the best chance you can to find a partner. If you're unsuccessful you're far less likely to find somebody unless you've got the most amazing personality ever to make up for it (very few people I would presume).

Your thread title sparked a memory. Hopefully this can cheer you up:

Truthfully, I have just about everything on that list, I'm gonna hopefully be independent soon, but thats the only issue I have at the moment.

I reckon that a decent therapist is one who allows you to explore your identity in a safe, non judgemental environment.

If your therapist is encouraging you to act, then he is lazy. And anyway, NTs have an uncanny ability to sniff out actors.

Far better to look for an identity that "fits", even if it is fragile and it hurts.

He is decent and non judgmental but this is a few of the things he tells me. Most of it is being myself while learning more. That basically sums it up.

I can't take a med because I am allergic to most if not all antidepressants so I'd have to go straight to ECT if this doesn't help my depression, unfortunately.

But he IS judgemental. Else why is he so insistent you change? Why not, instead, help you to explore the world as you are, rather that try to fit in a way that is uncomfortable?

And there are quite a few classes of AD. Are you allergic to all of them? Many people dislike SSRIs and therefore dismiss all ADs, but there are others. And anti psychotics can be useful. I'm on Mirtazapine and Risperidone and beta blockers, which I find to be a useful combination.

ECT is a gateway to hell.

Its more just disliking ADs due to side effects but I am allergic to a lot of them, yes. ECT IS bad, I won't lie, and that's why I don't want to go there. As for the therapist, I don't know why he does that sometimes. He doesn't do it all the time, or during every session. I have never tried anti psychotics or beta blockers, but unless they are true drugs (you know, I mean the harmful ones) I might have to do some research on those.

Don't be afraid to challenge your therapist. He might not even be aware he is doing wrong.

Therapy is about YOU, it is not about HIM. Take power.

NT males have never given me a second look, despite the fact that I have been told I'm attractive. I eventually found a boyfriend when one of the autistic boys from my social skills group asked me out. You might have more success dating aspie women than NTs. I don't have to act or hide my traits around my boyfriend because he acts the same way. Are there any aspie groups in your area? If not, you could advertise on an online dating site that you're looking for other aspies.

I would give you a second...a third...a fourth.....etc.

But as a friend, though. Very chaste.

Thank you Kraftie