Question regarding a childhood incident
I recently took mushrooms and walked away with a lot of important realizations including a confirmation that I have indeed been seriously depressed for a few years. Among the things I was wondering about was an incident with my dad when I was 6. I was at the neighbor's house with my brother when my mom came over sobbing and hysterical telling us to go inside their house. She had found my dad unresponsive on the couch. His heart stopped and he suffered brain damage resulting in severely impaired memory among other debilitating effects. The street became filled with ambulances, cop cars, and a fire truck. My brother and I sat in the basement with the neighbor's girls. They were pressed to the window trying to figure out what was happening. I was sitting on the couch playing donkey kong, unaffected. Does this seem like something that would signify autism? I've thought about it a lot in the past and now with retrospective clarity it seems like a genuine possibility.
You were 6, playing Donkey Kong with a street full of emergency vehicles outside and your dad having a heart attack.
If you're looking for a diagnosis of autism or other disorder, be advised that not one of us here is qualified to give one, since we're just a collection of amateurs on a social website. Only appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professionals can make an official diagnosis of an ASD. Online tests can not provide an objective ASD diagnosis, either.
You would be better off to take your concerns to a psychiatrist or psychologist.
Don't feel bad about it or feel that you need to excuse the way you reacted, if that's where you're going with this. You were only 6. You didn't do anything to make the situation worse and I'm sure anybody who knows anything about children (NT's or otherwise) would understand. It's OK.
CockneyRebel
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I agree with the other posters. Whether autistic or not, no 6 year old is going to fully understand what's going on in a situation like that. Unfortunately, I've been to quite a few funerals and I've noticed that the little kids, even the children of the people who just died, usually don't seem to understand and don't look sad.
I don't know if I would have understood how serious my father's unresponsive state was, but I would probably understand that something was off about him, if I had seen him like that. And I would certainly have been very aware of how outside of the norm my mother's sobbing and her demanding I go to the basement would have been, and knowing my reactions, I would likely have been in the background, watching silently, heart pounding, trying to understand, afraid because she was afraid, even if i didn't understand why.
Edit: It would also stress me out if I was kept away at such a time.
I don't know if you're lack of reaction is due to ASD or young age. But if you're feeling guilty over it, that's understandable, it's just a typical human reaction if you do. There is no need to though, kids are very different and pick up things at very different ages. Things will go above kids' heads, that's just the way it is. That's why kids both suffer and keep playing in wartime. Kids get some things, but not the full picture and all the consequences.
They also grieve hard for a short time and play five minutes later. They lack focus for such things, which can seem cold, but is natural because they are kids.
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